Tag: friendships

Life on Tilt—Balancing Work with Play

Have you ever had one of those moments in time when life and work seemed to stand still. I was sick with the flu, which didn’t help. The normal phone calls, auditions, referrals were not coming as they usually do. I spent most of the week quiet. This wasn’t a terrible place to be, since my body obviously needed some rest. It almost was as if the universal powers that be made me rest, because I wasn’t taking time on my own.

This week, however, I haven’t stopped. I have gotten job offers, have had 2-3 auditions each day, many clients, and when I come home in the evenings I want to go directly to sleep. Obviously, I must find some kind of balance here.

How do you balance the great prospects of today with the much-needed respite from all of the day’s frenetic energy?

WebMD suggests that we:

  1. Build downtime into your schedule
  2. Drop activities that zap your energy
  3. Rethink your errands
  4. Get moving
  5. Remember that a little relaxation goes a long way!

When I moved to Fort Lauderdale, Florida from Nashville, Tennessee a quick 2 1/2 years ago, my goals was to change my life…

Continue reading below.


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Continued from above:

I wanted to start from the beginning, do what was on my bucket list without excuses, and eradicate all of the negativity from my life, including friends who zapped my energy.

I also decided that I would really vet new friends before I invited them into my life for the long haul. I can honestly say that I have only made a couple of good friends since I’ve been here. A few people seemed to be moving in the right direction of being very important in my life, but just as I began to acquiesce into the friendship, some telling event happened and I simply had to release what wasn’t mine to begin with. This isn’t a bad place to be with friendships, because the people who we draw closest into our lives need to:

  • Upbraid us
  • Give us space to grow without offering too many opinions;
  • Add to our life, not subtract by leaching vital energy;
  • Not be afraid to be intimate and honest with feelings; and
  • Simply be there when you need each other.


The friendship side of the revamping my life has been the most successful. I spend much more time by myself, with family, and with the closest person of all—my fiancé.

Since I’m not exactly convinced at what I want to focus on in the Work Arena, work has become a hodgepodge of too many doors opening at the same time, which can make anyone crazy.

I have acquired a couple of great acting agents. Since that time, I had committed to taking every audition offered to me. I realize now that I may need to cut back from all of the perceived opportunity and spend a little more time quiet about what is the most appropriate place for me to be everyday.

In my belief system about the universe, if something—anything—stands in the way of your ultimate purpose on this earth, it will be gone before you can say WAIT A MINUTE!

This happened to me recently with my church job. I was simply gave it too much time, and it zapped me of vital energy. At the same time it offered the premise of doing something wonderful for caring and loving friends, it also took 2/3rds of my work time. In hindsight, I realize that I didn’t fully look at the entire picture; otherwise I would have left the position some time ago or reorganized the job to suit me, not the other way around.

We have to remember in our lives that we are at the helm of the ship—steering our lives. If you don’t like something that is happening in your life, who else but you can make the change? You have to deliberately take time to rest and meditate on what honors you and benefits your life in a prosperous way. If something doesn’t do one of those two things, it needs to be reconsidered.

This week, take a look at all you do in your life and make some strong decisions about how you will proceed to next week. If you are exhausted all of the time, you need to rethink about your priorities. Something has to change or you will never be happy.

Make a list of what you do. Start from there. Decide what should take priority. If your health is not at the top of the list, you need to reorganize immediately!


You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!


Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]


Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!





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Merging Business with Successful Relationships #relationshipadvice #businessandpleasure #drphil #homebusinesses #neurium

Dr. Phils says, “Interpersonal conflict often arises when one of two parties doesn’t feel valued, appreciated or respected.” I believe this can be the case when business mixes with pleasure in any kind of relationship, especially intimate ones and friendships.

