Tag: bullying

I’m Through with Bullying Myself

When I was a kid, I was bullied almost every day by someone who thought I was either gay or effeminate. I learned to walk away, fight back, or internalize all the pain that negativity does to a child. As I was a waif of a kid, I neither fought back nor retaliated. I simply swallowed the truths of others—enough to convince myself I was not good enough, handsome enough, or strong enough.

The one attribute I had that bullies could never take away from me was my intelligence and my spirituality. I always knew that eventually I would grow up and succeed. I believed I was God’s special child. I was also convinced that the bullies would continue to be immature and deteriorate into their own hate. I had an innate belief in like begets like and even understood the concept of Karma

When I went back to my first high school reunion of 20 years (I missed the first two reunions), I was surprised that the bullies I thought would be unkind and remind me of the terrible years of high school were actually some of the nicest people. Many of the jocks looked as if they had been through 3 divorces, lost all of their hair, moved out of their homes from alimony debt, and basically aged about 3 times faster than I did. The cool kids even invited me to the after reunion party, which I never thought I would be privy to.

Also, some of the guys and gals who weren’t bullies, whom I thought would not prosper, actually did find their way to very successful lives, especially the quiet ones, the ones you never looked up at anyone. Then, two of the same ilk simply ended it all before life actually started. Sad news.

Today I look on the Internet for my daily news and find that the country is upset about #Melanie Trump’s promise to stop #cyber-bullying, especially her own husband’s less-than-whimsical attempts at Tweeting to the country his innermost, ridiculous thoughts.

I wondered how the Internet would have shaped me had social media existed in the days that I went to grammar and high school. Would I have excelled in computer science and had an edge over the muscle-bound jocks? Would I have ended up being that vengeful child who brings a handgun to school because he’s clever enough to know how to shop on the Internet in the dark web? I honestly don’t know. I do remember being angry enough to have had some strong thoughts about revenge, but I’m not the type of guy, or was I ever one who imagined blowing people’s heads off to satisfy my need for revenge.

I realized soon after that first high school reunion that, not only did I continue to believe the lies of the past bullies, but I continued to bully myself daily. If I wasn’t the best at everything, I would try harder, work more diligently, and force myself to overcome. I needed the standing ovations to survive the hate for myself.

This was a hard reality to face, which is why I stopped singing, acting, and writing for quite some time while I went to therapy. I needed to take away the false spirit of approval to reach into the disgust I had for myself.

Bullying can often result in self-hate and an eschewed self-reality that harms each individual who experiences it. I have helped many people through this kind of pain in my work. Many of those same people don’t realize it, but they have helped me recognize my own pain through their strength to pinpoint and extricate their grief.

No one needs to live with self-doubt and the dubious feeling of “I’m not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough,” because life constantly gets in our face with those kinds of messages everyday.

We must take back our lives and realize that our only mission on this Earth is to recognize our God Self, to shine our bright light with compassion and love, and become the Salt of the Earth for the Universe.

Be who you were meant to be!

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Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.

SKYPE sessions are available. Click here for more information.* * *

 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!

GO TO AMAZON

 

 

 

 

 

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Your Biggest Bully

I was in the ninth grade walking to the pencil sharpener. A boy that was a lot stronger and meaner than I began to taunt me. He pretended he was going to poke me in the face with his just-sharpened pencil. “What you going to do about it, fag?” he continued.

Just as I neared the pencil sharpener, I made a move the #bully apparently didn’t expect. The razor sharp pencil jabbed me between my cornea and the corner of my eye. The scar remained on my sclera until I decided to have it removed 20 years later.

I mention this story because I don’t even remember this bully’s name. He was my personal antagonist who decided he didn’t like me simply because he had no idea how to deal with someone different than he. I understood that even at the time. I made light of the situation and pretended it didn’t hurt to the school nurse and my father. I didn’t want anyone in my family or my circle of friends to talk about what happened. I was afraid of my own unique attitude toward life and how I was perceived by others. I knew I was gay way back then. I guess everyone else did too, especially the other boys in my class.

As I got older I had one objective concerning those bullies in my class: To be smarter and more talented than any of them. When I would get punched in the stomach in the stairwell by someone I didn’t even know, I encouraged myself with how I would “show all of them someday.” I wanted to be a star because I wanted to prove them wrong. This was a terrible premise to live by for half of my life, maybe most of my life.

 

What happened as I grew older was that I became my own worst antagonist. I became the bully that they were. I forced myself to do better, to be better at any cost. I have the work ethic of three people put together. I love efficiency, but most of all, I must be efficient to accomplish the most of EVERYONE. Again, the bully comes out.

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I see this bully side of me when I have a day that I can’t motivate myself to do anything. I just want to sit on the couch all day long and eat bonbons. Taking a day off is the most difficult day of my life. I can’t just rest unless I’m sick in bed and cannot get up. Even then I’m practicing Spanish in my mind.

