Tag: Divorce

Commitment and Marriage: How Close Is Love to Terror?

While standing on line to get our marriage license at the Broward County Courthouse, my fiancé and I were met with some strange and judgmental gazes. David and I were the only gay couple sitting among the normal ones. The others were dressed in suits and getting married by the Justice of the Peace in the adjacent room. Each of the couple eyes spoke there truths:

“Your marriage isn’t real.” “Come on now… Really?” “God does not support this.”

Actually, the only person who seemed to care about our impending nuptials was the Haitian woman who waited on us to issue the license. all smiles, she seemed to be thrilled with this tall Irishman wanting to marry a silver fox!

What struck me as the most interesting sensation in the entire process is when I said to David: “Are you feeling emotional?”

Continue reading below.

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Continued from Above:

He answered: “I’m kind of not feeling anything. How about you?”

We both burst into laughter. We had waited for about 8 months for this moment, talked about it incessantly, and now we held the document that legally binds us together, but neither of us felt anything we could describe. The closest I could come to a description of what I saw on David’s face was a cross between terror and love. I wasn’t a bit thrown by the moment, because I had some strange feelings, as well. None of which I could say I recognized.

I guess my life was flashing before me. I saw all the times relationship didn’t work out. I saw the people who love me but couldn’t commit. I remembered the bad endings to the loving beginnings. Much passed before my eyes, until I engaged with the man standing before me, ready to commit his life to mine. I was no longer unsettled.

Even the bible says that (Proverbs 20: 6-7):

Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? 7 The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

Actually, as I looked through the bible verses about marriage, I could only find scriptures about men and women. I believe it understandable, given the book that is supposed to be the most sacred in the Christian paradigm, why right winged Christians wouldn’t understand that all the references to men and women marrying is just a part of historical history. Just as people have tattoos now (The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT)), when in the early Christian days it was a sign of slavery. Women had to wear head coverings and sit on opposite sides as the men. Women had few choices in those days.

We are all willing to think, hey that was just the historical time for those reasons, but few Right-Winged Christians can abide by men and women marrying was also an historical clip in time. The only thing that doesn’t change is change, folks! If you are one of those people that can’t wrap your head around change, you may consider looking everywhere and try to name one things that is tangible that doesn’t change. You won’t find one.

The Buddha says:

Early Buddhism dealt with the problem of impermanence in a very rationale manner. This concept is known as anicca in Buddhism, according to which, impermanence is an undeniable and inescapable fact of human existence from which nothing that belongs to this earth is ever free. 

Buddhism declares that there are five processes on which no human being has control and which none can ever change. These five processes are namely, the process of growing old, of not falling sick, of dying, of decay of things that are perishable and of the passing away of that which is liable to pass. Buddhism however suggests that escape from these is possible and it’s through Nirvana.

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If you buy a copy of my book: FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU and send me the receipt, I will send you

A FREE HYPONSIS MP3 TO HELP YOU DURING TIMES OF PAIN. SEND THE RECEIPT TO bosebastian5@gmail.com and I’ll send the Mp3 within the week, I promise.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

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Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

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People Movin’ Out, People Movin’ In! #friendship #spiritualadvice #personalpower #newthought

Nothing makes me reflect on my life more than a death. Second to that, which is similar to death, a dear friend departing my life for no apparent reason.

After a breakup with my last partner, I haven’t seen him or heard from him for 2-3 years. Yesterday, a childhood friend who lived on the same street as me growing up in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, posted a picture on Facebook of her and her husband having dinner with her 25-year old son, daughter-in-law (two people I used to sing with in a band), and my ex holding hands with one of my first good friends in Nashville. It was not just a small picture; it was a huge picture that filled a third of my screen.

Double-take. What? How can this be?

I spent half of the morning trying to figure out how that picture came to be and how someone from my childhood could be that close to my ex in a picture! Honestly, I took the picture to my mother and sister and showed them the photo. They, too, were astonished. “What?” we all clamored.

My friend from childhood finally responded to an urgent email. It turns out that her daughter-in-law met my ex briefly through me. But my childhood friend had no idea how my ex and her family all became such good friends. I supposed I may never know. I’m okay with that. I mean, what business is it of mine?

I haven’t even thought about my ex for a couple of years, after he told me in the shower on Valentine’s day that he didn’t know if I was the right person for him and was moving out the next day. After that incident, I thought, he didn’t deserve my time or any space in my mind.

