Since I was a small tike in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, I have always been the kind of boy who barely listened. Instead, I looked around for a place to escape. I filled my mind with the idea that I always needed a secure space to hide incase of danger, which always seemed to happen. From alcoholic outrage to parental fights to physical and emotional abuse, life was plagued with the IDEA that no safe haven existed for me—not even in my mind.
Even as an adult, holding on to negativity is one of my worst habits. If someone harms me, I find myself slipping into rancor and hateful, vengeful thoughts, taking up for myself, because I simply couldn’t do that as a child. But, now, the habit is to fill my mind with negativity so I don’t have to look at my own issues of drawing negativity to me, holding it there, and acting as if it’s normal.
I look at a plastic bottle of water sitting empty on the table. I have the opportunity to throw it away, refill it with some water from the spigot, or fill it with purified water from the filtration system. Which would you choose? Most often in life, we tend to fill the bottle with caustic, sink water because it is free, easy, and most available. But, if the bottle is full with just any kind of water, we have no opportunity to fill it with pure water that may be better, healthier, and more pleasant to the taste. The mind is similar in nature.
If the mind is full of angry, stressful thoughts, or even a deluge of work to do, then no time exists for self-assessment, which is necessary to stay healthy, and more specifically, to grow spiritually and mentally.
I have a friend who screwed me over last year and really hurt my feelings. Instead of holding out for revenge, I took the high road and became vulnerable, which I thought was growth. “What you did really hurt me,” I said to him. “I trusted you, and you treated me like I was an inanimate object!”
To his detriment, his theory from AA is to apologize without even thinking. “I hurt you. You shouldn’t trust an addict. We will always hurt you, because we love our addiction more than we love our friends and family. Forgive me.”
I spent a month or two avoiding him and taking leave of the friendship, but eventually let him back into my life to tell me his story and to create some closure. But, what I noticed was that he continued to treat me like a tool the entire time we continued our friendship. He was perfectly nice, helpful, but never gave, only took emotionally. When he shared from the heart, he was usually telling me what I do wrong. Eventually, I had to cut my ties.
The reason I stopped seeing him was to protect myself. But even more importantly, I had to put a halt to the thought process that went along with me keeping this person in my life. I filled my mind with guilt thoughts about not being able to do the Christian thing and forgive. I imagined our relationship working out a different way. I considered that maybe he could love me, even though… yada yada yada.
In other words, I kept my mind full of the past. So, what do you think my bottle of water looked like after a month of this? Full, yes, but muddy and murky. Eventually, I had to empty the bottle or throw out the bottle so that I would be able to allow something better and more secure into my life. I deserve better. You deserve better. But our thoughts are the very thing that can prevent good from coming into our life—simply from holding on to the past.
Today, when you think of anything from the past that colludes in your mind, simply stop and tell the thought, “You have taken enough of my time, my life, and my energy! I let you go and allow myself to be open and vulnerable to the NOW, knowing that good and the best is always available for me at any moment. I am One in God. God is founded in pure love and exponential energy to create new and secure relationships for me always. I trust in that spiritual law.
A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.
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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian
What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian
Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via SKYPE or FACETIME.)
If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/.
Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]