Tag: dealing with loss

Starting Over: A New Life, A New You #startingover #afterloss

On Valentine’s Day your partner or wife tells you that your ten-year relationship is over, when you had dinner, a box of the finest chocolates, and flowers planned for that evening. You were completely blindsided. You never saw change coming, yet it appeared like a bag of cool on Christmas, anyhow. Change is everywhere, always—in the trees, in the flowers, on our skin, in our minds, and especially moving as time passes. Change happens inevitably. It’s the one thing we can count on with absolute certainty.

Recently, a bit of change happened to me that spoiled my dream of the future. I grieved for about a week. Then, suddenly, a part of my consciousness that observes my own life—my subconscious mind—began to react to the situation. I wondered if I were sadder about dashing my future dreams than my partner’s decision to leave the relationship, because he wasn’t ready for the long term. When I got real with myself, I suddenly changed gears and began to wake up from my elusive dream.

What exactly can we expect from life? People leave their houses all the time, never to come back because of accidental, causal, or disease-related deaths. Relationships changes. Children grow up to betray us. Even family, who you expect to always be there, sometimes ignores you. The opposite situations happens, perhaps, not as often. Sometimes, the child we expected to be a drug addict, studies to become a doctor. The black sheep becomes the best friend. Or a tree that looked dead, suddenly shows signs of life. What do we make of life in these situations?

The greatest lesson of life is to live in the moment, in the now. If you do so, you a.) rid your life of the fear of change, b.) make the most of the moment, c.) become more realistic about life and your own pain body, d.) but most importantly, you stop making unrealistic expectations about the future. Trust me, even your relationships will last longer, if you treat them with the precious gift of the now. Stop expecting the future to be the same as it was yesterday. Change is a constant given.

The first chapter of my book, Finding Authentic You, is entitled: “The Seven Steps to Effective Change.” If you want to be able to cope with the change in your life, you have to effectively change with it. In this book, I provide for you the seven essential steps to move from grief to a positive picture of the future.


Finding Authentic You is a self-help guide with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download version.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

Go Directly to Amazon to Buy the Book!

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.
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Conversations with the Sick and Dying – Part II

Conversations with the Sick and Dying—Part II

When I was in my late thirties, a friend from church brought her mother, Belle, to me for spiritual healing from a brain tumor. Belle had been diagnosed with a Gliobiastoma Multiforme, which is the most common and deadliest of malignant primary brain tumors in adults.

When came into my home, she looked and sounded like nothing was wrong with her. Her daughter was of the belief that with enough prayer and meditation it may all go away. I got on board, of course. We all prayed together for the best and highest good for Belle.

Belle and her daughter would come back every couple days. Each time I would lay hands on her and pray. Sometimes God would give me things to tell her daughter to do to help, such as food or cures that would help. I believe Belle had about a year more life than anyone thought she was going to have, but at one point a year later, everything took a turn for the wor

Her daughter called me. Belle was barely able to talk and bedridden. I went to visit and found her completely angry with me, with God and with life. Belle didn’t want to die. Worse yet, she was afraid of what death might bring. I could feel it all around her. She also had shared some things with me during our time together that helped me understand what this day might look like, when it arrived.

So, what I kept saying to her was things I tried to share when she was healthy. I asked her to imagine that a beautiful white horse with wings had come for her at the foot of her bed. There was an angel on this horse who would take her to a perfect heavenly and peaceful place. There was nothing to fear. Just imagine it.

I shared the image with her daughter. And every time the pain would get bad, the daughter would keep reiterating about getting on the horse with the angel.

I spent a lot of time at the house for the next couple days because I knew that Belle’s death was near. But suddenly, I had it in my heart that I was to go to my friend Lisa Palas’s house that night, where there was a monthly spiritual group that met. During the group, we had a potluck, then there was always a special presentation, then we had a powerful prayer time.

That evening when we were in prayer, a wind and a white light whisked through the room. The many candles lit all flickered intensely. All 30 of us saw it. Someone even said it looked like a white horse flew by. In the next few minutes, my cell phone rang. Belle had died minutes before.

No one else saw what I saw when the candles flickered, but they felt something that was unquestionably spiritual. I saw Belle on the white horse with that angel that I had prayed would take her away. And she waved to me and smiled as the horse flew by.

When you witness something like this, you know in your heart that there is a hereafter. No one could possibly take that knowledge from me now.

Today I found out that one of my dear, older yoga clients had passed away, unbeknownst to me. As we did the class, I felt his presence at the back of the room, almost as if he was asking if he could join in. I don’t know that anyone else could feel it, but I sensed it. I nodded my head and in my mind said, “Absolutely, any time.”

Today, I’m rather sure I did yoga with a friend who had passed away and was spiritually in the back of my fitness room. I felt friendly and at home with the idea of angels all around me—even doing Yoga!

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Momma Lost Her Credit Card and Her Cool

Today I had an interesting experience with my mother. My mom and I were grocery shopping at Kroger. When it came time to pay for her groceries, she started to freak out. I looked behind me to find a frazzled woman throwing things out of her pocketbook and hollering crazy sounds like a mad man: “I can’t find it. Where did I put it? I know it’s here. It has to be here? Where can it be?”

“What’s going on?” I asked her, trying to stay calm.

“I lost my banking card. How will I pay for the groceries? Oh my God, what if someone stole it and they used all my money!”

They were all valid reasons to be frightened in a world where identity theft for an elderly person is not only quite probable, but very likely. I took her hand and asked her to let me help her look.

We scoured the purse. I never knew there could be so many compartments with things wrapped in tissue in them—things I was afraid to unwrap. Then I found them—about 25 of my business cards. She had been collecting them from when I first started making the first design ten years ago. It was a like walking through time, sifting through them, looking for her banking card.

A sweet moment turned into a sad one, when I realized that her card was, indeed, nowhere in her purse or wallet. “I’ll pay for the groceries, Mom, and we’ll take care of checking other places when we get you home.”

She was breathing heavy. When your 80-year-old mother suffered a triple by-pass a year before, you start to worry about the times that make her weary and disoriented. I took her by the arm and led her to the car, trying to ease her mind. “I’m sure we’ll find it.”

When we got home, we looked in all the places it could have been, and still no card. My mother was becoming desperate. She was calling herself stupid now, which in my house is not something you do. There had been enough name calling my whole life for ten life times. We are all humans who make human mistakes.

I told her about the three times I left my credit card at a bar because the bartender had taken to start a tab. As I wasn’t used to that, I just left without it. (I left out the part that I was a little too tipsy to remember it.) But it was easily recovered, once I remember what I did with it.

So, I asked her where the last place she used the bankcard. It turned out she had used it at Walmart. She couldn’t get it to work in the machine and asked the cashier to help her. She must have forgotten to get the card back from him.

So, we called Walmart. Low and behold, the card was there, and everything is back to homeostasis.

I learned a lot about my mother today and about myself. I saw a time go by when my father or her stepfather would have degraded her and called her names for being so irresponsible….

(To Read the rest of this Blog, please click on this link. I appreciate you helping me out with this new format. The objective is to get people to the actual blog site and hopefully get you signed up for blog emails, trackbacks, comments, and truly get you involved in life change. Of course, you don’t have to do that to just read the blog. But my hope is some of you will step forward and begin to take part. www.blog2grow4spirit.com )

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