Last night I had the most transparent conversation I had ever had in my life. I shared from the deepest place of insecurity and pain. Yet, it was as if I began to rise from my own body, out of the shadows of my own humanity, and into the arms of the truest, #deepestLove I’ve ever experienced. Allowing light into the depths of my insecurity allowed healing to begin in ways unexplainable.
I’ve always known that true love would be a place of #divine_healing. You find that person with whom you can tell your life story and he not only doesn’t blink. He completely understands. Some kind of deep sense of security builds to a place where you begin to erect the foundation of a church where only you and he can enter, pray, and feel the presence of Divine Energy heal you. I’ve known it existed, but never experienced it to the extent that I recently have.
In the past, love had always begun with attraction. From that attraction, intimacy grew (usually physical intimacy). From that physical intimacy, the feeling of security began to gestate. However, by the time I was sharing my most intimate thoughts, I was also wondering if that one new love with whom I was developing feeling would leave or abandon me if he or she didn’t resonate with my story.
So, I colored my story, created shades of truth that can be switched, shifted, and changed if things didn’t go right in the telling. I’ve lived my life on this premise. I have spent years in relationship (up to 8 years) never sharing my deepest fears or my shallowest thoughts. Because of my mistake about relationship, I must share my experience.
When you start from the premise of securing the right of passage to your secret place in the heart with someone, BEFORE you express sexuality and sensuality, true intimacy happens authentically.
I liken this to planting a seed in the beautiful, hearty soil. We don’t get to tell the seed when to sprout, when to take root, stay alive or die, to flower, or bear fruit. The seed and the earth do this in authentic timing, in the perfect timing. When you are anxious for relationship and love, you may find yourself forcing the natural law of action. When you are experiencing avoidant love, you may find yourself never staying around long enough to see if your love can bear fruit.
However, when you find security in a friendship, the foundation you lay in your life is preeminently the place where all good things grow and have room to flourish. This is true love. This is the kind of love that marriage ultimately should be.
If you read my Easter blog yesterday (“Risen”), you can see in this blog that sometimes marriage takes you down paths that crack you open and give you the opportunity to grow if you take it. My husband and I experienced and felt we had a death, buried it, and resurrected it in the short time I was in the hospital over Easter weekend. Our Easter experience was unlike anything we have ever had known. For this, I’m thankful for waking up with the worst pain in my heart, for being forced to take an Uber to the Emergency room at 5:30 a.m., and for being poked and prodded for hours with machines and needles.
Love cracked me open and found a place that I hadn’t given over to the process. Love searched my heart, knew my desire for total transparency, and provided the perfect place, the securest place to transform and evolve. Who would have imagined it would have been in the four desolate walls of a hospital room?
Love has found me. Love has awakened my heart. Today I stand taller, feel happier, and expect more of life than I have ever expected. Today, I challenge you to plant the seeds of authentic, secure love.
Don’t hasten to watch them grow. Let nature take its course. Keep your heart open. Keep your mind open to experiences you wouldn’t usually allow for yourself.
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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books!
You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
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Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!