Tag: healing the past

When Past Hurts Return! #healingthepast #pastrelationship #relationshipadvice #divorce

Have you ever opened your heart to someone whom had hurt you, because you felt as if you were healed enough to face the past? Then, you realized, amidst the doing, that you simply were adding drama to your life by inviting that person back into your life?

One of the greatest hurts in my life resulted from doing just that. After eight years and a nasty breakup, I decided to forgive my ex and invited him back into my life, because he was going through a painful break. The result, my ex ended up having a torrid love affair with my current partner of eight years. From that day forward, I have tried to keep the past in the past and the present where it belongs.

Recently, though, I went against my own advice and cracked open that door to a casual hello to someone who had hurt me fairly recently. My excuse and my rational was that I did not want to keep holding hurt in my own heart and wanted to make amends.

The visit went well. We were both a little uncomfortable. But, the result was even more hurtful than before. I chastised myself over and over again.

  • Why did I open that door?
  • Was I trying to see if I still had feelings?
  • Was I hoping he had changed?
  • Was I thinking that I could convert the old situation into a positive one?

All of these questions were viable ones, but none were ones that were good enough to go against my own soul’s boundaries. Here is what I learned after spending the last two days almost completely quiet, searching for truth:

Everyone in my life, whether they choose to hurt me or support me is doing me a favor. EVERYONE!

The reason I have come to this conclusion is because each person is like a road sign steering me in the direction I need to be. Road signs warn you, keep you safe, and give you information about the unexpected coming ahead. When a sign says, “Stop,” or “Go in another direction!” You should be thankful for the knowledge the sign gives. Do not decide you know better than the sign. You could avoid a major collision if you simply pay attention to the road signs.

But, instead, old anxious attachment behavior comes up from the past and decides it wants to heal the past using a particular relationship. Daddy hurt me and now I need to make sure that Relationship X does not mirror my dad’s relationship with me. I need to, want to, have to… change the scenario! But, nothing changes, really, not in your mind and certainly not in the people who have hurt you.

My resolve is that every one of us on this earth shares in the One Mind of God. We were all made in Its image; therefore, we all have something that makes us related. It is within that one part of Divine Mind that we are all being steered into the right direction by the positive people and MOST IMPORTANTLY THE REJECTION!

Don’t let the neural pathways of your human brain steer you. You’ll end up going in circles around your pain.

After this past week, I can say with fortitude in my heart that I’m thankful for the STOP SIGNS in my life. They all have a face. They all are doing the will of God. They all have meaning. And each deserves my COMPLETE ATTENTION.

What they don’t deserve is my anger, my hurt, my negative behavior, and the distraction they cause in my life.

Amen.

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

Anxious Attachment Picture

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 cropped-6009Color100.jpg

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

Please follow and like us:
0

Finding Resolve from My Insane Ego! #neuralpathways #psychology #anxiety #releasingthepast

Even the simplest of materials, broken down to its smallest ingredients is created from voluminous amounts of different combinations of atoms from the periodic chart. While most people generally go through life not even considering the combination of atoms that created milk; the majority of adults, however, wonder how certain insane thoughts came into existence in their own minds. Most of us wonder about what gave us the eschewed beliefs that have caused so much anxiety in our minds.

When you relive a thought over and over again in your mind hoping to come out with a better outcome, we define this as insanity. Yet, knowing this, we close our eyes to sleep and the scenario begins again. An answer occurred to me when I asked myself a very simple question: When was the first time that you remember feeling this powerful negative thought or emotion? As I went back into the recesses of my mind, I discovered a story I hadn’t remembered before, one that was hidden from my own consciousness.

Our minds are clever. When a thought is too painful, we have parts of our consciousness that protect us from that particular thought. This is why memories often come back in bits and pieces, especially painful ones that caused Post Traumatic Stress.

My particular thought came as I meditated quietly, asking for guidance about a circular thought of insecurity and abandonment that I often feel. I saw a vision of young boy—me—in a baseball dugout, anxious and angry about being forced to be there. My turn to bat was about to arrive. My heart raced and my stomach screamed out in pain, because I was never ready for that moment. No one had ever helped me practice, not even the coach. I was the kid who only got put in the line-up in the ninth inning when my team had no chance of losing.

In my dream, I would strikeout over and over again. But, the worst part of the dream was looking out into the bleachers for my remiss parents who never were a part of the crowd of supportive ones cheering in the bleachers. I was angry, abandoned, and left to support my own self at seven years old. At the end of the night, I walked home for one long, lonely mile in the dusk, alone, usually crying.

