Who can forget the quip Olympia Dukakis delivered in “Steel Magnolias, “I’d rather walk on my lips than gossip…” Then, of course, she went on to share some dirt her nemesis. We don’t often think twice when we spread other’s people’s bad or good news without regard to their feelings or desire to share it themselves. I would guess that 99% of all people are guilty of gossip, including me. I find it difficult to keep what I know locked in my vault—as one friend calls it, who definitely can keep a secret. For me, my life is so out there for everyone to know and hear about, I often forget that other people have safer boundaries than I. I’m committed to being better about gossip in the future, mostly because of some recent gossip I heard about little ole me.
We watch the news or a talk shows like “Chelsea Lately,” and, without a doubt, the reason we turned it on was to hear about other people’s shortcomings. When we get wind of another person’s faults or depraved actions, we just don’t feel so bad about ourselves. Also, starting way back with comedians like Joan Rivers and, now, Kathy Griffin, we laugh at their bareback details about everyone from politicians to movie actors sex, lies and video tapes. I have to admit it, I bought tickets for Kathy’s show when she was in town. Every gay person I knew was there. She loves her gay men. She calls us “her gays.” We love Kathy Griffin because she tends to tell a story holding back no minor, intrinsic detail. But, is honesty truly funny, when it’s at the expense of another person?
My friend Sharon and I were talking recently about the southern way of sharing a story without poking fun. Especially older southern women bred to be ladies, use words like “the poor dear” and “precious should know better…” before an exhaustive betrayal of trust and probably something scathing about a hairdo or an outfit, or worse yet, someone’s gaining weight. We can’t help ourselves sometimes. But, no matter if it comes with the southern mask of fake compassion or a blatant truth like Chelsea Handler, neither is comforting if you think that you may be the next one to be talked about.
In the past, I have had rumors spread about me that were simply the furthest from the truth. Some stories that were spread never even happened. I could understand an untruth, if someone got a part of a truth a little eschew. But, when a complete untruth is told about you, you begin to rethink your take on gossip. For me, I try hard to bite my tongue if I know someone would be hurt in the transaction of my words. Sometimes, you know it’s just comical to poke fun.
But, I can remember a group of friends I would hang around with. Out of the ten, one woman would always get singled out for gossip. “She’s such a bitch! She drives me crazy. Can you believe what she said?” I can’t tell you how many times I defended her. Yet, the group managed to stay together, even though the schisms of gossip could have easily pulled each of them in different directions, if any of them had an idea of what had been said, most especially, the one girl.
Many years later and sans moi, this particular girl, who hadn’t spoken with me for four years, recently wrote to me to say goodbye. In her letter, she said that the reason why she hadn’t been in my life was because I could never support her, as she had always supported me.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her, I was the only one supporting her. When I would try to solicit business for her, most of my friends would look at me with a quizzical glare and say, “Really?” In fact, often, friends would call at an invitation to one of my parties, ask if she were there, and beg out because they didn’t want to be around her. How do you tell a friend so many people dislike her? I guess you don’t, which is probably why people talked behind her back. As I said, she maintained all of the other friendships, those of whom couldn’t care less about her breaking heart, and she dismissed the one person who truly loved her. For that, I feel sorry for her.
But, I digress. Just don’t gossip. It’s not good for the soul.
I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyou-publishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.
Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also aself-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.
For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.
Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.
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