Tag: gay dating

A Relationship to “Close This Account!” #datingadvice #realtionshipadvie #spiritualadvice #gaymarriage

I was pleasantly surprised when I came across an autobiography of a man on Match.com that said, “I’m looking for a man to make me close this account forever!” This was the delight of my morning, because his words so perfectly described what most of us desire. (I’m not talking to the people who love being single and enjoy having a different person every week.) This message goes out to the vast majority of people, straight and gay, who really desire to have a lasting relationship—one that will last through the challenges of time.

If you are on the hunt for that ideal person, I guarantee you will find it a challenge. Most people join sites like Match.com and have to go through 50 dates to find just one that is worth going out with a second time. For me, I have found people who are nice, people I’m attracted to, but none seem to be in the same place about relationship as I am. Most have an unrealistic view of what relationship is because of a recent divorce, a bad break-up, or they simply have too many attachment issues. The trick to finding that one perfect mate is… oh, wait, I don’t know what that is, because I haven’t found it yet!

Well, I certainly know what NOT to do and what signs to look for to make sure that your budding relationship will actually eventually bloom.

  1. If your date says you are the first person he has dated or kissed in a long period of time, run!
  2. If your date tries something strange sexually the first time you have sex, run!
  3. If your date describes some odd fantasy that sounds a little too kinky for your tastes, run. He or she will probably opt out of love to get satisfy that fantasy, eventually. (This happened to me after 2 years of bliss and happiness.)
  4. If someone is married and in the stages of separating or getting a divorce, run. I know it’s tempting, because he or she is usually the type of person that is stable and securely attached. However, this person is in a stage of his/her life that is apt to want to look around, first, before settling down again. I call this the “Wild Oats” season. (This just happened to me, recently, after long discussions about commitment and what we wanted. After opening his heart to love, he realized he hadn’t had enough opportunities to date before settling down. This was soon after he met some hot dude at the gym who was in hot pursuit of him.)
  5. If your date gets angry easily, run.
  6. If your date cannot treat strangers nicely, he’s apt to treat you poorly eventually.
  7. Lastly, if you are not on the same page, spiritually, you probably shouldn’t run, but a slow walk away would be a safer bet. I have many friends who have had fairly good relationships without the spiritual component. But the happiest couples are those who share the deepest part of their spiritual heart. I know, because I’ve been there, that our anxiousness can cause us to pursue relationships outside of our spiritual desire. However, I’ve decided, I’m willing to wait this time.

As most of my friends who are in relationships say, “When you are not looking, you’ll find him or her!” However, if you’re a hermit, sitting alone every night, you’ll probably not find a date either. Finding someone takes action! Even if that action is simply pursuing your own interests to be social in groups such as Meetup.com, you’re more likely to meet that person with the same likes and dislikes.

Your Gay Friend's Cover art

Today’s featured book is “You’re Gay Friend’s Guide to Understanding Men.” This was a bestseller on the NY Times list three years ago. It’s a more spiritual approach for finding that right relationship! Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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 I'm Bored

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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Prospects and Expectation #TheNOW #expectation #relationshipadvice #EckhartTolle

I rarely am wowed by anyone or anything these days. I’m simply a little jaded by life. When you’ve lived life as hard as I have, nothing stuns you. However, every once in a while, you get the temptation to hope that you’ll be simply bowled over and amazed at someone or something new and intriguing. That happened for me a few days ago.

If you don’t know, at this point in my writing, I’m a single, gay man in the middle of gay Mecca. I think, per capita, more gay men live in Southern Florida than San Francisco, right now. And if they don’t live here, they vacation here or have winter homes here. As I figured, from the time I arrived, there would be dating prospects galore. But, finding that one person who relates to me in many important ways, who doesn’t have to be vetted by the FBI, and is drug and disease free has been quite the challenge.

My friends here all tell me that I should let down my guard and have fun. “Don’t worry about finding a relationship!” they say. “It will find you. Just go out to bars and meet people. Have sex when you want. And you’ll love it, just like we do. Trust us. You will!”

After much deliberation, I simply think I’m just not cut out for bars and casual anything. I’m a serial monogamist who likes to cuddle and enjoys praying with my partner. Be that as it may, finding that one gay man who is all that and interesting and kissable (and available emotionally and completely out of a marriage—yes, that means moved out from his partner!) is an anomaly to say the least.

Since I don’t go out to bars, unless with friends for food or 1-2 drinks, I have only looked for dates on Match.com and OkCupid.com, which are dating sites that pander to people who are relationship oriented. When someone is interested in me from the sites, I read his profile from top to bottom (no pun there) and decide if he’s worth my time and effort. Most times, after a few emails, a couple of phone conversations, and now FaceTime, I can get a really good idea of who the person is without even meeting. This takes much of the risk away. So, I’ve been used to going into these coffee dates with my eyes wide open.

What happens, though, if I meet someone—not on the Internet—who really intrigues me? All of a sudden, I act like I’m fifteen again. My heart starts thumping, my palms sweat like I’m writing a love letter, and the worst thing—I expect way too much! Expectation will pull anybody down every time. Every meeting with anyone has pertinence. Trying to create the reason why two people’s path intersect is simply not the emotion to give, even if he/she is stunningly handsome or gorgeous. Expectation draws your attention away from the NOW and keeps you hungering for what you concocted in your mind about the situation.

This scenario could be true for just about any situation—work, friendships, and vacations. So, in short, don’t waste your time trying to decide why Spirit has allowed you to meet someone new or try something different. Simply be open and vulnerable to whatever comes and give it your undivided attention. You may be the person that helps someone, has compassion when it’s needed most, or teaches a lesson to someone who never expected his teacher!

 Picture of Learning AloneMeditation PhotoGLUTEN FREE COVER

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 Beautiful Bird

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You #relationship #relationshipsadvice #dating

“I’ll never love you as much as you love me,” was once said to a man who doted, romanticized, and practically worshipped a woman who could never love him back. He answered with compassion, “You don’t understand, precious one. The love I have for you is mine and mine alone. To feel your presence in my life brings great joy. My love has no expectations.” To that, the woman had no response, but to accept the situation.

When you listen to this story, you realize that our search for love is really a desire for a feeling, not a person, usually. And the feeling is ours to possess. If we have experienced love in the past, we may just want the feeling of a past relationship again, because loving someone felt joyful and wonderful at one time. When we begin to expect a return from love’s investment is when we experience pain and remorse. So, how is it possible to give unconditional love when reciprocity is usually a prerequisite, especially in romantic love?

I may have shared with you before that my mantra for the past year has been, “Relationships are what they are, not what I make of them!” When I speak this phrase as an affirmation, I begin to convince myself that love will unfold if it is there, in me, and hopefully in someone else.

However, I understand that what has been in my way for much of my life is the expectation that the trust and hope and security of an old eight-year relationship will somehow magically appear in the dating process of someone new. Every step of the way, as I date new people, I must realize that my movement toward love should stay steady, forward, and nonresistant. When someone shares that he is not ready for a relationship or would rather be friends, the relationship tells me what direction I need to go.

If I don’t listen and have already made up my mind about the relationship, I will grieve the loss of my dream, not the loss of the person. This is the most important fact to remember as you date, which ultimately leads to uncovering wounded parts of your tender heart.

GLUTEN FREE COVERThe_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_KindleBilly Ray's Secret Cover

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 Brahma

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

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