What I discovered in my dream was a sad scenario, yes. But, what excited me about this revelation was that I finally began to understand the impact of those moments as a child. As an adult, I can now help that young child inside of me to heal that feeling of abandonment, which wasn’t my fault at all. What a relief to know that the compound mixture of emotions that is now what I call insecurity, actually has a beginning.

As a chef, I know that if I can define all of the ingredients in a particular dish that I had tasted, I usually can come up with a recipe to create a similar result. So, too, knowing the ingredients of my circular thoughts, helped me to recreate a scenario that could finally be healed. I can now relieve those parts of my mind that seek to protect me from the painful inception of my insecurities—from their long appointed posts—and let the memory be healed.

Now, every time I feel insecure, I can talk to Bobby—my inner child—and tell him how precious and wonderful he is… was. I can share with him that, despite his feelings of being abandoned, he was not the cause of this pain. I can, also, assure my inner child that I—the adult—will never put him in a situation like the one from my childhood.

This is a start—a great start to heal the wounds of my insane ego. Yes, I know, with my deductive brain, that I am whole and complete, always, as a part of God. But, oftentimes, we all need to come out of our own ego bodies and minds long enough to treat the wounds of our past. This is my resolve and treatment for you:

“This is what I know. Spirit God is whole and complete, as am I, a part of this wonderful, loving creative energy we call Source. I’m thankful for this truth and for the Law of Creation. I’m knowing for myself and for anyone reading this that you, too, are whole and complete, right now. Nothing can add or subtract from the love that you are, wherever you are right at this moment. Feel this love in every part of your body and mind, seeking to enlighten and enliven you.

“I’m also knowing that anywhere in your ego mind that pain still exists as an effect from something in your past, that—in a time of divine inspiration and protection—you, too, will find the inception of your circular thinking, the story where the pain began. When you do find this story, you will also find the grace to forgive yourself, the people in your life who caused the feeling, and begin to walk on the awesome pathway to healing. I know this for you and for myself, right now, as I release this prayer to the Law. And so it is!

Anxiout Attachment Cover

Today’s featured book is “The Anxious Attachment of a Gay Man.” It’s a book birthed from my own spiritual growth, through relationships. I guarantee you’ll be blessed by the positive impact, many years of therapy had on my mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 Eye

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

Please follow and like us:
0

Inducted into the Football Hall of Fame #family #afatherslove #livinginthenow

When I was a kid, I resented my father, his siblings, and buddies, who consistently hoarded the television to watch football. They yelled, screamed, drank, and laughed like college fraternity sophomores. I often walked away floating on my artistic puffery, assured that football and anyone watching it was ignorant of the important things in life. I even went as far as embarrassing my dad—in front of his friends—by asking him about a homerun, when I knew it was a touchdown.

Last evening as I watched my nephew give his state-championship father and this year’s Football Coach Hall of Fame Honoree his trophy, I realized that football wasn’t the problem at all with Dad and I. I always thought my father unappreciative of my artistic side. I had an epiphany, though, that I was not angry with him anymore. I was disappointed that I couldn’t share in his joy and camaraderie, back then.

During my nephew’s speech, honoring his father before the award, my nephew shared how hard it was, sometimes, to live up to the hard chore of being an athlete—and even more importantly—a champion. He shared how his father’s ideals, though tough at times, kept him on point throughout his childhood until the day he was his father’s quarterback for the winning state championship game. He suggested that his dad was one of the most important influences in his life—spiritually, mentally, and at helping him capture what was the most important parts of life—especially family.

When his father got up to receive the award, he shared that when his son was a freshman in high school, he admittedly did the unthinkable—read his son’s journal. When he opened the journal, he noticed one thing: an entry that read, “I want to win a State Championship for my father!”

My brother-in-law pointed out that this moment changed his life, because he realized that his son didn’t want to be a champion for himself, but for his father. Through teary eyes, I had to wonder what would have happened had I chosen to want to honor my father, instead of humiliate him. Maybe instead of constantly chasing my father’s love, or worse yet, pretending I didn’t need, I, too, would have had a moment similar to my nephew and his father, while my dad was still alive.

I realized, though, how grateful I had become just sitting and watching my family’s love flourish around me. In some osmosis way, I was able to regain some of that love and compassion I had missed with my own father, now sitting around a banquet table with my family dressed to the nines, observing this special moment in my sister’s and her family’s life.

Sometimes it takes years to heal from something. Sometimes it takes a moment. Tonight, I love my dad more than I thought I could.

Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior CoverGLUTEN FREE COVERBilly Ray's Secret Cover

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 hummingbird

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

Please follow and like us:
0
Loading...
X

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)