Tag: gay divorce

Awaken to Deeper Love

Last night I had the most transparent conversation I had ever had in my life. I shared from the deepest place of insecurity and pain. Yet, it was as if I began to rise from my own body, out of the shadows of my own humanity, and into the arms of the truest, #deepestLove I’ve ever experienced. Allowing light into the depths of my insecurity allowed healing to begin in ways unexplainable.

I’ve always known that true love would be a place of #divine_healing. You find that person with whom you can tell your life story and he not only doesn’t blink. He completely understands. Some kind of deep sense of security builds to a place where you begin to erect the foundation of a church where only you and he can enter, pray, and feel the presence of Divine Energy heal you. I’ve known it existed, but never experienced it to the extent that I recently have.

 

In the past, love had always begun with attraction. From that attraction, intimacy grew (usually physical intimacy). From that physical intimacy, the feeling of security began to gestate. However, by the time I was sharing my most intimate thoughts, I was also wondering if that one new love with whom I was developing feeling would leave or abandon me if he or she didn’t resonate with my story.

 

So, I colored my story, created shades of truth that can be switched, shifted, and changed if things didn’t go right in the telling. I’ve lived my life on this premise. I have spent years in relationship (up to 8 years) never sharing my deepest fears or my shallowest thoughts. Because of my mistake about relationship, I must share my experience.

 

When you start from the premise of securing the right of passage to your secret place in the heart with someone, BEFORE you express sexuality and sensuality, true intimacy happens authentically.

I liken this to planting a seed in the beautiful, hearty soil. We don’t get to tell the seed when to sprout, when to take root, stay alive or die, to flower, or bear fruit. The seed and the earth do this in authentic timing, in the perfect timing. When you are anxious for relationship and love, you may find yourself forcing the natural law of action. When you are experiencing avoidant love, you may find yourself never staying around long enough to see if your love can bear fruit.

However, when you find security in a friendship, the foundation you lay in your life is preeminently the place where all good things grow and have room to flourish. This is true love. This is the kind of love that marriage ultimately should be.

If you read my Easter blog yesterday (“Risen”), you can see in this blog that sometimes marriage takes you down paths that crack you open and give you the opportunity to grow if you take it. My husband and I experienced and felt we had a death, buried it, and resurrected it in the short time I was in the hospital over Easter weekend. Our Easter experience was unlike anything we have ever had known. For this, I’m thankful for waking up with the worst pain in my heart, for being forced to take an Uber to the Emergency room at 5:30 a.m., and for being poked and prodded for hours with machines and needles.

Love cracked me open and found a place that I hadn’t given over to the process. Love searched my heart, knew my desire for total transparency, and provided the perfect place, the securest place to transform and evolve. Who would have imagined it would have been in the four desolate walls of a hospital room?

Love has found me. Love has awakened my heart. Today I stand taller, feel happier, and expect more of life than I have ever expected. Today, I challenge you to plant the seeds of authentic, secure love.

Don’t hasten to watch them grow. Let nature take its course. Keep your heart open. Keep your mind open to experiences you wouldn’t usually allow for yourself.

Let the light of wisdom and spirituality (through meditation and guidance) lead you to the deepest healing process ever.

 

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As a tribute to my belief that “prosperity is all around us, should we choose to receive,” I want to invite those of you who want to send an offering for the joy or advice you have received from Finding Authentic You Blog.

“We must give to receive, always. This is the Law of Reciprocity.”

If you would like to participate in giving to the gift of this blog: Please send all checks, money orders, or credit card requests to:

Bo Sebastian, c/o Finding Authentic You Enterprises,

117 Lake Emerald Drive #108

Oakland Park, FL 33309

Thank you for your gift!

__________

If you buy a copy of any of my books or Book an appointment, send me the receipt, I will send you

A FREE HYPONSIS MP3 or another Electronic Copy of book that is under the domain of my publishing company. TO HELP YOU DURING TIMES OF PAIN. SEND THE RECEIPT TO bosebastian5@gmail.com and I’ll send the Mp3 within the week, I promise.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.

