Tag: inner child

THE INNER BRAT: an unbalanced ego #egobalancing #spirituality #spiritualadvice #healthyego

If you have been following the last few blogs, I have been writing about the Ego. We have decided that the ego can be either healthy or unhealthy, balanced or imbalanced. One sign of an unhealthy ego is what the author and speaker, Christian de la Huerta calls “the inner brat.” I have called it in my writing the “inner child who always gets its way.”

You can recognize this part of your ego or in another person quite easily because it appears like the scenario below:

Child: “Mommy, mommy, I want this toy. Please mommy!”

Mother: “You have enough toys. Play with the ones you have already!”

Child: Begins to whimper. “But I want Thomas the Train.”

Mother: “Sorry, not today.” She speaks quietly because they are in Macys.

Child: Crying now. Sits in the middle of the department store floor and won’t budge.

Mother: Tries to get the child to come with her, nicely.

Child: Resists. Begins to rant. “I want Thomas the train now! I want Thomas the train! Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!”

Mother: Now embarrassed because the child is acting out in a large crowd, takes the toy from the shelf and shoves it in the child’s hand.

Child: Immediately stops crying and smirks…

When a child consistently gets what he or she wants, that child learns to control people by bad behavior. The parent loses control. Every in the room becomes controlled by this bad behavior.

That same child can exist in all of us. For those of us who have not dealt with that imbalance in our lives, we may still have that “inner brat” that won’t accept no for an answer from anyone. When we accept this imbalance as this is just me and I can’t help it, then we admit we have no control over ourselves. We may have learned to control others. But, what is more important: self-control, or the ability to manipulate others?

If you experience this feeling about to erupt, you can do yourself a big favor by stepping back from the situation and asking yourself a few probing questions:

  1. What am I missing here?
  2. Is there a delicate lesson to be learned by me not getting what I want?
  3. What will I be if I let go of this feeling?

Of course, you cannot get to this problem if your pulse is pounding out of your chest and your face is flushed. Before you ask the questions, you must take consistent breaths, with your inhales and exhales equal in length and longer than normal. This, of course, will lower your blood pressure and move your body toward a calmer state, so that you can adjust your mental state to more of an observer than one who is actively in the problem and unable to solve anything.

The “inner brat” can be a challenging imbalance, especially if you have allowed it to exist in your for a long time. When I child gets what he or she wants, it only satisfies that current need. Begin to realize that getting what you want right now, in this moment, may be satisfying, but it never challenges you to become a better, more balanced person. The child never learns his lesson that not everything in life is meant for us at any given moment.

Ask yourself this important question: Do you want to appear to your friends and family as that child in Macy’s? If you don’t, begin the process of letting go of the need to control everyone and get everything you desire in the moment you desire it.

Life comes to all of us as we accept the present as the perfect moment, in the perfect time, as peace and love.

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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 8.42.10 AM

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in April  or May of 2016!

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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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Finding Resolve from My Insane Ego! #neuralpathways #psychology #anxiety #releasingthepast

Even the simplest of materials, broken down to its smallest ingredients is created from voluminous amounts of different combinations of atoms from the periodic chart. While most people generally go through life not even considering the combination of atoms that created milk; the majority of adults, however, wonder how certain insane thoughts came into existence in their own minds. Most of us wonder about what gave us the eschewed beliefs that have caused so much anxiety in our minds.

When you relive a thought over and over again in your mind hoping to come out with a better outcome, we define this as insanity. Yet, knowing this, we close our eyes to sleep and the scenario begins again. An answer occurred to me when I asked myself a very simple question: When was the first time that you remember feeling this powerful negative thought or emotion? As I went back into the recesses of my mind, I discovered a story I hadn’t remembered before, one that was hidden from my own consciousness.

Our minds are clever. When a thought is too painful, we have parts of our consciousness that protect us from that particular thought. This is why memories often come back in bits and pieces, especially painful ones that caused Post Traumatic Stress.

My particular thought came as I meditated quietly, asking for guidance about a circular thought of insecurity and abandonment that I often feel. I saw a vision of young boy—me—in a baseball dugout, anxious and angry about being forced to be there. My turn to bat was about to arrive. My heart raced and my stomach screamed out in pain, because I was never ready for that moment. No one had ever helped me practice, not even the coach. I was the kid who only got put in the line-up in the ninth inning when my team had no chance of losing.

