Tag: Ego

EGO: uNbAlAnCeD or Balanced #egobalancing #spirituality #spiritualadvice #healthyego

I was once engaged to a woman. Yes, it’s true. She is a lovely lady who has gone on to become a prominent psychologist (probably from all of the growth she went through trying to marry me!). I tell you this story, because we were in counseling together to try to figure out our issues before the big day, when the psychologist replied to my fiancée with these words: “I don’t think Bo is demanding. I think he just has a healthy ego!”

I will never forget the look on my fiancée’s face. I think she wanted to punch the counselor. Nonetheless, it has been many years since that day, and I am still trying to find the answers for attaining a balanced and healthy ego.

First, in my world of spirituality without borders, the word Ego has come to be a negative word that usually means that part of our humanness that tends to get in the way of our spirituality. It is the illusion of individuality that creates the torment in our souls. At least, this is how it has been described to me over the past 20 years or so in metaphysics.

However, my eyes were wide open a few days ago when the editor of my new book—Your New Story, Your New Life—said to me: “Why do you keep saying the Ego is bad?” (ps. the book will be out soon. You’ll know it’s out when you hear the cries of a man giving birth!)

To that, I looked up the definition of ego in the dictionary. To my wonder I saw: a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.

I realized, in that moment, that I had been imposing a spiritual definition on this word without even knowing it. So, I’ve gone back into my book and rearranged the word with two separate words: balanced and unbalanced ego.

Balanced Ego

When our spirits are given a human body in birth, immediately our experience is one of individuality. We are like snowflakes. No one has the same DNA or fingerprints. We are born with, develop unique talents, and are drawn to specific food, hobbies, and people. Absolutely no one understands why each individual does so with such immediacy and direction. None of these attributes are negative. They may be in our DNA. They may be instinctual. They may be inherited. In fact, in developing our egos, we seek to hone these special features to become the most authentic people we can be. Also, as co-creators on earth, our ego minds are the actual consciousness that turns dreams into reality. We are, indeed, powerful egos.

Unbalanced Ego

As we took form and developed individuality, perhaps, we had people in our past who shaped our ideas of the Ego by imposing their beliefs and structure on our infant minds. This could be true with abuse, sexual misconduct, harsh living situations, and many other contributing factors to the young mind. The fact is, though, the ego can be shaped and formed to evolve into something other than wonderful. It can become a Hitler or a terrorist.

If one of your parents was a narcissist, your ego may have become unbalanced by being the co-narcissist in the relationship. This wasn’t your fault. You simply had to survive. If you were abused, you protected yourself in whatever way you could. If this happened, again, not your fault. However, in the process, the ego becomes unbalanced, unhealthy. It does so by superimposing the past events on the present moment. In other words, when you have a great evening with a friend, you may still feel empty and sad inside because of an unhealthy ego. In the worst case scenarios, egos move toward more and more unhealthy behavior and very likely seek to destruct.

The goal, however, is to balance the unhealthy parts of the ego by finding that observer self, I so often talk about. To get healthy, to find definition, to understand yourself and your reactions, you have to have a place where you can step apart from the situation and observe yourself without judgment. In so doing, we begin to find our triggers, those places that push us to negative behavior. When we find these triggers, we must also acquire help to unhook from them. This may take finding a therapist, a life coach, going to hypnosis, or finding a modality like breath work or yoga to inhibit the negative behavior.

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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 8.42.10 AM

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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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When You See Your Ego #becomingconscious #whatstrending #Eckharttolle #spiritualliving

Every morning, as we get ready for our day, after a shower, while we brush our teeth, we inevitably encounter a mirror. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a spiritual being living in a human body? Do you see all of your physical flaws? Do you wish you were someone else—more handsome, prettier, having less gray hair, clearer skin, or a smaller nose? Our Ego Self is not too difficult to miss! It’s everywhere present. But, perhaps, what you think is your ego, really is just your human body.

We are Spirit Beings living in a human body, but we also have an ego, which differentiates each individual from everyone else in the world. This much of the definition isn’t a bad thing at all. To be authentic and an individual means following the deepest feelings of my soul, which often makes me APPEAR different than others.

However, egocentricity would seek to take that difference and separate you even farther from others; perhaps making you the only correct one, the only one wearing the right clothes, the one doing the work project as intended, or the perfect spouse acting correctly in a relationship. When you see your actions separating you, you begin to witness the ego in action in a negative way! What do you do when you experience your ego causing separation?

