Tag: Pain

If God Be For Me & If God Before Me…

In times past, as some of you know, I have been a minister in Christian churches; pentecostal, nondenominational, Unity, and even Disciples of Christ. So, for a scripture to come to me in the middle of the night or during a meditation is not uncommon.

As I have gone further away from my Christian upbringing to atest to the fact the many religions teach the same concepts as Christianity and even go deeper into aspects that traditional Christianity strays from; meditation, creating with our words, and considering ourselves as part of the One Mind of God.

These alternative concepts in Eastern religions have kept me from reading the “Word of God” as many Christians refer to the Christian bible. I have not been of the belief that the only Word of God exists in the Christian bible for at least 25 years.

I believe that there are many places beside the Christian doctrines that God exists. However, last night in prayer, I was asking questions of myself and of Spirit about some fears I have been having of late, when I heard a very clear voice say, as it says in the book of Romans, verse 31 in the Christian bible:

“What shall we then say to these things?
If God be for you, who can be against you?”

My heart immediately settled upon this pertinent question. I have studied all aspects of this scripture from the polar opposite to the exact meaning. I don’t believe anyone quite had come close to explaining what I felt in my heart yesterday after hearing an angel whisper this in my ear. I pray I can maintain the peace that settled on my body and heart throughout the night.

As I slept, I had a dream that I was also asleep during a large explosion. I remember walking out from the war torn building and not even noticing the destruction. I didn’t feel pain, so I attempted to go on my way, which was to church, apparently.

As I walked through the parking lot from my car to the front door of the church people began to stare. One woman finally said, “Are you really going to go into the church looking like that?”

I hurried to the bathroom mirror in the church and saw that my entire head had been cracked open, even eschewed on the right side from being a mirror opposite of the left. My hair looked as if it had been teased. My face was bloodied around the mouth and cheeks.

I decided, though I didn’t feel any pain, I should still go to the emergency room. I was immediately admitted and looked after. My physical body was torn apart, bloodied, but I could still feel no pain. I heard one doctor say to another, “Maybe the patient can’t feel the pain because the nerves are detached from his body. If we put him back together he will immediately feel pain again.” So, the doctors decided to clean me, tend to my wounds, but leave my head unbalanced, the left side lower than the right.

Time had passed in the dream. I saw myself later in movies and as a spokesman on television still having this horrible deformity. However, it was as if this deformity added to the message I was to share with the public. Makeup artists preparing actors for the films didn’t cover my wounds. They let me be exactly who I had become with the wounds.

I thought about the dream for a long time, as I often do for myself and my clients, interpreting he salient parts of the dream. I believe that the subconscious and often Spirit speaks through dreams, which are unfiltered by our conscious brain.


Being in the middle of a war zone and feeling no pain, ending up walking out of an explosion without pain is a metaphor of being in the constant covering of God’s Loving Armor. Also, not even noticing the smoking and destroyed building is a metaphor for keeping my mind on my truths, not what I see on the news.

Going to church immediately after this event is a metaphor of the judgment that the church has brought to my life, perhaps as a homosexual or as an apostate who had strayed from the pure “Word of God” to find other paths of truth. (No people have hurt my heart more than the church has. I have been wounded more times than you know trying to be a minister of my Truth.) The fact that I wanted to go to church, even though I was completely war torn signifies that I may feel I have something to prove to those what had judged me.

Going to the hospital and having doctors decide to leave my body as is and just tend to the wounds, so that I could stay out of pain is also another metaphor of God’s grace. This helps me realize that it matters not what I look like. I am covered. (IF GOD BE FOR ME.. ) God can use anyone, anywhere to deliver a message of peace, joy, love and compassion, as long as the soul is willing.

The greatest message for me to reflect upon in this dream is that I was perfect fine with my face being destroyed. This accident or getting my face destroyed did not stop the work I had set out to do. In fact, it only gave me more confidence in the power within to do whatever I’m to do no matter what the outside circumstances look like.

If God be For ME…. If God goes before me>>>>

Either way you say it or think it, who or what can be against me?



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How to Measure Pain

If you’ve been at a doctor in the past five years, you realize that the medical industry is more interested in knowing your assessment of your own pain than ever before. For instance, you may go into the ER and say, “I’m having a really bad migraine. Can you help me?”

Medical practitioner or nurse on duty responds: “Describe this pain on a scale of 1-10 if 10 is the worst pain you have ever felt.”

This change in practice is a relief to me who feels pain about 5-10 times more than most, because I have a condition called “Sensory Defensiveness.” This means my neural pathways fire much more quickly than most people. I can smell better, taste better, feel the slightest touch, and sometimes even have very intuitive or empathic senses, as well.

