Tag: Mother

The Difference in a Word

The Difference in a Word.

It has been said that nowhere in the world can you learn the lessons of the heart faster than in relationship. I’ll have to say that is completely true. I’m amazed at how easy it is, after not living with someone for 10 years, to walk away and forget to say “I love you” or even say “good-bye.”

The difference one word can make in a conversation that can appear to be tenuous, and really isn’t is quite amazing.

My partner and I had a funny moment this morning when he thought I was upset that he was upset (frustrated at a computer malfunction) because I didn’t kiss him goodbye when I took my mother to the shoe store.

I seriously didn’t have a clue anything was wrong with him. He was having anxiety because he thought I was upset that he was upset. I felt bad. But we both laughed as we discussed how not to let that happen again.

My mind was simply on appeasing my 80-year-old mother. She can be demanding when she has to go somewhere for an appointment. LOL  My life!

But one word could have made a difference. A kiss could have made a difference. A smile could have made a difference. We forget that communication is the key to a good relationship, especially after you have been in one for a long time.

The majority of my clients have been in long-term relationships. Each of them can tell myriad of stories about how each partner has gone weeks without even speaking. Crazy stuff, especially when you are raising children.

Communication is important on all levels: at work, at home, with yourself, with your children. You must trust your emotions enough to speak what you feel and follow up with the actions that show you mean what you say, loving or when your are putting up safe boundaries.

Love yourself enough today to do this functional necessity. And love someone else in your life enough to say that one word that lets him or her know you care!


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Who’s Your Momma?

Who’s Your Mamma?

Today is the day we celebrate mothers or the people in our lives who have been surrogate mothers. Let’s hear it for a compassionate heart, the loving like no other special love could, the healing with a tender hand, the telling us like it is, and the giving us human life!

There is nothing like a mother, especially when she lives up to the role.

I’m blessed to have a mother who, though she left six children because of a painful divorce, has found her way back to my life and has recreated motherhood and healed all the tender places my life had been broken because of her departure.

It is never too late to be who you are intended to be. That’s the lesson I have learned from my mother. She has told me that her intention when she left, was to leave my father and find a place for us. She was going to get all her children back.

But my father found a way to stop her and scared the beJesus out of all of us children. He told us we couldn’t see her or talk to her. I remember thinking I would be put in jail if I talked with her. So, I didn’t see my mother for 6 of my formative years, until she found a way (God found a way) to get Mom back into our lives.

Soon after we moved back in with her, I moved to college, she moved to Arizona and I spent most of my adulthood not knowing my mother. But, again, God found a way to heal a much needed feeling of abandonment when my sister Cheryl moved to Arizona and my mother asked me if she could move into my apartment attached to my house.

During the last 4 years I have found the mother I lost when I was a child, and she has rediscovered the son she had to leave because of a painful marriage. Everyone who meets my mother now calls her Mom. She is cool. She is loving. She if funny. She is mostly the one who accepts everyone I bring into our lives as her child.

She is Mother.


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