Tag: living an authentic life

Different Boys Like Me #growingupdifferent #gayrights #spirituality #scienceandspirit

I remember the old Janis Ian song, “At Seventeen.” Her poignant lyric has been spinning in my brain all morning. As a teenager, I remember singing it and changing the lyrics from “ugly girls like me” to “different boys like me.” I always understood what it meant to be that unique, but misunderstood character whom everyone wanted to love, but did not know how.

The high school girls seemed to understand me, but the jocks thought I was too pretty and artistic, the nerds were scared to let me in for fear the jocks would disturb their quiet tribe.

I wondered why I couldn’t have been a football player or someone normal that everyone could love. Even at that young age, I sought truth from Spirituality. I remember studying many religions and searching for one that would accept me for who I am.

The many anxiously waiting religions that sought to initiate me into their community of believers all wanted change, the biggest change, a change I could not even vocalize then, was that they would not… could not… absolutely barring none, allow me to be gay! That was something I would have to change or forsake the idea of ever having something like a God to love me.

So, the next ten years were a balancing act, trying to decide what was more important, God or my authentic feelings about men. Probably for many, my story was the same. I wanted to be loved and accepted so badly that I chose to forsake my authenticity and conformed. For many years, I lived as a celibate minister caring for everyone but myself.

This scenario is less likely to happen today when acceptance and tolerance is law, but it does not mean that haters do not exist that wish to put every different person back in a closet in keep them locked there. We would wonder why. How could this different, artistic, spiritual boy threaten a muscular football player or a right-wing religious leader?

No one can tell the difference—by looks—who is gay and who is not. So, the threat to the paranoid is like the threat of the simple, nerd who turns out to be an ISIL follower.

When people cannot be easily identified and categorized, it disturbs people who live in isolated worlds, especially if they do not understand true spirituality and unconditional love. It would almost seem that compassion could only come from someone who has experienced what it feels like to be different.

So, we commune in flocks for safety. We move to cities with more of us to protect our laws. We vote for the political party that will protect our rights the most. We seek the religion or the spiritual path who will love us as we are. This is a good thing.

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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in January)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

cover pdf2Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in January 2016!

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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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Cast in the Wrong Role

Recently, I volunteered for a Christmas show at my church. The guest director had heard I was a good singer, but had no idea of what kind of singer I was (pop, jazz, Broadway, opera, country). He cast seven other people in this show, having heard and worked with all of the others. As each cast member got his/her beautiful solo, specifically chosen for his/her voice, I listened intently for mine. When the director came to me, I was told my song was a raucous country song, arranged by Toby Keith, who couldn’t be less like me than a piece of coal is to a cut piece of glass.

As the temporary music coordinator at church and a volunteer for this show, my job has been to undergird the production in a way that is helpful and useful. I have learned all of the songs for the chorale. In fact, most days in rehearsal I’m the one who has his part memorized before the music director ever plays it on the piano. So, I spend most rehearsals listening to the music director painfully pound out parts for the non-music readers.

I’m told I am supposed to begin this show on stage by myself, before the chorale enters the stage. As you can probably guess, I have little confidence that I can be someone I’m not. I have spent my entire adult life teaching the principles of living an authentic life and feel vastly uncomfortable doing 0therwise.

What should I do? I ask myself. If I go to the director six days before the show, I sound like a whining diva. If I simply bite the bullet and sing the song, I put the show in jeopardy, because I simply can’t pull off starting this show the way it was intended. After rehearsing the song for my mother and sister, who are always supportive, they said, “You are not going to sing that song at church, are you?”

I just moved from Nashville where I had coached 100s of country singers for almost thirty years. I know what a country singer should sound like. I am not one of them. Country is not in my blood. When I would try to demonstrate for one of my country singers, I would have to mimic what I thought the song should sound like. In other words, there was no real place of authenticity to go to get to the sound I needed, so I had to play a role for which I would never be cast. As I would listen to myself or hear myself on rehearsal recordings demonstrating, I would always cringe listening.

Many people play parts in life that they simply were not cast for. I see this most often with family men in their mid-thirties to fifty. Most of the guys I have seen over the years for life coaching were younger men when they got married in a time when marriage was a given, especially in rich cultural instances.

After having a family, these men don’t have the ability to pursue new work, because they can’t chance not having an income for their young families. They often can’t move somewhere else on a whim. They certainly wouldn’t leave the wife and kids, because they no longer want the responsibility. So, they simply feel stuck with the cards they had dealt themselves.

In a world where most young people don’t get married till their late twenties and thirties, now, the older men look with awe at the young people taking time to discover themselves and their passions. Depressed men in the late thirties to fifty range are in epidemic proportions. We don’t hear much about this depression, because no fathers and husbands are willing to admit it to anyone, not even their wives. They would much rather immerse themselves into sports, addictive behavior, philandering, and simple emotional negligence, than abandon their responsibilities to their loving families.

In some ways, you have to applaud their fortitude. In six days, my commitment to this project and being cast in the wrong role will be over, and I’ll go on my merry way, trying not to get stuck in the same situation again. Helping men find hope for their lives who have chosen paths outside of their passion is the hardest place a coach has to go, because not many choices exist for these men.

