Tag: Failure

Bringing Home the Gold #jimmyfallon #sochiolympics

In the current Sochi Olympics, I wonder what causes more fear and tumbles: coming back to defend your title, or having won a recent world championship? I have seen so many athletes crumble during the pressure of both. I can’t imagine how bad that feels for a competitor to come in 10th after winning the gold in the past.

For whatever reason and no matter what happens, lose or win, at the end of the day, we all get to see the ever-famous “medal count” board. Last night, United States was ahead in total medals. Why, exactly, does that make me feel good?

I want the best to win, but my sincerest thoughts say, if the U.S. isn’t in contention, I don’t want to watch the sport. What a ridiculous feeling! I can’t seem to justify it in my own mind. With my personality, I’m more inclined to be hoping Jimmy Fallon, who has won TV’s gold medal show, has a long go of it on The Tonight Show than wish a Russian competitor fall in the free skate so that a U.S. skater can win. Where is the justification for my kind of Olympic belief? I don’t like myself when I feel this way.

I guess, when all is said and done, I love my America! Honoring your nation with hope is a good thing. I can see the proud faces of the men and women bringing home gold medals. The achievement wasn’t just for themselves. They won for their country too. The “National Anthem” plays as the American flag flies high. The winners mouth the words. The tender moment often brings tears to my eyes and sometimes laughter when they forget the words.

I often wonder why the television station spends so much time showing us the biographies of the people competing, only to show a great deal less of the actual competition. When I’m truly into a sport, this usually pisses me off. But, again, at the end of the day, once I’ve heard the story of all the trials it took to overcome adversity to get to the Olympics, I was glad I watched the bios, especially if the person in the biography wins the medal.

Bringing home the gold holds a great place in all of our hearts. But can we also find it in our hearts to honor those who simply made it to the Olympics and are not the stars? Again, if you were watching Jimmy Fallon this premiere week, and he featured all of the Olympic losers, would you tune in? I’m not sure if I would. But, I bet the stories of lives changing and worlds turned upside down as a result of losing make for a much more realistic view of life.

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On a separate note, I hope you get a chance to enjoy my new book, “Finding Authentic You.” There are 365 daily spirit-mind-body discoveries. You can now find it on Amazon and Amazon Kindle. Below are the links. If you’re like to follow along with a group, there is also an online Year to Clear Challenge described below.

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
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Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

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Ashes to Ashes—We all Fall Down

I’m not one to force anyone into a new paradigm of thinking. But it doesn’t take a professor of psychology to know that all of us fall short of our expectations sometimes in life. If you can agree with that assumption, then you will automatically release yourself from loads of self-condemnation.

Many clients walk through my doors with the idea that somehow all of their self-deprecating thoughts can be vanquished with one hypnosis or life coaching session. First of all, no thoughts can be annihilated from your mind. Thoughts can be changed. The amount of negative output can vary greatly. But attachment-causing, negative behavior supersedes the functioning brain. Most times, we aren’t even aware of our impulsive behavior until after it has caught us off guard.

This is the reason I speak so much about learning to become the observer of the mind and body. From the perspective of the observer, you can notice small behavior changes, such as your eye twitches when you are becoming anxious. Perhaps, this twitch can be a trigger for you to do to a self-hypnosis or NLP or EMDR treatment on yourself that you have learned in a session. Maybe, as a result of catching the behavior before it manifested into full-blown anxiety, you have saved yourself from losing a day of depression or self-deprecating thinking.

I have a problem with rejection. If you had a mother who left you at a young age with an alcoholic father, you probably would have a strong problem with anxious attachment, as I do. I don’t blame my mother for her behavior. In fact, I spend as much time as I can letting her help me heal from the separation anxiety. Fortunately, I have a mother who is willing to restore the patterns that were lost during childhood.

So, knowing my problem with rejection exists, I developed a self-hypnosis trigger with an affirmation that says, “Direction, not rejection!”

When I feel a strong sensation in my stomach that someone is going to leave my life because of an action or voicing a strong opinion, I hit the trigger hard with my affirmation and self-hypnosis techniques. I have found that the more I commit to changing the systemic problem of rejection in my mind, the easier it becomes every time I decide to release from the old behavior.

I may never be completely emptied of this trigger response, but I do have every tool to help my life feel more normal and enter into a secure relationship safely. Your life can also be eased into change if you have a partner or spouse who is willing to be a mirror for you and your issues. If that partner will let you speak honestly about what comes up when these triggers are touched, then you will safely retreat from them.

