While standing on line to get our marriage license at the Broward County Courthouse, my fiancé and I were met with some strange and judgmental gazes. David and I were the only gay couple sitting among the normal ones. The others were dressed in suits and getting married by the Justice of the Peace in the adjacent room. Each of the couple eyes spoke there truths:
“Your marriage isn’t real.” “Come on now… Really?” “God does not support this.”
Actually, the only person who seemed to care about our impending nuptials was the Haitian woman who waited on us to issue the license. all smiles, she seemed to be thrilled with this tall Irishman wanting to marry a silver fox!
What struck me as the most interesting sensation in the entire process is when I said to David: “Are you feeling emotional?”
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Continued from Above:
He answered: “I’m kind of not feeling anything. How about you?”
We both burst into laughter. We had waited for about 8 months for this moment, talked about it incessantly, and now we held the document that legally binds us together, but neither of us felt anything we could describe. The closest I could come to a description of what I saw on David’s face was a cross between terror and love. I wasn’t a bit thrown by the moment, because I had some strange feelings, as well. None of which I could say I recognized.
I guess my life was flashing before me. I saw all the times relationship didn’t work out. I saw the people who love me but couldn’t commit. I remembered the bad endings to the loving beginnings. Much passed before my eyes, until I engaged with the man standing before me, ready to commit his life to mine. I was no longer unsettled.
Even the bible says that (Proverbs 20: 6-7):
Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? 7 The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.
Actually, as I looked through the bible verses about marriage, I could only find scriptures about men and women. I believe it understandable, given the book that is supposed to be the most sacred in the Christian paradigm, why right winged Christians wouldn’t understand that all the references to men and women marrying is just a part of historical history. Just as people have tattoos now (The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT)), when in the early Christian days it was a sign of slavery. Women had to wear head coverings and sit on opposite sides as the men. Women had few choices in those days.
We are all willing to think, hey that was just the historical time for those reasons, but few Right-Winged Christians can abide by men and women marrying was also an historical clip in time. The only thing that doesn’t change is change, folks! If you are one of those people that can’t wrap your head around change, you may consider looking everywhere and try to name one things that is tangible that doesn’t change. You won’t find one.
Early Buddhism dealt with the problem of impermanence in a very rationale manner. This concept is known as anicca in Buddhism, according to which, impermanence is an undeniable and inescapable fact of human existence from which nothing that belongs to this earth is ever free.
Buddhism declares that there are five processes on which no human being has control and which none can ever change. These five processes are namely, the process of growing old, of not falling sick, of dying, of decay of things that are perishable and of the passing away of that which is liable to pass. Buddhism however suggests that escape from these is possible and it’s through Nirvana.
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You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!