Tag: parts therapy

Canvassing the Past! #anxiety #change #livingintheNOW

In traditional therapy, most people spend a lot of time digging up graves from the past, canvassing the surrounding areas for incriminating evidence as to who was responsible, and then allowing emotions to rise to be healed. I wonder if this old tradition is foolproof. How much of the past is worthy of our amazing present; and, by blaming others, can we honestly take control of our own lives?

Immersing yourself in a feeling is a good idea, WHEN it happens. But, wallowing in it may be the beginning of your demise. A healthy recollection of a moment or catching yourself in the middle of a PTSD trigger can actually help you train your neural pathways for different reactions. Reliving them over and over again cannot help change anything. Doing the latter, you will spend the next ten years in therapy and never move past your negative feelings and blame to take responsibility for your own life.

I speak from experience. I had been abused sexually, emotionally, and physically as a child. I was left by my mother at eight, lived with a raging and abusive alcoholic after that, and was abused sexually by two different men. For many years during therapy, I thought I would never be rid of the ugly, dirty shame that came up from all that went wrong in my past. Then I was introduced to New Thought Religion and, also, alternative therapies for PTSD, including hypnosis, parts therapy, and IFS (Internal Family Systems). All of these modalities and changing my religion helped me so much that I don’t even think about blame anymore. I take complete control of my life now and don’t allow anyone in my life that will seek to control me or push me back into the darkness of my past.

All of you are smart enough to Google all of the above modalities, so I won’t bore you with the particulars of each therapies. I’ll simply say that if you have been spending your life canvassing your past to find cause and blame, you will be digging up graves for the rest of your life. Everything in your past was for a purpose, even the ugliest of moments.

We grew. We matured. We learned to gain strength in the face of distress. We are works of art because of the chiseling tool of the past. It’s time to look at your beautiful life in this moment and start from here to rebuild, take notice, or simply give some well deserved thanks to all that has happened to you to create this wonderfully unique individual.

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A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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Beautiful Bird 

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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In My Earthly Temple Is a Crowd #internalfamily #IFS #Partstherapy

In each of us exists a myriad of ideas and thoughts. To understand which thoughts are yours and which are just floating through the universe, you must comprehend the human mind and its many attributes. One particular part of the thought process is actually a combination of many smaller parts. In psychology this is called Parts Therapy or Internal Family Systems (IFS).

Within each of our minds there are parts. Each part exists for a specific purpose. For instance, if you were called names as a child, you may have a “part” that encouraged you to not pay attention to the mean kids. This kind of a part was a helper.

You may also have developed a part that was equally judgmental as the children in the playground, accusing you of being not good enough—even into adulthood. Identifying these parts and putting a face or name to them may help you recover from self-deprecating thoughts or feelings of insecurity. This kind of therapy is called Parts Therapy in hypnosis and in psychology Internal Family Systems.

Here is an example about how this kind of therapy may apply to you: You have been having indiscriminate sex with many partners lately. You can’t seem to get enough intimacy to make you feel good enough or pretty enough. You recognize you have a problem with your overactive libido, so you see a therapist. The therapist uses IFS and discovers that you have a part named Joe, who never felt handsome enough to attract a boyfriend or girlfriend. He was made fun of for being overweight. He has continued with you into adulthood.

In your present adult self, you are buff and take care of your body at the gym everyday. You look amazing, but you can’t get rid of the feeling that you are not handsome enough. In fact, this feeling fuels your attraction to the gym. Every rep you do on a weight machine has the thought behind it, “I’ll show them who’s not hot enough!”

You are like the person who had a large nose and had plastic surgery. But every time she looked in the mirror, she saw herself with the larger nose. She couldn’t see herself as the beautiful new woman with a smaller nose.

Each of us has a myriad of voices in our minds. No, you are not psychotic or have multiple personalities unless you find that you lose time (actually forget where you were—or blackout) while you experience another personality. Having family meetings and getting to know these parts is the first step to releasing the parts that no longer serve you.

Some of your parts are like friends that you simply have to release from your life, because they continue to discourage you or deplete you of vital energy. You can’t release what you don’t understand or know, so you have to begin to look inside and confront the internal demons in your life to begin the process of healthy thinking. Of course, if you need help, you can look below and give me a call I’d be happy to help you sort out what is no longer serving your life.

 Anxiout Attachment CoverUncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior CoverGLUTEN FREE COVER

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

 Beautiful Bird

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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But I’m Hungry! (A Look at Eating Behavior Driven by the Past)

But I’m Hungry! (A Look at Eating Behavior Driven by the Past)

Marianne had grown up with a stepfather who was equally abusive verbally as he was physically. She never felt safe at home. She described her childhood as a time when she constantly had to run away to feel safe in her own skin.

Marianne is overweight. She eats when she’s not hungry and can’t understand her behavior. She has been to food specialists, dietitians, and therapists, but no one has been able to help her stop this behavior.

When I first began to speak with Marianne, I had an overwhelming feeling that someone was with her—like an angel, trying to help her. She revealed to me as we spoke that her mother had recently died, and that she was trying to make peace with her father, who was now aging and lived about an hour out of town in a retirement facility. He couldn’t live far enough away for Marianne. If it were up to her, she would never speak to him again.

But Marianne was an only child, and the responsibility of her father’s care landed on her shoulders. He had recently developed signs of dementia and soon it would be too late to make any kind of amends, if that’s where their relationship was headed.

The one thing that stuck out about Marianne’s story was that the governing part of her brain that was functioning as the binge eater was not her normal Self. So, if you were to ask her ego self if she understood the correct way to diet, you would always get an affirmative answer.

Who was governing her diet was a child about eight years old, who ran behind the barn with a pack of Ding Dongs to get safe from her dad. That little girl who never felt safe and also never grew up, was still eating and making decisions for Marianne when it came to comforting her at forty-two years old.

So, as a hypnotist, what I had to do was create a way where Marianne’s adult ego could separate from her physical self (in trance) and find the part of her self (the little girl) in a dream. Then lead the little girl back to Marianne’s adult care—a place that was perfectly safe now.

Then once the reunion occurs, Marianne must get to know the little girl she never let grow up (perhaps the bad girl who ate when she wasn’t supposed and what she wasn’t supposed to). Every day, as if she were having a family meeting with the young child, Marianne must make a point of asking this little girl what, besides food, will make her happy. Once Marianne appeases the little girl within her without food, she will no longer has these binge times of phantom hunger.

This kind of therapy is called “Parts Therapy.” It is very helpful in Attachment disorders that connect with a habit such as overeating, an addiction, or a sleep problem.

If you have any of these problems I’ve spoken about and would like to discuss a solution, please give me a call. It’s a New Year. There’s a New You waiting to unfold. I look forward to helping you find him/her!

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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Bo Sebastian, Author

Bo Sebastian, Author

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