I once was married to a man for eight years who worked from home as an artist, while I worked from home, as well. I took on the responsibility of being his art manager, as he was a great painter, but not such a good market manager. Suddenly, lines began to blur and our relationship was also a business. Looking back, I’m not sure if that was such a good idea to help him, but you do what you need to do to make relationships work. He, also, wasn’t so great at sharing responsibilities in the house. In many ways marriage can be like dealing with a business, especially where money is concerned. So, when one person does all the managing work such as cleaning, paying the bills and cooking, I guarantee that person will feel resentful and unheard.

In interpersonal friendships, lines blur when we invite friends into business situations. A good example of this is when a great friend asks you to take part in a home business adventures such as Amway, Avon, Travel International, Mary Kay, Neurium, energy drinks, telephone long distance plans, you name it. I think I’ve had an experience with a friend asking me to join all of the above. I, inevitably, have to stop a friend now in her tracks and say, “I have been down this road with a friend, and I really don’t want this to mess up our relationship. But, I can’t do this for you!”

With some really good friends, this was difficult. When up-line sponsors teach down-line sellers to get new people to buy into the business, they teach them business tricks. One of these tricks is to mention you have an “opportunity” you want to share, but not mention the name of the business. However, these tricks feel deceptive to friends when placed in situations that look as if they need reciprocity. For instance, a friend invites you to dinner. He pays. Then, mid-meal, he starts sharing about his new business venture that has made so many people money. You suddenly feel as if you must return the favor of dinner for listening to the speal, much like going on a “free” vacation, only to get roped into contracting for a vacation week to the Bahamas once a year.

Honestly, the hardest part of being in self-made business is having to place your friends in the position of helping you get your business or your art into the hands of people who will pay the bills. It’s just good marketing to start with the people who love and support you most to help spread the good news of your business. It’s sometimes demeaning and often brings self-loathing, though, to the business owner. I have known of many clients who have come to me with a loss of self-esteem because of so many refusals in a sales position, especially among friends and family. Salesmen have to have thick skin, but you don’t imagine that having a home business would require that same cavalier attitude.

I have always hated to market myself. But, I learned that if I was going to be in business for myself, then it was eminent that I get over the marketing part. Some friends walk away and feel offended when I talk about hypnosis or life coaching. Others asks and stay around, because they understand and want to support me. Anyone’s hope is that no one walks away when, for instance, you ask any them to take a look at your new book. You have spent almost three long years creating 650 pages of so much needed advice about relationships, spirituality, and health. At this point, you would give it away, if you could. But you have bills to pay too. So, the expectation is that people who love you will buy it, whether they will read it or not. I know, because I have a bookshelf and a drawer of music and literature I’ve bought and never used. Some I have tried. Others, I simply bought knowing I would never partake because of style or genre.

So, I’ve said all this to introduce you to that new book below, the one I shared about above, so useful to anyone on a journey for to a better you!
Link to Book

Book Cover - Full Size

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

I have to be honest with you. I used that age-old marketing scheme, just now, to make my point. So, how do you feel now that I have shared my business venture with you? Do you feel unscathed and happy to help? Or, do you feel as if you have been fooled into buying something you really don’t want or have the money for? The hope of any friend, is that you will help. No one wants to bother you and force you into anything. But with friendship, expectation follows, just the same as with your intimate partner not participating in something important to you.

My mom bought my book yesterday. She barely has the money for her medicine every month. But she insisted. She wanted to help me get the sales going. You don’t know how much that meant to me, because most people believe that others will help and simply move on from the situation without reaching out to help a friend make something big happen.

When a product goes viral like Taylor Swift or Topsy Turvy, usually, the reason is that more than a few friends realized that their friend’s product was awesome, so they shared it with other friends. Yes, the product must be wonderful and useful for this to happen. But the concept is the same for anything, which is why I have a load of unread book and unused CDs from friends who reached out for help.

Help a friend today realize his or her dream. You’ll feel better about creating your own dream as you do, I assure you.
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or BoSebastian.com Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

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With Whom Do You Keep Company – On Friendships

With Whom Do You Keep Company?

Have you ever been in someone’s company that just made you feel antsy and uncomfortable? Or have you ever had a friend with whom you were never able to let your guard down?