Does this 6th sense come from being too sensitive? No one really knows for sure. But I do know a great many empaths are sensory defensive.

From the time I was a little boy, I couldn’t stand to play hard or tumble or fall. I also disliked most food because of texture and smell. I was sensitive to cigarette smoke and had allergies that kept me inside most of the time. I felt fragile and, in fact, was called names because I couldn’t play like a boy.

Now, because I practice yoga and I’m a vegan, most people ask me why I take medication, almost as if they are incredulous that I could possibly put a pill in my mouth.

For this reason, I write this article. You can live the healthiest life known to man, but have genes that give you the propensity to have arthritis, heart issues, high cholesterol, and even psychiatric issues. No matter your belief about binding and barring the past from affecting your present, genetics are passed down from generations. Denying this would be like saying an African American man and and Asian Woman could have an Italian baby. Genetics are not only looks, they are chromosomes built into the very DNA fabric of our lives—the good and the bad. Knowing this, you may perceive my story to be similar to yours, or you just might understand the dynamics of pain. Either way, I’m glad you’re reading this article.

I saw my mother and father begin to develop problems much like their parents. At only 19 years old, I decided to be a vegetarian. I committed to a life without medicine, as well. I even tried to use any and all homeopathic and medical alternative instead of traditional medicine.

Many people came to me with problems during that time. I would help them modify their diets, their exercise plans, the vitamins, and start on holistic treatment. Never did I imagine that I would wake up one day and barely be able to get out of bed from so much pain. Never did I believe that I would be doing something as simple as vacuuming and would end up on my back in pain for a week. This couldn’t be possible, and yet, there it was.

Still, it took me trying every modality of alternative medicine and four years of teaching my yoga classes every day without traditional medical intervention. After the fourth year I had had enough. The first doctor I went to was a sports medicine doctor. I told him of my pain at 40. He asked me to bend over slowly and try to touch my toes. As I said, I was a still teaching yoga, so I was limber and in pain at the same time. I bent down and put my palms to floor fairly easily. The doctor politely said, “Get out of my office!” He didn’t understand my pain. In fact, it took a very kind and empathetic nurse practitioner to actually listen one year later.

My angel practitioner started off with blood tests. From their, she thought I may have a tumor on my brain. After an MRI, I was diagnosed as having an under-active pituitary gland.  I was sent to an Endocrinologist who immediately started me on a testosterone replacement program. The same nurse practitioner also helped me to understand my depression from this same pain and how the three migraines I was getting a week may be a result of little serotonin to the brain and lots of pain.

However, until I actually saw a rheumatologist years later, I received the diagnosis of having Osteoarthritis. There are no disease-modifying medications available to reverse or eliminate osteoarthritis or centralized pain syndrome, There are effective medications available to treat inflammatory forms of arthritis and related diseases. Reducing inflammation will help reduce your pain. So, the drugs that are used to reduce problems with arthritis are for generally for those with Rheumatoid arthritis. Most people with any other kind of arthritic pain must use pain medication to eliminate the problem. (All information in this article about medication came from Arthritis.org.)

So, the rollercoaster begins.

Medications you take by mouth, rub on the skin over the joint or have injected into a joint include the following:

  • Acetaminophen is an over-the-counter (OTC) analgesic that helps to relieve pain and reduce fever.
  • Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) are available over the counter and by prescription. OTC NSAIDs relieve pain and reduce fever. Prescription-strength NSAIDs can both relieve pain and reduce the inflammation that causes pain.
  • Topical pain relievers may contain combinations of NSAIDs, salicylates, skin irritants and local anesthetics that temporarily relieve pain. Salicylates make it harder for nerve endings in the skin to sense pain. Irritants stimulate nerve endings to cause feelings of cold, warmth or itching, which distract attention from the actual pain. Some topical pain relievers contain capsaicin (the chemical that makes chili peppers taste hot), which blocks pain messages to the brain.
  • Sedatives and sleep medications can help you get more restorative sleep, helping to break that part of the pain chain.
  • Anti-seizure medications can be used to treat neuropathic pain and centralized pain through their effects on the central nervous system.
  • Antidepressants are used to interrupt pain signals in the central nervous system.
  • Opioid pain relievers work on receptors located in the nerve pathways that start in the brain and move to the joints and other tissues.
  • Corticosteroids are medications that mimic the effects of the hormone cortisol, which is produced naturally by the adrenal glands. Taken orally, given by infusion or injected directly into inflamed joints, they can quickly bring down inflammation and ease pain.
  • Viscosupplementation involves injecting the lubricating substance hyaluronic acid into the knee to ease movement of the joint and relieve pain.