I am my biggest bully. There is no doubt in my mind. I have replaced all of the mean people in my life and my father’s strong will with my own “must be the best” attitude.

The only way to change this position is to become an observer of this behavior and discover why I feel I have to try so hard. Even though I know the premise, I have not succeeded in changing the behavior. I still must do this… must do that. I don’t feel successful unless I’m accomplishing. 

The truth about life, though, is that the only action that you NEED TO DO is be the light that God is through you and as you. Anymore than that is by your own volition. There’s nothing wrong with having a strong work ethic. But you must recognize when you bully yourself and overwork. We can’t replace our lifelong antagonists with an alter ego that is as bad or worse.

 

 

____________________

I would love for you to stretch out your arms and think about protecting the part of the world that you can help, by not killing animals to eat. Check out my new YouTube Cooking Series: Angel Feast: Recipes for a New World:

 

 

GIVING AND RECEIVING IN LIFE IS OFTEN DIFFICULT. I have been giving from my heart about 2-3 hours a day for 7 years to create advice–spirit, mind and body for millions of readers. Recently, I have been led to ask people to give back as a way for me to learn how to receive.

As a tribute to my belief that “prosperity is all around us, should we choose to receive,” I want to invite those of you who want to send an offering for the joy or advice you have received from Finding Authentic You Blog.

“We must give to receive, always. This is the Law of Reciprocity.”

If you would like to participate in giving to the gift of this blog: Please send all checks, money orders, or credit card requests to:

Bo Sebastian, c/o Finding Authentic You Enterprises,
117 Lake Emerald Drive #108
Oakland Park, FL 33309

Thank you for your gift!

__________

If you buy a copy of my book: FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU and send me the receipt, I will send you

A FREE HYPONSIS MP3 TO HELP YOU DURING TIMES OF PAIN. SEND THE RECEIPT TO bosebastian5@gmail.com and I’ll send the Mp3 within the week, I promise.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/

[IF YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS POST, PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS USING ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE SOCIAL MEDIA ICONS ON THE SIDE PANEL OR IN A POP UP MENU AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE! THANKS SO MUCH, BO.]

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+seb%2Caps%2C190&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]

 

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

____________________

 

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Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!

GO TO AMAZON

 

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Self-Bullying? #bullying #self-deprecation #spirituality

Many people talk about the important issue of bullying in schools. Not many are talking about the daily bullying we do to ourselves. How many times a day do you call yourself a self-deprecating name, like “stupid,” or “idiot” or say something like: “how dumb could you be”?

If someone you don’t know very well bullies you or says something horribly mean to you, somewhere inside, you may realize that this person has no idea who you are. They are simply looking on the surface.

Imagine how your own subconscious reacts to you—the person who know you the best—whenever you call yourself a name. The habit is intrinsic in this society and often comes from seeing your failures as negative instead of learning experiences.

If you are 35 or older, you probably did not have parents who believed in talking things out and supporting your artistic desires. I know my dad wanted me to become a clone of him. Forget about the kids at school who only believed that jocks should succeed. These mean children and old-time, harsh parenting skills didn’t give us much self-esteem. In fact, it did just the opposite. It gave us the words we use against ourselves now when we think we have underachieved. So, how do we begin to get over the issue of Self-bullying?

First of all, you must know who you are in relationship to the world and ultimately—Spirit. If you understand that Source is one Mind and that you are connected, created by and shaped in the image of that Powerful Mind, then you will begin to see yourself as One in power.

Co-creators, which we all are, like children in the playground of the universe are always LEARNING by making mistakes. We set out to create with great intentions. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don’t. But, ultimately, we are always learning lessons to help ourselves do better the next time.

If you were the parent to a child who made a mess of his or her first art project, would you tear up the paper and tell the child he or she will never be an artist? Hell, no! You would teach the child slowly the process of learning to paint inside the lines, not to mix all the colors together, and perhaps give the child art lessons. We don’t demean our children these days for messing up. We help them learn to be better.

So, we must go back into our own minds and listen for the voice of self-deprecation. Listen hard and decide who is the face behind those mean words to yourself. Once you discover the who, you must have an internal discussion with that voice. The discussion should go something like this:

“Here’s what I know about me. There is only one Source, and that source is God the good. I am a product of that amazing Source of Love. Therefore, I am good. Everyone is created by this same Source, so we are, in some way, unified in mind—even if we see life completely differently and through different lenses.

“I’m thankful for knowing who I am, and I choose NOW to stop using these self-deprecating words that you have used against me in the past to make me feel small. I am and will continue to say words of truth to myself, encouraging myself to be the best, because I am made of the best.”

***

Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

Sign up for the mailing list and you will be the first to know about the Vlog and get some great hints on how to create easy ways to make great and healthy food. https://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=euba6yyab&p=oi&m=1126117148292&sit=4zezfe4kb&f=73a1949c-5582-4fe3-8ec4-d7a9c6604f38

Also, check out my new book: “Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind.

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

 

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+seb%2Caps%2C190&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]

 

 

 

 

 

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