I postulate that there may be a subconscious barrier between you and that person that is influencing your physical body. What you may feel is underlying fear for the person. What your body may be experiencing is a fight or flight impulse, which produces adrenaline and cortisol, the hormones that protect us from harm.

Now, why would a friend or someone you barely know create such a negative response in your body? That is the big question.

(My dear friend Dr. Susan Sinclair and I were having a deep conversation, from which this blog was written. )

Susan started the conversation by telling me that she noticed that when she met gay people that they often had a sense of strong boundaries, almost fear, until she let them know that she was gay-friendly. After which, they were as congenial as they could be. This was the fodder for much of our conversation.

I shared a story… I remember a time when I had a student who studied voice with me for about three years. She would hug me and tell me she loved me. We talked and cut up like we were best friends. The fact is, I truly thought she was a good friend. One day, a couple years after she quit vocal lessons, I was at a restaurant with my partner waiting for a table with a group of friends. She, too, was waiting with her husband for a table. I introduced my partner to her, before he excused himself to go to the restroom.

As soon as my partner left me alone with her, the young woman told me that she “loved me,” but thought I was going to go to hell for being gay and that she thought it was her responsibility to tell me so—IN THE BAR OF THE RESTAURANT HOLDING A APPLETINI.

To tell you the truth, I can’t remember exactly how I responded, but incredulous was one of the many bad feelings. I simply couldn’t believe that someone would lay that on me in a restaurant, and that someone I knew and cut up with about men for three years would say that to a friend, even if she believed it to be true. But there I was left with a cut in my heart about four inches deep, bloodied and not so ready for dinner.

I noticed that, ever since that moment, every time a person makes a point of telling me that he or she is a Christian, I take two steps back and one to the right, even though I, too, am a Christian. It’s just that I don’t know what kind of Christian that person is or what kind of artillery he or she might be hiding in their arsenal of so-called prayerful deeds. So, I get that feeling of anxiety and stress that you get when you are uncomfortable with someone—anxious—until I know better. That experience that I shared had happened to me not once, but about ten times.

So, what kind of responsibility do we have as compassionate beings when we get around someone who is of a different ilk, color, political party, religion, or sexual preference than we, to let them know that we are okay with whomever they choose to be—without judgment?

Can we create a sign or a handshake that signifies we are cool and down with it when we meet? Can we wear a pin or a purple rubber band?

Or should we just politely work into the conversation that we are not the type of person that judges anything or anybody? That might help. I know it would make me feel more comfortable.

Think about it: I’m a gay man, Christian, spiritual, democratic, Italian, Yogi, I guess kind of “not so tough,” soft spoken, brittle to the bone and easily bruised… I could be targeted in so many ways. It’s a wonder I’m not walking around in a suit of armor. And there are plenty of people who are wearing their addiction, minority, political proclivity, and sexual preference on their head like a hat made of a cornucopia of fruit.

What of them? Can you imagine some of their fear?

In a day when we have the opportunity to be more compassionate than we have ever been before, let us take note that if we want people to be comfortable around us, it may be our responsibility to help them see we aren’t judging them in any way. If you notice that someone around you is feeling a little anxious, it might just be that they don’t know where you stand with who they are sexually, politically, ethnically, etc. This is your cue to let them know that you are a nonjudgmental human being ready to accept them for exactly who they choose to be or were created to be.

The conversation with my friend Susan turned out to be a great eye-opener for me. I realized that it might be my individual, as well, to discover what scares me about specific kinds of people, and not clump them all together. I should give each person a chance to be an individual with his or her own perspective without me judging them, as well.

I do know, however, that there are specific kinds of people and judgments that I do not want in my life ever again. And I will make laws against letting people in my life who choose to judge me or have the audacity to tell me or the world what God thinks of me—his own creation.

I believe we should all make these laws. And we should ban together against those who choose to take away our God-given rights to be individuals. We would all be more at peace and our hearts would be still and know that love conquers all negativity.

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