Tag: guilt

Guilt: Ugly and Painful—How It Affects Our Lives

Mary Jane commits to many people and functions in her life. She basically forces herself to keep her commitments by guilt. She has a weight problem. I’m certain that when she overeats, some of the hunger is trying to feed her guilty feelings about over committing to the people in her life. The true facts are almost 90% of overweight people are caregivers, giving to everyone but themselves. If that issue sounds familiar, read on.

Many people have had parents who guilted them into life, never providing firm choices with real outcomes. For instance, Mom wanted you to favor her instead of Dad. So, she let you know how much she had done for you and how much she loves you, so that your heart would feel guilty about betraying her to side with your father. Even though you know your father is right, out of guilt, you side with Mom.

How many times in your life has a parent, friend, or partner done that to you? Are you on a guilt conveyor belt that allows you no room to breathe in relationship? Or, do you have a wife who went through the pains of labor for you. How much is that worth and for how long, when it comes to getting your way or hers?

The heavy weight of guilt can cause you to feel sick to your stomach, eat, start drinking, or add some other kind of addiction to your repertoire. For me, when I feel guilty about something, I get a stomachache. In other words, metaphorically, I can’t digest anything because I have created unhealthy boundaries for my own security and protection. No matter what way guilt creeps into your life, it’s painful.

I find that the biggest way guilt impedes us is spiritually. If we have been brainwashed to believe that God is expecting some kind of “good” behavior from us, when what we want is diametrically in opposition to the bible, then the result will always be guilt. Some people have stayed in bad relationship for years because of the guilt that God would send them to hell if they got a divorce, left the commitment for another person, sought out their true sexual proclivity, or even left the sacred bounds of marriage because they were being verbally or physically abused.

Spiritual guilt is probably the worst guilt in our lives. This is why you need to define what you believe about God before all else. The amount of guilt you take on in life often relies on your definition of God and spirit. This must include what you feel God is responsible for in your life. Is God the father ready to punish you for bad behavior? Is God the mother who uses guilt to manipulate your decisions? Is God merely a force that has provided spiritual law to deal with all of the above, and isn’t involved personally at all?

You have to make your own decisions about these questions. I’m in the middle about all of it. I pray, but my prayers have changed so much in the past because of unanswered prayer. I believe now that prayer is more aligning my own mind to spiritual truth. Don’t believe in asking God to change the world for my wants. I do believe that angels and spirits work on our behalf to create a fabric of synchronicity, where all of us are really connected. When one person needs something, it is not out of the realm of my belief that God could send an angel to help them. In fact, I count on it.

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New Challenge: Go to Week 5 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” 

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Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
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3 Ways that Guilt Can Weigh You Down

I read an article in Huffington Post written by Carolyn Gregoire that suggests the emotion of guilt can actually make you gain weight! She goes even further to state that two other ways guilt can block the good in your life is that it contributes to depression and makes you procrastinate more.

I’ve never been one to act on guilt, generally. But after I read the article, I thought about the times in my life that I have, and how it contributed to depression and negative thoughts. I don’t believe, for me, gaining weight was a factor.

Family is probably the prime contributor to guilt, especially mothers. I know too many matriarchal queens who wield the power of guilt on their very prone children. My mom sulks when she doesn’t get her way. In times of old, I would simply think: well, it would take less energy to do what she asks, then actually confront her and bitch about it.

But now when she sulks, I simply say, “Are you enjoying that sad feeling? It’s causing you stress, but it’s not changing a thing for me. If you want or need something from me, all you have to do is ask! If I can do whatever you’re asking, I will. If I can’t, I’ll simply tell you, and you’ll have to deal with it!”

This way of dealing with guilt has changed my life, I actually take my own advice. Sometimes, still, I resist the urge to do what’s right and acquiesce to her old ways.

I have another family member who loves using guilt to get her way. For as long as I can remember, this is has been her prime force of power. She uses it with her children, her siblings and her parents. Of course, I feel virtually void of her guilt, because I have parameters and boundaries that supersede this kind of control. You need this kind of power, too, if you want to exist in this world without undo guilt causing you to carry extra weight, depression, and procrastination.

Women are primary candidates for carrying guilt. A recent Spanish study in 2010 shows that women acquiesce to guilt more than men. Read the article: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100125123305.htm. Why is this so?

I have many women clients who have been trapped by demanding mothers and parents who keep them practically jailed in their own homes because of shame and guilt. It takes a lifetime of manipulation to be able to engage a fully-grown adult into the kind of shame that would put a life on hold to take care of a parent and give up a job and/or relationship. Trust me, it happens frequently, though.

In these cases, most of the time, the woman has her own set of issues that help debilitate her, as well, needing to rest on her parent’s laurels for help and security. This symbiotic mess causes a reduction of the protective boundaries in my clients and a maze of codependent and co-narcissistic behavior.

If you feel you need help with this kind of issue, take it to a professional. Regaining power and the resources to overcome dependency and narcissism take time and a complete renovation on the neural impulses that cause this detrimental behavior.

______________________________________________

Go to Week 3 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” 

______________________________________________

Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
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