I had an initial conversation with a new acquaintance. Two times during the dialogue, I felt compelled to hang up the phone and discontinue the conversation. My need to hang up came from the thought that this person was being dismissive to me and a bit aloof.
As an observer of my own behavior, I stopped myself from being reactive to the conversation, because I felt my desire to hang up was based on a bruised ego. I also realized that my conversational topics and point of view could have evoked or triggered his tone and choice words that triggered me. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt; especially, since we both go to the same church, basically work in the same field, and have a lot of the same beliefs about life.
After we hung up the telephone, I rehearsed the conversation in my mind. I realized that when anyone new asks me about myself, I usually begin with a bit about my spiritual take on life then continue with my pedigree (what I do, how I do it, how many times I have been successful, yadda yadda yadda…).
I have been through many of these conversations, especially in the clinical arena, as the first thing I ask my clients is to tell me a little about themselves, even before they tell me their reason for seeing me. I almost never understand who the person is by their pedigree. My following, more probing questions about what makes them tick as a person is what provides the information I need to get to know them more intimately.
As I looked back at the conversation with my new acquaintance, I was quick to share my strong point of view after every time he shared his opinion, which could have been perceived as judgmental. Also, I interrupted him in the middle of telling a story for clarification, and he said, “Well, I wasn’t finished with the story.” This really pushed my button, as I was not trying to be rude, I just wanted to clarify something he said. It was as if we were two dogs vying for dominance. This was not my idea of a great first conversation.
As I listened to the words I chose in the conversation, in my mind, now, though, I believe I would have hung up on myself. I was largely flagrant and led with my successful pedigree, instead the most authentic part of me, which is certainly not arrogance. I’m not sure why this person still wants to meet me for coffee, but I’m determined to not reenact the first conversation again.
This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.
Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!
Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.
You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.
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Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)
Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]