Stop, Look, Listen!
December 23, 2012
Stop Look Listen
Stop. Something in your body or in your mind is pleading with you to stop. There is a pain, a headache, a death in the family, a job loss, an addiction, or a relationship problem. There is something in your life today that is saying to you, “Stop! I need your attention!”
I want you to focus in on it, right now, and decide what the message is. Nothing happens in your life without a purpose. Know that, in this moment. So, what is the message? You are not meant to live with this struggle. So, figure out why this message is calling to you, and the pain will disappear.
There is a psychological approach called Gestalt Therapy that suggests that everything going on in your mind and body is a voice for a problem that is hidden therein. If you were to imagine speaking to that problem as a person sitting across from you and ask it why it has come to you, it would tell you the reason.
In fact, Gestalt Therapist will act as the surrogate and play the role of your or your problem to ask questions and put you in a kind of a hypnotic place to answer the questions.
One time I had a Gestalt therapist ask me a random question at a party. Are you hurting anywhere? I said, “Yes, my neck and shoulders are killing me right now.”
She took me into a nearby room and described what she did as a therapist. I was into it and let her do her work. She took on the role of me as I took on the role of my shoulder pain. Within minutes I was crying and telling her that I had to carry the burden of my entire family and relationship. It was way to heavy for me to shoulder, and I needed to find a way to relieve some of the pressure. This information brought me to a new understanding of something I had no idea that was going on in my life. I was very grateful for her help and reaching out to someone she barely knew.
Look: Life pace is so fast these days. We hardly have time to breathe, let alone have time to take a good look at what we’re doing and how it’s affecting our lives and perhaps the lives of our children and partners. We need to slow down today to a pace that allows you feel the pulse of the earth. Yes, I said that. I know that is a little woowoo for some of you. But hear me out.
If you have a metronome or have a cell phone that can download a metronome app for 99 cents, do it. Then set it for 1 second per beat. Close your eyes and breath for 6 seconds in and 6 seconds out. This breathing rate will cause your blood pressure to go back to a normal rate. Don’t let any seconds pass between the inhales and exhales. Do this for about 3-5 minutes with your eyes closed.
If you think some thoughts that are stressful, move your eyeballs from left to right and let the thoughts sweep clean, like erasers, any visions you have coming up as you breathe. This is a neuro-linguistic programming technique.
In biofeedback, this breath rate will bring you back to your calmest heartbeat. When you get there, you’ll notice that you are more sensitive to that which is going on around you. Your body is less tense, and your sensory perception is heightened. This is good.
Listen: This is the hardest part for people who never stop—for people who do for everyone but themselves. I’m talking to you who is overweight because you eat to comfort yourself or smoke to comfort yourself or drink to get to sleep at night, because you are so depleted of life energy from your work and family that you have nothing left to comfort you. Yes. You are the ones that need to listen—hard to the voice that says: you are important too.
It’s time to make better boundaries in your life and stop letting people walk all over you. It’s time to take time for yourself and feel your passion for a minute for whatever you love.
Listen to your heart. Breathe from your heart. Breathe from every part of your body. Feel your mind descend from your brain stem and drop into other parts of your body. Your mind may think generally from your head, but it is not in your head. Your mind is your soul and, if you let it, it can move through your body. Feel your mind in your heart and in your belly. Feel your mind in your chest as you take in strong breath. Let out all the toxic thoughts on the exhale and fill up with your passionate thoughts.
I like to think about filling up with prosperity, wisdom, colors from my garden, and strength. I see each organ filling with the necessary power to carry me through the day. I take the time to settle my mind and body, before I reach forward into my life and plans. This way it is much harder for people to knock me off kilter.
This is a practice worth knowing and learning. I hope it helped you, because it has made my life worth living and peaceful.