[IF YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS POST, PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS USING ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE SOCIAL MEDIA ICONS ON THE SIDE PANEL OR IN A POP UP MENU AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE! THANKS SO MUCH, BO.]

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books!

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

____________________

 

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Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!

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Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

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Commitment and Marriage: How Close Is Love to Terror?

While standing on line to get our marriage license at the Broward County Courthouse, my fiancé and I were met with some strange and judgmental gazes. David and I were the only gay couple sitting among the normal ones. The others were dressed in suits and getting married by the Justice of the Peace in the adjacent room. Each of the couple eyes spoke there truths:

“Your marriage isn’t real.” “Come on now… Really?” “God does not support this.”

Actually, the only person who seemed to care about our impending nuptials was the Haitian woman who waited on us to issue the license. all smiles, she seemed to be thrilled with this tall Irishman wanting to marry a silver fox!

What struck me as the most interesting sensation in the entire process is when I said to David: “Are you feeling emotional?”

Continue reading below.

________________________________

Sign up for our mailing list BELOW. (You need to only do this once!) You’ll be privy to the latest and greatest ways to help yourself eat, exercise, meditate, and express your authentic life in ways you never thought possible. I promise not to flood you with ads or sell your name to advertisers. This is a personal e-mail server, which I use only to make big announcements. Thanks for signing up in advance.

GET A FREE E-BOOK ON SELF-HELP FOR SIGNING UP!

Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!

GO TO AMAZON

____________

Continued from Above:

He answered: “I’m kind of not feeling anything. How about you?”

We both burst into laughter. We had waited for about 8 months for this moment, talked about it incessantly, and now we held the document that legally binds us together, but neither of us felt anything we could describe. The closest I could come to a description of what I saw on David’s face was a cross between terror and love. I wasn’t a bit thrown by the moment, because I had some strange feelings, as well. None of which I could say I recognized.

I guess my life was flashing before me. I saw all the times relationship didn’t work out. I saw the people who love me but couldn’t commit. I remembered the bad endings to the loving beginnings. Much passed before my eyes, until I engaged with the man standing before me, ready to commit his life to mine. I was no longer unsettled.

Even the bible says that (Proverbs 20: 6-7):

Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? 7 The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

Actually, as I looked through the bible verses about marriage, I could only find scriptures about men and women. I believe it understandable, given the book that is supposed to be the most sacred in the Christian paradigm, why right winged Christians wouldn’t understand that all the references to men and women marrying is just a part of historical history. Just as people have tattoos now (The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT)), when in the early Christian days it was a sign of slavery. Women had to wear head coverings and sit on opposite sides as the men. Women had few choices in those days.

We are all willing to think, hey that was just the historical time for those reasons, but few Right-Winged Christians can abide by men and women marrying was also an historical clip in time. The only thing that doesn’t change is change, folks! If you are one of those people that can’t wrap your head around change, you may consider looking everywhere and try to name one things that is tangible that doesn’t change. You won’t find one.

The Buddha says:

Early Buddhism dealt with the problem of impermanence in a very rationale manner. This concept is known as anicca in Buddhism, according to which, impermanence is an undeniable and inescapable fact of human existence from which nothing that belongs to this earth is ever free. 

Buddhism declares that there are five processes on which no human being has control and which none can ever change. These five processes are namely, the process of growing old, of not falling sick, of dying, of decay of things that are perishable and of the passing away of that which is liable to pass. Buddhism however suggests that escape from these is possible and it’s through Nirvana.

