Tag: anger

Living with Bitterness #anger #MayaAngelou #anxiety #cancer

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” —Maya Angelou

In the words of one of the greatest writers of all time, “anger is like fire.” It sits deep in your soul and spreads like wild fires on dessert land with no rain in sight. Ms. Angelou says anger “burns it all clean,” but she didn’t make much about the difference between her first metaphor about bitterness, which she says, “is like cancer… eating up the host” and anger. What did she mean by her pertinent analogy?

The dictionary defines bitterness as “resentment, disappointment at being treated unfairly.” It, also, defines anger as “a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.” Both sound very much the same. However, I believe Ms. Angelou distinguished the two. She meant that bitterness was like cancer, homeostatic, sitting quietly in your cells, but growing. Anger, however, actually is a forceful movement toward change—like fire. I would tend to agree with this concept, if I accept her precept.

I have been angry a lot in my life. But more than angry, I have been bitter—deeply bitter from hurt that has gone unrequited. I had an alcoholic father who abused everyone around him. I had committed partners who have committed adultery. I have had friends steal from me. I have had people speak lies about me. But what has caused the most bitterness is the feeling that I believe Creator God would want me to forgive everyone without the need to work through the problems, first.

What rises in me when someone wrongs me, now, is pure anger. The bitterness is gone. I’ve worked through the whys and hows. Now I need to make some fierce changes with how I handle bitterness and being mistreated. In other words, I must create better boundaries to stop what has happened in the past, but also work on the triggers of the old bitterness as well.

The one time I remember in my life I let my anger manifest, I ended up in the worst predicament I had ever been in, in my life. Anger caused a complete dismantling of my life and some friendships. I was exonerated of the wrong, but I still felt bitter. Anger without the release of bitterness makes no sense. There must be a way to extinguish both!

Many therapists and psychologists say that anger is the final stage of grief. What I perceive as a hypnotherapist and life coach is that bitterness is habitual, negative thinking. So, to get out of bitterness we must create actions to circumvent or interrupt the neural pathways of the habitual thought or action. If you seriously don’t want to be bitter anymore about someone or some action, then you must take control of your mind and stop the habit of thinking the negative thought. This process takes diligence and may take a clinical hypnotherapist to help. But, changing your belief will also stop the growth of the resentment building inside like a cancer. You must do this, or else you will end sick, because as we know, cancer often kills!


I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: . I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.

Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also aself-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.



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* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

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Play It Again, Samantha! #Revenge #thedoover

Many times after a break-up or a divorce, people want to lash out at the person who presumably stabbed him/her in the back. But, every time we unleash our anger at someone, we hurt ourselves and simply propagate more anger into the universe. If you have ever exacted revenge, you notice that the satisfaction of hate lasts about as long as it took to press RETURN on your computer. Then, your email is lost in cyber space, and you wait for the repercussions of your hate with a sour feeling in your stomach and anxiety in your heart. I have done this before after a friend literally stole my business, only to find myself on the opposite side of a table with a best friend’s lawyer facing me. Anger isn’t pretty. But there must be a way to assuage the anger before it hurts others.

We all have reasons to be angry. I get that. If you watch the television show, “Revenge,” then you will know that the reason we couldn’t get enough of this show the first year it aired was because everyone the protagonist exacted revenge from deserved it. We all wanted her just do for her, because getting your just do doesn’t often happen in life. But, this year on the television show, we are more than tired of Emily getting revenge, only to see her hurting herself and all the people she has loved. I doubt this show will continue after too much longer. How much revenge can someone take, before she hurts herself? This was true in the finale last year when her fiancé actually shot her on their wedding day, then she fell off of a boat into the ocean, only to be swept away into the night.

Alas, Emily was found on the shore and was revived the next year. Really? Do we often get second chances when it comes to vengeful deeds and thoughts? Not usually. I have one ex-partner who has completely barred me from his life after I told him exactly how I felt about him and his affair with my ex before him. It took me six years to say it. I sincerely thought I had my anger under control, until, one day he pressed one of my PTSD buttons. Then, I tore into him like a ravenous lion killing a lamb. He never knew what hit him. I don’t blame him for his attitude now. I don’t even trust my own threshold of anger. That’s probably why I took the RETURN KEY TO SEND button off of my computer and phone.

Everyone thinks that I’m always at peace, because I practice yoga and meditation. Trust me, if I didn’t practice spirituality, I’d be an angry mess. Sometimes, life catches every human off-guard, and you simply do what comes naturally, act like a human. It’s our God-self that keeps the demons in our minds at bay. It’s our spirit that reminds us we don’t have to give out hate to get peace.

If you are in a place of anger, try to get some help. Talk it out with a counselor or a life coach. We can help you put your anger to good use. We can help you feel it without hurting anyone else your life. Anger is the worst poison, because it kills you, not the one who hurt you.


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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

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