The ego’s job is to create separation. You are individualized and see yourself as separate because of the ego. In the eyes of Spirit, we are all one and have always been. So, to witness the ego creating egocentricity is to simply witness a part of you doing something it is lead to do. For example: We know that when young children are first given a toy, they don’t do anything unexpected. They love it, play with it, present it to everyone who comes in the room. But, if you put another child in the room and ask that same child to share the toy, watch what happens? The initial reaction is tears. Sharing is a learned behavior. A baby is mostly ego. It doesn’t learn to be a spiritual being and have compassion and share until it becomes more conscious. Right?

So, witnessing your own ego is like watching that baby cry after you force it to share with the another child. Your own golden spirit must act like the adult in this scenario and rise up above your ego self and direct your ego to do the right thing. In other words, you have at least two, if not three, voices in your head telling you what to do: 1.) definitely your ego 2.) your highest consciousness or spiritual self; and 3.) quite possibly your physical body also has a voice operating as hunger, thirst, aches and pains, etc.

Your job as a spiritually evolved human being is to be able to distinguish which voice is operating. The best way to do this is to imagine that your spiritual voice or your highest, most evolved consciousness is the parent or leader of the pack. But, just as a three dogs put together in the same room, each voice will vie for the leadership position, until both of the others acquiesce. Usually the one with the most aggressive behavior wins out. This should not be the case with your spiritual self.

You must know that you ARE a Spirit in an ego-driven, human body. When you recognize WHO you are, there is no need to vie for a position of authority. Just like our metaphor about the parent and child with the toy, if the parent acts like a parent, the child learns the lesson. If the baby gets away with the tantrum, the ego wins!

The body, your habits, your bad temper, and your desire to have more than your neighbor all become obvious ways that the ego attempts to take control or dominate your existence. Your only choice as a spiritually evolved individual is to take back control by doing the right thing—taking the spiritual action needed to take back control, which is inherently your deepest sense of motivation.

So, when you see your ego, understand that to see something, you must be separate from it. In that moment, you are, also, realizing that the one SEEING is the SPIRIT in you. The action is merely the ego. Seeing your ego means that your Spirit has its spiritual eyes open! At this point, you do have a choice: 1.) Take control of the ego and do the right thing; or 2.) give the toy back to the crying baby and never learn your spiritual lesson.

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Today’s featured book is “Finding Authentic You.” It’s a book birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll love the 365 daily readings that will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, “God Speaks” is a book I channeled about 10 years ago. Sometimes, even when I reread the book I’m amazed at how much wisdom Spirit poured through my human fingers. If you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 Hummingbird closeup

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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Releasing Control, Gaining Pleasure #releasingcontrol #ego #Self #spiritualadvice

My entire life people have always pegged me for a Virgo, because they said I was very controlling. Everything in my life had its place. On the upside, I always had a list of things to do, each item on my list had a scheduled time to be completed, and I never was late. On the downside, life is too damn exciting to be this regimented. Although, in one lifetime, I have accomplished more than most people do in ten, I wonder if I’ve missed out on the subtle moments that people have when they sit calmly allowing life and the universe to contribute its gentle nudges to press us forward.

I have a particular friend who has been encouraging me to let go and simply be in times that we are together. Of course, instead of just adhering to his advice, I thought, okay, I’ll use this premise as a spiritual lesson!

However, what began as a trial lesson turned into a vast array excitement, and surprising moments of pleasure and delight. I’m finding pieces of myself I didn’t know were present, because I had locked them up with all of the unorganized and subtle thoughts in my mind. As I let my Virgo go, slowly, I notice that each individual part of me has a plethora of colors. I’m not just sitting on the cusp of Virgo or Libra, quiet or loud, and vivacious or shy. I am all of the shades of these colors, as well.

For me, I realized that as a child, in order to accomplish my goals, I set aside the submissive, shy child to step forward and lead with my stronger character—the one I taught myself to be to survive. As I’m safe now, in the arms of my higher Self, I can now let out the guy who has become willing to let others lead. I realize with this change that I get to let go of lots of responsibility, as well. This is certainly an upside for someone who carries most of the troubles of the world, his family, and his work on his shoulders.

So, here’s to letting go!

Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior CoverBilly Ray's Secret Cover

Today’s featured book is for gay men and women who have been ostracized from traditional religion. The book holds keys to creating a positive spiritual outlook, using what resonates with you. It’s a book birthed from own spiritual growth as a gay man. I guarantee you’ll love the 365 daily readings that will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

Beautiful Bird 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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