I was placed on sleep medication, because the pain woke me up throughout the night. I was encouraged to stay on the antidepressant. I was given Tramadol to help with the pain. I was allowed 8 a day. After trying to slowly integrate the medicine and assess the pain, I ended up taking the smallest amount of antidepressant, a light sleep aid, and 3 Tramadol a day to feel normal again.

So, when I say that I feel normal, I don’t mean high. I mean that I experience little to no pain. I have simple aches and pains, as one would at 56, but I don’t fret about them unless they are becoming worse every day.

You see, many people who are young, been living holistic lives, and have a disdain for Western Medicine have a real distaste for pills. I feel as if I need to write this to help me people understand, some people, even the ones who have vowed against them, may be the ones who need them the most.

For me, this is Spiritual Growth at its best. I don’t know of too many times in my life that I have sworn off something that Spirit hasn’t shown me my fragile, judgy little human mind  just how wrong I can be.

Let’s take care of ourselves and stop judging others. We can’t get inside anyone else’s mind and decide what’s best for them. Nor can tell each other what to think or how to respond. 


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Why This Nagging Back Pain?

 I am a very fit and active man who has been dealing with severe arthritic pain for almost 15 years, which means I began to feel pain at the age of 40. I remember distinctly thinking when I was young:

  • You will not get all of the diseases that Mom and Dad and your grandparents had!
  • You are not subject to the genes of your relatives!
  • You will be a vegetarian!
  • You are a yogi.
  • You will not take medication.
  • You will be holistic!

None of these New Thought/Holistic ideas helped me when my body decided I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning to teach my yoga class. Soon after the symptoms, I went to a renowned physician for the problem. When the young, hip physician to the stars entered the examination room, he asked me about my pain. I told him it was becoming debilitating. To that, he asked me to try to touch my toes.

I stood up, bent forward and did a forward fold that made my palms go well beyond the floor. He responded: “Get out of my office!” Literally, dismissing me. No joke, here.


I was confused and didn’t understand my condition. I simply dealt with the pain as best as I could for well over 5 years. I would wake up and barely be able to get out of bed. The pain, however, would subside to about 50% after I walked around for 15 minutes. Teaching my yoga class became more and more difficult. In fact, with certainty, I know I shouldn’t have been doing half of my regular yoga practice. But, I thought the exercise would be good for my pain, when it was actually exasperating it.

I tried all of the holistic approaches:

  1. massage,
  2. acupuncture,
  3. acupressure,
  4. chiropractic, and
  5. any herb that remotely could help with arthritis I took regularly.

Still, the symptoms worsened. Finally, I got a new doctor as a part of my medical insurance that required me to get 2 check-ups a year. The doctor was a young pup of a resident and took almost an hour to consult with me about every ache and pain. As I described my joint pain to him, he unexpectedly appeared extremely compassionate.

“Yes,” he said, “I understand exactly what you are experiencing. Sounds like arthritic pain. You say here on your intake form that both of your parents have arthritis. It’s very likely that this gene has been passed along to you.”

“But,” I replied, “I do this and that and yadda yadda…. I have been doing everything correct my entire life!”

He replied, “What you do to prevent disease often doesn’t help the fact that you are just genetically prone to getting a disease. Many people die of heart disease who have been heart healthy their entire lives. Let’s talk about treating this problem.”

This is when I began to tear up and think, I guess I had at least try this course of action, as nothing else has helped my pain. The doctor tried a couple of medications that treated arthritic and neuropathic pain (Lyrica and Neurontin), but those caused me to have spatial distortion (I couldn’t distinguish how close or far I was from objects, which posed a severe problem with driving). I couldn’t take a drug that stopped the pain triggers, so we simply treated the pain with Tramadol, a non-narcotic pain inhibitor.

Honestly, after I began taking just 2 Tramadol a day, I felt so euphoric and pain free that I had actually forgotten how wonderful life felt without dealing with pain constantly. Nothing else changed in my life. All that I did was accept that I had arthritis and decided to treated it chemically. To this, I found myself thanking not only the doctor but God. That’s how relieved I was that I wouldn’t have to suffer the rest of my life with debilitating pain.

I’m writing this article because of how many friends and readers I have who are very holistic and vegan and true to their beliefs that everything in life can be treated without medicine. This may be true for some. But for someone with arthritic pain and who is also Sensory Defensive, the pain is too much to bear. I always tell my clients that when you need to seek traditional medical advice, it’s ok. You have done your best to try all of the other modalities. God and Spirit has provided another option and it’s okay to take this option. You don’t have to live with pain! Ever!


GIVING AND RECEIVING IN LIFE IS OFTEN DIFFICULT. I have been giving from my heart about 2-3 hours a day for 7 years to create advice–spirit, mind and body for millions of readers. Recently, I have been led to ask people to give back as a way for me to learn how to receive.

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You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!



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