I was pleasantly surprised when I came across an autobiography of a man on Match.com that said, “I’m looking for a man to make me close this account forever!” This was the delight of my morning, because his words so perfectly described what most of us desire. (I’m not talking to the people who love being single and enjoy having a different person every week.) This message goes out to the vast majority of people, straight and gay, who really desire to have a lasting relationship—one that will last through the challenges of time.
If you are on the hunt for that ideal person, I guarantee you will find it a challenge. Most people join sites like Match.com and have to go through 50 dates to find just one that is worth going out with a second time. For me, I have found people who are nice, people I’m attracted to, but none seem to be in the same place about relationship as I am. Most have an unrealistic view of what relationship is because of a recent divorce, a bad break-up, or they simply have too many attachment issues. The trick to finding that one perfect mate is… oh, wait, I don’t know what that is, because I haven’t found it yet!
Well, I certainly know what NOT to do and what signs to look for to make sure that your budding relationship will actually eventually bloom.
- If your date says you are the first person he has dated or kissed in a long period of time, run!
- If your date tries something strange sexually the first time you have sex, run!
- If your date describes some odd fantasy that sounds a little too kinky for your tastes, run. He or she will probably opt out of love to get satisfy that fantasy, eventually. (This happened to me after 2 years of bliss and happiness.)
- If someone is married and in the stages of separating or getting a divorce, run. I know it’s tempting, because he or she is usually the type of person that is stable and securely attached. However, this person is in a stage of his/her life that is apt to want to look around, first, before settling down again. I call this the “Wild Oats” season. (This just happened to me, recently, after long discussions about commitment and what we wanted. After opening his heart to love, he realized he hadn’t had enough opportunities to date before settling down. This was soon after he met some hot dude at the gym who was in hot pursuit of him.)
- If your date gets angry easily, run.
- If your date cannot treat strangers nicely, he’s apt to treat you poorly eventually.
- Lastly, if you are not on the same page, spiritually, you probably shouldn’t run, but a slow walk away would be a safer bet. I have many friends who have had fairly good relationships without the spiritual component. But the happiest couples are those who share the deepest part of their spiritual heart. I know, because I’ve been there, that our anxiousness can cause us to pursue relationships outside of our spiritual desire. However, I’ve decided, I’m willing to wait this time.
As most of my friends who are in relationships say, “When you are not looking, you’ll find him or her!” However, if you’re a hermit, sitting alone every night, you’ll probably not find a date either. Finding someone takes action! Even if that action is simply pursuing your own interests to be social in groups such as Meetup.com, you’re more likely to meet that person with the same likes and dislikes.
Today’s featured book is “You’re Gay Friend’s Guide to Understanding Men.” This was a bestseller on the NY Times list three years ago. It’s a more spiritual approach for finding that right relationship! Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.
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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian
What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian
Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)
If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/.
Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]