Tag: commitment

Commitment and Marriage: How Close Is Love to Terror?

While standing on line to get our marriage license at the Broward County Courthouse, my fiancé and I were met with some strange and judgmental gazes. David and I were the only gay couple sitting among the normal ones. The others were dressed in suits and getting married by the Justice of the Peace in the adjacent room. Each of the couple eyes spoke there truths:

“Your marriage isn’t real.” “Come on now… Really?” “God does not support this.”

Actually, the only person who seemed to care about our impending nuptials was the Haitian woman who waited on us to issue the license. all smiles, she seemed to be thrilled with this tall Irishman wanting to marry a silver fox!

What struck me as the most interesting sensation in the entire process is when I said to David: “Are you feeling emotional?”

Continue reading below.

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Continued from Above:

He answered: “I’m kind of not feeling anything. How about you?”

We both burst into laughter. We had waited for about 8 months for this moment, talked about it incessantly, and now we held the document that legally binds us together, but neither of us felt anything we could describe. The closest I could come to a description of what I saw on David’s face was a cross between terror and love. I wasn’t a bit thrown by the moment, because I had some strange feelings, as well. None of which I could say I recognized.

I guess my life was flashing before me. I saw all the times relationship didn’t work out. I saw the people who love me but couldn’t commit. I remembered the bad endings to the loving beginnings. Much passed before my eyes, until I engaged with the man standing before me, ready to commit his life to mine. I was no longer unsettled.

Even the bible says that (Proverbs 20: 6-7):

Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? 7 The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

Actually, as I looked through the bible verses about marriage, I could only find scriptures about men and women. I believe it understandable, given the book that is supposed to be the most sacred in the Christian paradigm, why right winged Christians wouldn’t understand that all the references to men and women marrying is just a part of historical history. Just as people have tattoos now (The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT)), when in the early Christian days it was a sign of slavery. Women had to wear head coverings and sit on opposite sides as the men. Women had few choices in those days.

We are all willing to think, hey that was just the historical time for those reasons, but few Right-Winged Christians can abide by men and women marrying was also an historical clip in time. The only thing that doesn’t change is change, folks! If you are one of those people that can’t wrap your head around change, you may consider looking everywhere and try to name one things that is tangible that doesn’t change. You won’t find one.

The Buddha says:

Early Buddhism dealt with the problem of impermanence in a very rationale manner. This concept is known as anicca in Buddhism, according to which, impermanence is an undeniable and inescapable fact of human existence from which nothing that belongs to this earth is ever free. 

Buddhism declares that there are five processes on which no human being has control and which none can ever change. These five processes are namely, the process of growing old, of not falling sick, of dying, of decay of things that are perishable and of the passing away of that which is liable to pass. Buddhism however suggests that escape from these is possible and it’s through Nirvana.

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If you buy a copy of my book: FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU and send me the receipt, I will send you

A FREE HYPONSIS MP3 TO HELP YOU DURING TIMES OF PAIN. SEND THE RECEIPT TO bosebastian5@gmail.com and I’ll send the Mp3 within the week, I promise.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

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Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

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Independence Day #spiritualadvice #Independenceday #4thofjuly #lettinggo

Tomorrow, I intend on celebrating a great deal on July 4th. Independence, as defined by Wikipedia is: “freedom from outside control; and not depending on another’s authority.” Who doesn’t want that for every individual on earth? However, most of us have to deal with bosses, partners, and sometimes even family members trying to tell us what to do todos los dias!

Independence is a state of mind, first and foremost. If you feel codependent in anyway—for your happiness, for your prosperity, or for your health—you have created someone or something to depend on. That person or thing doesn’t really help you, because he or she keeps your from being the independent person you want to be. So, in your mind, you become resentful, even though you may, also, be very thankful for the many perks that person offers you in life.

This is the problem with most intimate relationships. Relationship doesn’t have to mean total codependency. I love how Kalhil Gibran suggests we look at marriage:

You shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

As many gay individuals begin to contemplate marriage, it would be appropriate to make new templates for what marriage and commitment means; albeit, a verbal contract that really resonates with your heart and beliefs and the heart and beliefs of your spouse to be. This is not a time to feel as if you can manipulate another into your way of thinking. Be on the same page with the person you love, both spiritually and intimately, so that your relationship will thrive.

As far as independence in employment goes, let’s strive to be more self-relying with work, as well. I notice that the people who are most happy in life are the people who have created lives that are self-prospering. Find ways to support yourself that allow you to be independent, as well. For me, I’m always thankful for the many years I was self-employed, because I’m much happier when I get to make my own decisions. When we force ourselves to be in supportive or subordinate roles for 40-50 hours a week, sometimes our souls rebels in ways that look like habits—overeating, drinking too much, or even drugs.

Begin your dream of Independence on this special day when a great amount of energy is being celebrated for the best independence of all, our freedom and democracy!

Picture of Learning Alone

Today’s featured book is “Learning Alone.” It’s a book birthed from my own spiritual growth around the subject of codependence and Anxious Attachment Disorder. I guarantee you’ll love this book if you struggle with either of these issues. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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 Beautiful Bird

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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#Commitment? Love Is My Decision

My path keeps crossing people I have dated. Last night I ran into a man whom I dated, which ended up with him going back to a younger guy, because the dude had trouble with him saying “I Love You.” When the younger guy realized my old date loved him back, they got back together, and alas, we stopped our dance.

I speak about this because I asked him if his relationship was going well. He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t ask for commitments,” he said, basically.

I actually shook him. “What? Love is a commitment—a good one. One that expects the best from each other.” I thought of Allen sitting close by and the kind of love I appreciate without even asking for. And also the kind of love I ask for and, because of commitment and respect, get in return.

My old friend looked at me like I was crazy. Can you imagine what intimate love would look like without the unsaid words of commitment we expect from those who nurture our hearts? From anyone who loves me, I commit to:

  • Balancing his/her needs with mine;
  • Listening intently with a compassionate heart;
  • Praying for the goals that would bring them hope, joy, and prosperity;
  • Helping when he or she is down; and mostly
  • Representing what the world doesn’t in relationship—being the crystal in the chaos.

If love can’t provide my life with some or most of the above, why even love? I know that the scriptures teach us to love without condition, but I’m not talking about brotherly love. I speak of committed love. The love we don’t HAVE to give. This is the intimate love that we CHOOSE to give, such as in friendships and intimate partners. Without commitment we would be living in the exact chaos the world has to offer.

And what of that?
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13: 4-7 NASB)

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New Challenge: Go to Week 5 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” 

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Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

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