When I was a kid, I was bullied almost every day by someone who thought I was either gay or effeminate. I learned to walk away, fight back, or internalize all the pain that negativity does to a child. As I was a waif of a kid, I neither fought back nor retaliated. I simply swallowed the truths of others—enough to convince myself I was not good enough, handsome enough, or strong enough.
The one attribute I had that bullies could never take away from me was my intelligence and my spirituality. I always knew that eventually I would grow up and succeed. I believed I was God’s special child. I was also convinced that the bullies would continue to be immature and deteriorate into their own hate. I had an innate belief in like begets like and even understood the concept of Karma.
When I went back to my first high school reunion of 20 years (I missed the first two reunions), I was surprised that the bullies I thought would be unkind and remind me of the terrible years of high school were actually some of the nicest people. Many of the jocks looked as if they had been through 3 divorces, lost all of their hair, moved out of their homes from alimony debt, and basically aged about 3 times faster than I did. The cool kids even invited me to the after reunion party, which I never thought I would be privy to.
Also, some of the guys and gals who weren’t bullies, whom I thought would not prosper, actually did find their way to very successful lives, especially the quiet ones, the ones you never looked up at anyone. Then, two of the same ilk simply ended it all before life actually started. Sad news.
Today I look on the Internet for my daily news and find that the country is upset about #Melanie Trump’s promise to stop #cyber-bullying, especially her own husband’s less-than-whimsical attempts at Tweeting to the country his innermost, ridiculous thoughts.
I wondered how the Internet would have shaped me had social media existed in the days that I went to grammar and high school. Would I have excelled in computer science and had an edge over the muscle-bound jocks? Would I have ended up being that vengeful child who brings a handgun to school because he’s clever enough to know how to shop on the Internet in the dark web? I honestly don’t know. I do remember being angry enough to have had some strong thoughts about revenge, but I’m not the type of guy, or was I ever one who imagined blowing people’s heads off to satisfy my need for revenge.
I realized soon after that first high school reunion that, not only did I continue to believe the lies of the past bullies, but I continued to bully myself daily. If I wasn’t the best at everything, I would try harder, work more diligently, and force myself to overcome. I needed the standing ovations to survive the hate for myself.
This was a hard reality to face, which is why I stopped singing, acting, and writing for quite some time while I went to therapy. I needed to take away the false spirit of approval to reach into the disgust I had for myself.
Bullying can often result in self-hate and an eschewed self-reality that harms each individual who experiences it. I have helped many people through this kind of pain in my work. Many of those same people don’t realize it, but they have helped me recognize my own pain through their strength to pinpoint and extricate their grief.
No one needs to live with self-doubt and the dubious feeling of “I’m not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough,” because life constantly gets in our face with those kinds of messages everyday.
We must take back our lives and realize that our only mission on this Earth is to recognize our God Self, to shine our bright light with compassion and love, and become the Salt of the Earth for the Universe.
Be who you were meant to be!
Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.
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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian
What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian
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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!