That evening, as I was discussing the day’s events with my prayer partner, we talked about what metaphor this event might be showing me. We decided that this picture was just a circumstance, perhaps a test to get my attention off of what was important to my life. The only person who could breathe life into any circumstance for me is actually ME. So, if I let go of making something of the picture, the circumstance would have no life. Also, if I need to know more, I will certainly know more.

I think about friendships and how they come and go quite so often. I am intrigued by the intricate weave of love and dissent that happens in life that pulls us in and then literally removes us from each other’s lives. We only find out later that all happened for a divine reason. Who is the master of this Divine Puppet Act? Are we socially responsible for what happens in the ether that has every meeting of the minds perfectly defined so that all will make sense?

I know this with certainty: In my life I have seen many people come and go. One time I had a best friend not return my calls for a long time. His wife told me that he didn’t want to speak with me. He never responded to my letters I wrote (1990s). But, later, after my best friend divorced his wife and had raised four children, I discover from Facebook again (thank-you Facebook) out that my friend’s wife had devised the entire ordeal. She intercepted my phone calls and my mail. He thought I simply gave up on our friendship.

After 20 years we are back to being good friends again. I don’t know if anything will make up for those lost years, but embracing him again after so many years felt like a divine relief. Why did this happen? Why was I supposed to lose my best and dearest friend for so long?

These kinds of things have happened over and over again to me. Most times, now, I simply shrug my shoulders and think, I’ll know when I know. We simply have to let the universe rotate crops, as it were.

We only have room for so many people in our lives. Perhaps, we have much more to understand, learn and accomplish than we think. It takes a village, sometimes, to learn a lesson. I think, in my case with friendships, it has taken three villages, a small city, and 10,000 friendships.

****

Screen Shot 2016-05-11 at 10.04.32 AMMy new book is coming out in just one month: “Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind. If you want to be the first to read this story, sign up for the launch mailing list at mailto:BoSebastian5@gmail.com.

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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Why Do We Keep Making the Same Mistakes in Relationships? #relationshipadvice #psychology #spiritualadvice #lifecoach

Nothing feels more like a failure as when you set out to make a correct, well-thought-out decision. You decide on your intent and a pragmatic schedule of how, when, and where you will embark on your new idea. You even meditate about it, feeling as if you have done your best to decrease the likelihood of failure by taking it to prayer. Yet, often you sit in the same cesspool of tears wondering how you could have made the same exact mistake again—different characters, same plot, new relationship!

Everyday, you laugh at your decreasing desire to even try in relationship. Even opening your heart to one feel as if it takes too much energy. You have found amazing people with hearts of gold, and yet something, somehow, takes the relationship somewhere other than where you desire. You pray and treat for it and believe with all of your heart, defying all of your fear of the anxiety of the past? Yes, yes, and yes again.

Once again, though, you find yourself standing at the grave of yet another relationship that has morphed into a beautiful friendship, but not the intimate one you prayed for. What is left to do but release and let go?

This morning, as I meditated, I used a mantra that a psychologist and minister gave me two years ago:

“Relationship is what it is, not what I make of it.”

Personally, I have NOT lost hope that a loving, long-abiding, intimate relationship could happen for me. How and from where, I have no idea. I simply know this much:

  1. I am open to it.
  2. When I see it, I will know the right questions to ask so that I won’t make the same mistakes again.
  3. I will follow the path to intimacy slowly, despite any sexual desire.
  4. I will become friends and prayer partners before I miss the opportunity, and the relationship flows into a dream space of loving intimacy that seems to block out all sense.

Relationship is, at best, the hardest human conundrum. The reason this is so is because it takes more than just 100% of your work. It relies on 100% of someone else’s work, which you cannot—even if you try—control. If you are comfortable with the idea that you must control every part of your life, the likelihood of right relationship happening for you is probably not going to happen very soon. My best friends and family who are in relationship all suffer from the same problems as single people do, interestingly enough, loneliness, anger, desperation, and intimacy issues, as well.

No one person can solve your intimate problems. You must get comfortable with yourself, love spending time with you, and cherish and honor the peace that “no relationship” offers at this point in your life. Peace over drama wins every time.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in May or June of 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.cropped:Bo's book cover_USA Version_Compressed

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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