__________

If you buy a copy of my book: FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU and send me the receipt, I will send you

A FREE HYPONSIS MP3 TO HELP YOU DURING TIMES OF PAIN. SEND THE RECEIPT TO bosebastian5@gmail.com and I’ll send the Mp3 within the week, I promise.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

____________________

Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

Please follow and like us:
0

What? Leave You? 6 Ways to Leave an Unhealthy Relationship #divorce #relationshipadvice #breakups #whatstrending

Stephen Sondheim wrote a song called “Could I Leave You?” that is from the musical Follies. A woman kept by a rich husband in an unhealthy relationship, sang the song. She patters sarcastically, “Leave you, leave you, how could I leave you? What would I do on my own? Putting thought of you aside in the south of France. Would I think of suicide? Darling, shall we dance? Could I live through the pain on a terrace in Spain, would it pass? It would pass!” (You get the picture?)

So, you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, and you want out. You’ve been thinking about your liberation for years, but the thought of giving up all that you have and starting over keeps you from your true desire to find authenticity and real love. So, what do you do to take that large hurdle into the unknown?

  1. Make a list. On side, put all the items, including emotional ones that you would truly miss. On the other side, put all of the things you need to get rid of, including emotional baggage. Make the list long and painfully articulate, because you will use this list every time you second-guess yourself during the hard break-up process. On this list, you must include actions and in appropriate behavior you saw in the beginning, which worsened during the relationship, but dismissed. This is important, because you don’t want to make the same mistakes again… Usually, someone in this position is dealing with a partner who wanted you to be dependent so s/he could manipulate you. This is, by definition narcissism. Read all you can about narcissistic and co-narcissistic behavior, because you have become a co-narcissist, if this is the case.
  2. Get a counselor of some kind or a life coach to keep you on track with your move and the challenge of separation. You will find solace in the fact that someone else’s suggestions and thoughts about what you need to do and how you do it are EXACTLY on point. In fact, you’ll depend on this counsel, sometimes, which is perfectly okay.
  3. Begin to get healthy spiritually and mentally. Of course, getting a counselor is one way to start the process, but, also, take classes in spiritually to begin the challenge and practice of getting to know a higher, better you. Remember, somewhere along the line you lost that person you once knew as happy. Even if your relationship started out with true love, somewhere you took a u-turn. Having a spiritual base and even a spiritual home will also support your strong decision to move on. You will need all of those new relationships to hold you, support you, and keep you standing during the inevitable painful times of divorce.
  4. Make a careful plan of everything you need to do in the breakup, including getting legal advice. Actually, you might even start here. Who knows, if you’re thinking of divorce, it’s quite possible your partner has, too. Begin looking for alternative places to live, stay, and move. Have a financial plan in place. Most people, especially women supported by rich husbands, are more frightened of their financial ruin than they are of anything else during a divorce. So, hiring the best legal council is on the top of your list. You won’t be sorry. You might even begin taking classes to start the new career you’ve been wanting to have for so long.
  5. Though all of this seems cold and calculated, we get nothing in life unless you first make a plan and can see it clearly. Divorce or leaving a long-standing relationship is no different than creating something new in Divine Mind. This new move is also a seed you plant in Divine Consciousness and water and tend to, just as you would a dream. See your new life—free of the pain—in your meditation and prayers, everyday. Don’t miss one day! You will need a clear picture of your new life without your partner.
  6. Make a plan to stay OUT of intimate relationships for at least a year, while you get your life and your mind healthy again. Some therapy suggests that you will spend exactly 1/2 of the time you were in the relationship, getting over it. Let’s try not to take that long, by doing all this good work ahead of time. But, you will, of course, need to take time to grieve, even if you’re the one leaving. So, as you can see, the worst thing someone can do while leaving one bad relationship is to leverage a new intimate relationship. This is only an attempt to buffer pain and not look at what you really want—authenticity and spiritual growth. First relationships after a divorce usually end in disaster and cause more problems than you intended. Don’t bring someone else into your smelly relationship. Clean it up, first; clean yourself up, first, then move on with grace.

The_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_Kindle

Today’s featured book is one of my novels, “The Leaving Cellar.” It’s a book about waiting too long to take what you deserve from life. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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