In my dream, I would strikeout over and over again. But, the worst part of the dream was looking out into the bleachers for my remiss parents who never were a part of the crowd of supportive ones cheering in the bleachers. I was angry, abandoned, and left to support my own self at seven years old. At the end of the night, I walked home for one long, lonely mile in the dusk, alone, usually crying.

What I discovered in my dream was a sad scenario, yes. But, what excited me about this revelation was that I finally began to understand the impact of those moments as a child. As an adult, I can now help that young child inside of me to heal that feeling of abandonment, which wasn’t my fault at all. What a relief to know that the compound mixture of emotions that is now what I call insecurity, actually has a beginning.

As a chef, I know that if I can define all of the ingredients in a particular dish that I had tasted, I usually can come up with a recipe to create a similar result. So, too, knowing the ingredients of my circular thoughts, helped me to recreate a scenario that could finally be healed. I can now relieve those parts of my mind that seek to protect me from the painful inception of my insecurities—from their long appointed posts—and let the memory be healed.

Now, every time I feel insecure, I can talk to Bobby—my inner child—and tell him how precious and wonderful he is… was. I can share with him that, despite his feelings of being abandoned, he was not the cause of this pain. I can, also, assure my inner child that I—the adult—will never put him in a situation like the one from my childhood.

This is a start—a great start to heal the wounds of my insane ego. Yes, I know, with my deductive brain, that I am whole and complete, always, as a part of God. But, oftentimes, we all need to come out of our own ego bodies and minds long enough to treat the wounds of our past. This is my resolve and treatment for you:

“This is what I know. Spirit God is whole and complete, as am I, a part of this wonderful, loving creative energy we call Source. I’m thankful for this truth and for the Law of Creation. I’m knowing for myself and for anyone reading this that you, too, are whole and complete, right now. Nothing can add or subtract from the love that you are, wherever you are right at this moment. Feel this love in every part of your body and mind, seeking to enlighten and enliven you.

“I’m also knowing that anywhere in your ego mind that pain still exists as an effect from something in your past, that—in a time of divine inspiration and protection—you, too, will find the inception of your circular thinking, the story where the pain began. When you do find this story, you will also find the grace to forgive yourself, the people in your life who caused the feeling, and begin to walk on the awesome pathway to healing. I know this for you and for myself, right now, as I release this prayer to the Law. And so it is!

Anxiout Attachment Cover

Today’s featured book is “The Anxious Attachment of a Gay Man.” It’s a book birthed from my own spiritual growth, through relationships. I guarantee you’ll be blessed by the positive impact, many years of therapy had on my mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 Eye

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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Connect to Your Innocence! #innerchild #findingstrength #recovery #IFS #Internalfamilysystems

A friend shared about following her heart. She said, “When you treat your heart as if it’s an innocent child—always needing your protection—you never move in the wrong direction!”

Our greatest bliss and deepest peace always comes from a secure place. To get to security we must honor the small child that exists in each of our souls. He plays with us, sometimes annoys us, and holds us accountable, but always leads us to our greatest sense of comfort. Why is this so?

There is a psychological technique called IFS (Internal Family Systems). From Wikipedia:

The Internal Family Systems Model (IFS) is an integrative approach to individual psychotherapy developed by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D. It combines systems thinking with the view that the mind is made up of relatively discrete subpersonalities, each with its own viewpoint and qualities. IFS uses family systems theory to understand how these collections of subpersonalities are organized…

Of course, one subpersonality everyone has is her inner child. For me, “Little Bobby” is my radar, my consciousness, and also my security guard. When I feel that aching, gnawing feeling in my belly that insists I shouldn’t or can’t do something, I know it’s Bobby beckoning me, “Listen closely, I have something important to tell you about your heart!” I’ve learned that adhering to him always makes for a more secure and peaceful life. Some people call it trusting your gut. For me, I realize that my gut has a name.

Today, get quiet and find that inner girl or boy whom you left behind on your quest for adulthood. Instead of thinking you are too tough, too busy, or too wise to listen, trust the innocence that exists inside of you for guidance and ultimately to lead you into the perfect path of life.

 Meditation BookcoverAnxiout Attachment CoverUncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior CoverGLUTEN FREE COVERWilla_Divine_Cover_for_KindleThe_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_Kindle

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 FullSizeRender

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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