Lack of options is usually why most people get depressed in the first place. So, a good life coach tries to help a depressed person find healthy options and new ways of looking at old paradigms. Most times, I have asked the men to take time out for themselves and do something selfish and impassioned. But, even then, a lot of men don’t have the extra time or money to do anything more than what they already do to keep the family and home running appropriately, working on the house and the yard on their time off from a fifty-hour work week and wearing clothes from the Thrift Store, to have the money to buy their children school clothes and books.

The one bit of advice I can give to anyone in this situation is to get real and stay real. Be honest with the people around you, if it’s at all possible. If you don’t find honesty is a possibility, find someone who will listen to your gripes and help you see a brighter future ahead, even if it’s just a friend. Sometimes, just getting to voice your thoughts helps extinguish them. Often, one of those fathers will hear the sound of his child saying, “I love you, Daddy!” and everything will feel better for the moment. They realize that the bigger picture is not completely about their own happiness.

Depression about life is often lifted when a client does charity work or feeds the poor. You can get a true perspective on life when you get out of your own comfort zone and look at the bigger picture. Know, too, that most commitments have an ending. Look toward to that end and know that eventually you will be able to make stronger choices for yourself, even if your time is years away.

I had one fifty-five-year-old single father just marry off his last son. He told me that, finally, he was going to sell his house, get a condo, and begin to search for a suitable mate. This was a guy I dated in the midst of his large responsibility. I remember that I never got to be first in his life. As a result, I moved on. The guy he chooses now will be lucky to have this man. He is a great person. Without the burden of children and a home, I’m sure he will be a much better companion and mate.

GLUTEN FREE COVERBilly Ray's Secret CoverThe_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_Kindle

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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Singing Karaoke on Easter Eve: Being Your Authentic Self! #livingoutloud #dating #outofcomfortzone #Easter #findingauthenticyou

I would not have imagined that, on Easter Eve, I would be dining 30 minutes south of Atlanta in a small Mexican Restaurant singing Karaoke with two very old friends and a new friend, the fiancée of one of those friends. We laughed until we cried, beneath the caterwauling of many large southern cowgirls singing their country faves. Tonight, was an authentic evening just waiting to happen. All I had to do was be there.

You see, I have promised myself that life would not be about “trying” to have fun anymore. Life is about “being” fun wherever I go. So, tonight, despite the fact that I really only knew two songs in the entire Karaoke book, I took to the stage with gusto and belted out a couple songs purely for fun. I have to admit, I did sing: “You Raise Me Up!” for the holiday. You know what? I actually had fun singing, for the first time in a long time. I stopped judging myself and having to be perfect. All I had to be in that moment was me. As I did so, I gave everyone else in the room permission to be their authentic selves.

I have realized that in many places in life, pushing one’s behavior beyond truth, prodding at fame, and trying to kill your self to be perfect is a useless sense of energy. No one really cares if you’re perfect, but you. In fact, when you appear that you are trying to be anything more than real, your actions read as unauthentic. So, as in life also in mind! The result of trying to be more than you are will leave you anxious and painfully fearful of not being accepted by the masses.

On the Eve of Easter, I think about what Jesus felt during his time on earth. How long did it take the Son of God to accept his destiny? How many times did life come at him with false accusations as, “You aren’t the Son of God?” “Who died and made you God?” Can you imagine his best friends and family, the ones who were privy to his body odor and eating habits and grew up next his bad behavior? Did they think, the audacity of this man to think He is something special?

Some people I know drop me like a meatball off of a spoon when I offer up the newest insights coming from my Spirit. Most people I know, too well, aren’t prepared for me to be anything but a human man acting as a human being. But people who barely know me, standing at arm’s distance, tend to not judge by my appearance. Don’t the scriptures say that Jesus wasn’t accepted in his own village? This is truer than anyone would want to believe. You will find it difficult enough to simply be who you were made to be, but now you must do it in front of the people who love you and will judge you most. Being authentic to your calling is the hardest place to stand, sometimes.

About 10 years ago, I woke up to an angel or spirit asking me to sit at my computer and write. About eight hours later, I had finished a book that I soon hope to publish called: Theoraphasz: God Speaks in the Final Phase of Human Development. The hardest part of about publishing this particular book is that, in so doing, I have to ask my friends and family to believe that an angel actually spoke to me, personally. A gay man, nonetheless! Most people in the world will scoff, I imagine, especially men and women of God who expect God to come through the purest of normalcy. Publishing this book has taken me 10 years and accepting only my truest Authentic Self and my Divine Destiny, and believing I, too, am perfect in God’s eyes. I have nothing to lose now. So, I will go forth as intended.
Be looking for it on Amazon in about a month.

Finding Authentic You, which is the name of my new book and self guide, meant to help you uncover the most distinct you, unlock all of your negative thinking, and help you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship is a fairly easy task.

Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download version.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

New UPDATED Link to Both the KIndle and the Paperback version of my book.

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

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