Tag: living life in the now

What I Never Expected

The expected rarely happens in life. With most of what we intend and set out to do, the exact opposite usually happens. Case and point: I put my sister—whom I love and trust—in charge of finding an apartment for me in Florida. When my nephew initially drove his car through the entrance gates, as it was a gloomy and a rainy day, I sensed an expectation about to be dashed. I walked to the door of my new apartment through a maze of dank hallways. As my sister, Cheryl, had already moved in with no furniture, because I had it all on a truck in transit, the home was filled with a sole folding tables, a borrowed ugly chair, a plastic blue child’s table, yellow bedroom furniture, a blow-up bed, and literally, boxes set up to be furniture. I felt I had arrived into an abandoned slum, and I was about to play war with the angry, apparently, huge dogs barking and trying to knock down my neighbor’s door. I’m thinking, but you said this had wood floors and granite countertops. It had linoleum, fake wood floors. It did have the granite countertops and a cheap stainless kitchen, but it wasn’t so nice and certainly not roomy, as promised in the pictures.

I had just sold my beautiful home in a great neighborhood in Nashville with five gardens, to be jammed into a 1000 sq. ft apartment with a patio the size of small rug. I felt like I had stepped down fourteen notches to Slum Dog Millionaire status. Every hope had been dashed. My blood sugar was low, because I hadn’t eaten since a smoothie before I jumped on the first leg of the flight to Atlanta, only after being informed by a good friend at 5:30 a.m. that a truck had blown up under a supporting bridge on the main Interstate to get to the airport. During rush hour, morning traffic, we would have to inch our way to the Nashville Airport for almost two hours. We did, however, get to the airport on time, as I had downloaded the Delta App for my phone and checked in for my flight online, simply swiped my phone under the pass reader, and took to my seat carrying my trusty computer bag. My other piece of baggage, I was informed, would have to be put under the plane, fortunately for no extra cost.

The first flight to Atlanta took as long as it did for my computer to boot up. My layover was supposed to be exactly 20 minutes in Atlanta, so I had to rush to the subway to another hub and get to Gate 3, which wasn’t a far reach from the train. However, when I got there, frustrated passengers fidgeted, as something had just been announced that I wasn’t privy to: The plane was being examined for a possible mechanical problem.

Ninety minutes later, we were ushered to Gate 23 only to wait again for a new plane; this one, hopefully, without mechanical issues. I still hadn’t eaten, because I was still full from the protein-fortified smoothie that was only eight dollars. So, I got on the tw0-hour plane flight with only a handful of almonds. By the time I got to Ft. Lauderdale, through a severe storm that diverted the plane five minutes after us to Oralando, I kissed the wet, Ft. Lauderdale ground.

Even the weather wasn’t sunny, as I had dreamed, when I got off of the plane. It was torrential. Honestly, it was as if every power on earth had been working against me to get to Florida, yesterday. As still as I had tried to be through the malaise of negative elements, when I hit the apartment, I was hungry and completely dismayed. What had I done? I moved to a place I had never seen, which had little to no room for any of my furniture and beautiful art. While in Nashville, my sister had told me that the master bedroom may not be as big as expected, but, I had a plan. If it were too small, I could have a small loft built for my bed to create more space for a little man cave, where I could meditate and watch television. The ceiling was so low in the bedroom. I could reach up and touch it with my hand. Every plan was crumbling before my eyes.

I told my nephew to take me to get some dinner, as I thought maybe food would make the apartment look different, or, at least, change my attitude. After a great Cuban meal, I did see from a different perspective, thankfully. When my baby sister arrived at the apartment with my mom, we all began to laugh, almost immediately, and suddenly, I realized why I had sacrificed my comfortable life and business to move here. It wasn’t for the apartment, for my expectations of my living situation, which will probably end up looking pretty awesome after I decorate it, but for my amazing family and the love and security I always feel when I’m around them.

We spent the rest of the evening planning where the movers would place all of our belongings and building my sister’s futon, which she had bought at Wal-Mart and was made up of 100 moving parts. Lori and I started out frustrated, then every comment about screwing harder, jamming this in there, and put that in that part in this bigger hole, became fodder for hysteria. Even my mom joined in, as she murmured, “You all are crazy!”

I was fortunate to be home. Yes, when I let go of my expectation, when I reached into my soul for God’s guiding hand, I realized that no matter how hard it was to get here, no matter how small the apartment, I arrived safely and into the hands of people who gathered me closely and into loving arms. I traded my Nashville tribe of friends for my beautiful family that God will lead me into this encore career of my life. I’m blessed. Truly blessed.


Billy Ray's Secret Cover

This Novel is about a young boy growing up in small-town America, being gay and having a Baptist minister father and a mother who hides whiskey in his room. He never knew what to expect, but looked at life with innocence enough that life changed for him. 


[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]



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Incarnational Spirituality

If we are spirits dwelling in a human form, then by nature, we are spirit incarnate. So, all of our actions here on earth are actually incarnational spirituality. We must use our human form to communicate, act, and function in a spiritual way. This is like training a dog to do tricks. Our human body is basically animal. We hunger, we respond sexually, and spend most of our days on earth trying to survive. This, by definition, is an animal state.

So, when you start to think about it, why would an all-knowing God put a perfect spirit in the form of an intelligent animal? Wouldn’t you think that most of our spiritual questions would be answered if we understood this conundrum?

Spirits dwelling in body is the struggle we face every day. You can’t have an epiphany one day and expect that your body will change its physical state every day, thereafter. It’s almost as if, you have to command your human mind to understand by stating your theory over and over again, before your body and brain make a permanent change. Even then, all change has to be considered in the deductive mind every day, which is likely to overthrow the spirit if you have a bad day or a frustrating one.

The only way I can make sense of this conundrum is to remember a quote from a friend who passed away of colon cancer a couple years ago. Before her diagnosis, she often told me that life was so hard that she wouldn’t mind being back with God in spirit. Death didn’t scare her. That was, until she actually was about to die. Then she did everything she could to stay alive. She said of life in her final year: “You never understand the meaning of your humanity, until it is being taken away from you. You look at the sunrise, at flowers, at friendships, and family with a different set of spiritual eyes!”

If you think about it, when someone begins to diminish physically with stage four cancer, the body—or the ego—gets weak. If the body gets weak, what would you imagine would get stronger? Exactly right… the spirit.

So, suddenly, when the ego diminished, she saw that life wasn’t about the constant battle to stay peaceful in the chaos. Life actually was enjoying her humanity and dancing in the chaos.

I had another dear friend who died of prostate cancer. He was a Trappist monk for forty years, then eventually married a nun. As George Fowler was dying, he wrote a book called: Learning to Dance Inside, which you can find on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Dance-Inside-Getting-Meditation/dp/0156005247/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379171367&sr=1-3&keywords=george+fowler. In the book George talks of the ways to release from the desire to satisfy your yearning to be the perfect spiritual person by taking away all that you love and enjoy. He remarks that you must learn to dance in your human body and enjoy everyday.

But I believe the only way you can do that is by getting to the place in life where you accept your blemishes, accept your humanness, and find a way to see life through your spiritual eyes while living in the body, perfectly content to live, but compassionately overseeing it with the eyes of spirit.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

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