Separation and Divorce #relationship #relationshipadvice
September 29, 2014
For years I have led my life with the presumption that all relationships will end at some point, either in a mutual desire to separate or the inevitable—death. The author of What Happy People Know, Dan Baker, suggests that if you start off a relationship with this understanding, then you will be more attentive to the time you spend with your partner. I tell myself I’m being realistic by believing in this supposition. But, honestly, my belief, sometimes, leads me to fear of abandonment.
Should we spend our lives perpetuating this fear with unrealistic ideations about marriage and relationship lasting forever? Or should we live by the biblical law that “what God has put together, let no man put asunder”? Even the latter doesn’t suggest that God holds together those who don’t belong together.
In an abusive relationship, who would want his sister or friend or daughter to stay in a marriage with a man who beats her just because the loves of religion state that marriage should be forever? I certainly would not want pain for anyone I know.
Do you know anyone who is happy that hasn’t been through a few different relationships? I know one married couple who has been together for as long as I’ve known them. They seem very happy, but I don’t live with them everyday. So, even my perception of their relationship could be wrong. I thought one of my sisters was happily married, only to find out that her husband had been beating her for five years. We simply don’t know what other people live with on a daily basis. So, our judgments about relationship need to change.
I want to operate on a law that states: “Divine love draws together and holds together those who belong together, so that the glory of God may be manifest!”
You see, sometimes, Divine Spirit draws two people together for a time to accomplish lessons and to chip away at the hard shell of resistance around us to our life-long challenges. That certainly has happened to me. I owe a great debt to a few of the partners in my life who have taught me the my hardest lessons by leaving the relationship.
This isn’t a horrible premise, as some would initially believe. I certainly know that if I am to be with someone for a long time, that person will feel the glue of Spirit bind our hearts together for as long as we need. If our entire lives we make good on our spiritual promise to grow together, then so be it. But, if I’m moving forward and my partner isn’t, then maybe that very person whom I fell deeply in love with is holding me back from my greatest gifts on earth. This, too, has happened in my life.
My purpose in this Discovery is not to deny the beauty of marriage or the sanctity of it. Oh, no. I simply want us to stop grieving about a fantasy of marriage that will probably never happen. True love begins in spirit and is perpetuated by the glue of Spirit binding and holding us together.
When there is no eternal glue in a relationship, anything can happen to separate you. This is why I insist on having relationships with people who have the same spiritual ilk as I. I am so much more at ease being myself when I know that the person I love can pray with me, believe in my dreams, and leave the power of change to God. Enough said.
Coming Up: Burgeoning Uncertainty… Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBKXWwgDyHw
This is the highlighted book of the day. This novel shows the difference between spiritual law in relationship and Religious Law, which can be quite different. This premise is taught through a powerful story about unrequited love and how religion tries to steal it away. Buy the book here.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]