Tag: dealing with the past

It Came to Pass, Not to Stay

It Came to Pass, Not to Stay

My pastor, Dr. Mitch Johnson, said yesterday that the bible always reads, “It came to pass” not “It came to stay.” This got me a thinkin’ about what God intended!

Everything is really passing—speedily. Four months ago we started planning my mother’s 80th’s birthday. This weekend it happens. A blink of an eye was what transpired between the plans and now the moment.

Just ten years ago I couldn’t imagine planning something a year from today. Now, it doesn’t bother me a bit. Lots of factors can change in a year, but life passes. It certainly doesn’t stay. That’s for sure.

So, what if something bad that has happened to you or has transpired in the past that you just can’t seem to let go of sticks in your mind and you can’t get it out? How does knowing that life passes and doesn’t stay help the healing process?

Well, when I sit on my spiritual perch (the place that is outside my body, looking back into my life), I notice that what I see is a human body moving through space and time. When trials happen here in my body, there is a pause in human motion, a blip. Then the body and mind wait to catch up with my spirit.

In the spirit, everything is already resolved and perfectly present. We come into this life with expectations of learning lessons with those spirits we travel along this path with; relatives, friends, enemies, teachers. But I think that our human mind is the slowest of the mind/body/spirit trinity to catch up with the idea that all is certainly well, no matter what happens. Nothing really is wrong in life. It is all intended for good and on the path to truth, no matter how horrific it seems in the moment.

You’ve heard there is a silver lining in everything. I would think that the person who created that quote probably was aware of this wonderful spiritual paradigm. Nothing stays. Everything passes.

I remember thinking about getting my first role in theater. Dreaming years about recording my first album. What it would be like to publishing my first book. Giving my first seminar. Teaching my first student. Hypnotizing someone. Those moments came and went so quickly I hardly remember them. The struggles getting there were long compared to the tiny, almost miniscule moments of glory when I actually got what I wanted.

So, I’ve realized that the only moments worth focusing on are the moments getting to the glory. Every struggle, every rejection, every wrong move that leads you to the right door is what makes the fabric of the glory boldly colorful, rich and textured. I feel as if I have lived five life times in this fifty years so far, especially since I have loved and lost love so many times. This makes life feel like it has been divided into many chapters, starts and ends. Friends come into your life and then they leave. Work takes on different challenges. People die, family and friends fall into trouble situations like drugs, incarceration, segregation. Been there, done that. This only leads to more chapters that open and close. Time passes and passes and passes.

Do we look back?

To tell you the truth, when I get stuck, it is always because I look back and wonder what I did wrong. I ask myself the age old question, “What could I have done to make things different?” But isn’t this just regret? It doesn’t help me learn a damn thing. It just keeps me in that Blip I was talking about—pausing in my painful humanness and not moving into spiritual light, which I know is available to me if I can just step out of my past and into the present with my SPIRIT.


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Momma Lost Her Credit Card and Her Cool

Today I had an interesting experience with my mother. My mom and I were grocery shopping at Kroger. When it came time to pay for her groceries, she started to freak out. I looked behind me to find a frazzled woman throwing things out of her pocketbook and hollering crazy sounds like a mad man: “I can’t find it. Where did I put it? I know it’s here. It has to be here? Where can it be?”

“What’s going on?” I asked her, trying to stay calm.

“I lost my banking card. How will I pay for the groceries? Oh my God, what if someone stole it and they used all my money!”

They were all valid reasons to be frightened in a world where identity theft for an elderly person is not only quite probable, but very likely. I took her hand and asked her to let me help her look.

We scoured the purse. I never knew there could be so many compartments with things wrapped in tissue in them—things I was afraid to unwrap. Then I found them—about 25 of my business cards. She had been collecting them from when I first started making the first design ten years ago. It was a like walking through time, sifting through them, looking for her banking card.

A sweet moment turned into a sad one, when I realized that her card was, indeed, nowhere in her purse or wallet. “I’ll pay for the groceries, Mom, and we’ll take care of checking other places when we get you home.”

She was breathing heavy. When your 80-year-old mother suffered a triple by-pass a year before, you start to worry about the times that make her weary and disoriented. I took her by the arm and led her to the car, trying to ease her mind. “I’m sure we’ll find it.”

When we got home, we looked in all the places it could have been, and still no card. My mother was becoming desperate. She was calling herself stupid now, which in my house is not something you do. There had been enough name calling my whole life for ten life times. We are all humans who make human mistakes.

I told her about the three times I left my credit card at a bar because the bartender had taken to start a tab. As I wasn’t used to that, I just left without it. (I left out the part that I was a little too tipsy to remember it.) But it was easily recovered, once I remember what I did with it.

So, I asked her where the last place she used the bankcard. It turned out she had used it at Walmart. She couldn’t get it to work in the machine and asked the cashier to help her. She must have forgotten to get the card back from him.

So, we called Walmart. Low and behold, the card was there, and everything is back to homeostasis.

I learned a lot about my mother today and about myself. I saw a time go by when my father or her stepfather would have degraded her and called her names for being so irresponsible….

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