I feel extremely fortunate to have one of the most compassionate, secure partners I have ever met. There is never a time when I have had an issue when he hasn’t been completely understanding and loving. If a time does come up in the future when he can’t be compassionate, I will know that we have found an issue to work on for him. I, too, will then be willing to be compassionate and loving in the wake of his discovery.

Relationships are a day-to-day understanding of one pertinent thought—some day in the future, one of you will leave the relationship either in death or in need of another relationship. With that being said, acting as a realist and not a pessimist, the best way to keep a relationship healthy is to live it everyday to the fullest extent.

If you have found stagnancy in your relationship, first, understand the above premise. Make sure you are committed to making the paradigm shift needed to bring back intimacy into your relationship. Then approach your partner with honesty and authenticity. If you are afraid that he or she will not be on board, you aren’t in a secure relationship anyway. You might as well know the facts, so that you can move on. Otherwise, your secure partner should be ready and able to help you both get back on track.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. If you are looking to enter the RSS or Atom Feed, you have to go to the home page of the blog to get there. Also, I write this Blog as a part of Finding Authentic You Ministries. If you would like to send an offering or a tithe, your donation would greatly be appreciated: 5001 Maywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37211.

And I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

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Failure Is an Ugly Word

Honestly, I never thought as myself as someone who failed. I have had some nonstarters, but have created nothing that really was a total flop. I have had a few bad reviews, but nothing that would devastate a career. Today, I just felt like a total failure with this diet. I caved—truly caved.

Remember those cookies I was telling you about that I had saved for when I hit my goal? Well, when I went to throw them away, because that is what I would advise any person to do on a diet, I checked to see if anyone was looking and I ate one—frozen. Yes, frozen. It was as hard as a brick and as sweet as heaven itself. I wouldn’t even know if a piece of a tooth went down with the golden delicious taste of brown sugar and chocolate.

Then I found myself putting the bag of cookies back in the freezer instead of in the waste paper basket where they belonged. (Damn you, Jennifer Nelson, for making such amazing oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies.) They were like cocaine. Once I ate one, I went back for two, then three. I finally stopped at five. I’m amazed I didn’t chip a tooth. I’m now a little nauseous and I’m ready for bed—the worst time to be full and sugar buzzed. OY VEY!

This day started off way too early with me taking my car in to get the transmission fixed. A friend had to stay overnight to drive me to the service center. I drank some caffeinated tea and was sorry for it the entire day. I never realized what a diuretic tea could be. I was in the bathroom almost every thirty minutes. I even had to excuse myself in the middle of sessions, which is not like me at all.

Everything went well, even with exercise until dinner, when I had to pick up my car and it wasn’t ready. The part the service station had ordered for my car was broken. I had to rearrange my schedule and get a loaner car for Wednesday. I guess something as menial as a car not being fixed can put you over the dietetic edge.

I used the anxiousness about the car for an excuse to eat and dove into dinner like a man who hadn’t been fed in two days. Then after dinner I didn’t stop eating until 10 pm. Disappointment doesn’t begin to let you know how I feel about my progress.

Two weeks to lose the weight, my ass. I think this may take much longer. I do know this. After today I’m going to stop writing about my “presumed progress” every day. I figure it’s getting boring and unless there is something wonderful to tell—a great insight into dieting or a breakthrough in my own resistance to weight loss, I’ll stick to what I’m good at—spiritual guidance.

It’s true to be a good coach, you don’t actually have to be in the sport. I’m good at helping people lose weight. I have helped 1000s of people get to their goals. My brother-in-law is a tremendous football coach. I can’t imagine that he could get his body around the track once. There are many older ballet coaches who are considered the best in the world, but could never dance again in their lives. The list of coaches who are great at teaching but not so good at doing their craft can go on forever. I guess, for now, I fit in to the latter.

I do know this: I’ll keep trying. I’m not a quitter. But I may fall a few more times before I actually make some more progress. Upward and onward.

Weight Gain: loss of .2 pounds… As I said before, there is no rhyme or reason. I would have to venture to guess it was the water loss from yesterday. I’m back to a homeostatic thought. Maybe the body just has to get used to a 5 lb. loss before it loses more. I’m sticking with that conclusion.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I write this Blog as a part of Finding Authentic You Ministries. If you would like to send an offering or a tithe, your donation would greatly be appreciated: 5001 Maywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37211.

And I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

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