Tag: psychological growth

How Uncomfortable Are You Willing to Get to Learn Something? #theedge #psychology #yourcomfortzone #spiritualgrowth

Once, while in my forties, I dated a 19-year-old boy to experience what it would feel like to be young again. After a few weeks of bumps and bruises from doing things I simply would have never done without someone 20 years younger goading me, I finally, learned my lesson and let go of the relationship. Two weeks after, that same teenager stole his best friend’s car, and I never heard from him again.

Wikihow.com says there are 6 steps to getting out of your comfort zone:

  1. Make a fool of yourself;
  2. Know that the worst thing that could happen when you try something new is that you might fail;
  3. Face your fears;
  4. Become comfortable with taking risks;
  5. Most of our greatest lessons are learned by either failing or taking risks; and
  6. Enjoy the unknown.

I think I may have accomplished all six steps with one month of dating Harry!

Once, I opened my heart to date again after a long stint of fear about getting hurt. (Yes, most of everyone’s hardest lessons are firmly grounded in relationship.) My goal was to forget about the future and simply feel the present without any fear. I felt as if I was a teenager again, experiencing love for the first time. The result, three months later, when the guy decided that he wanted to see other people, was pain that I also hadn’t experienced since my twenties.

Learning lessons takes leaping into the present with all of your body and mind, without regard for the result. However, most often, the end result is painful. At least, in my experience it has been.

Would I change one step that I took for the valuable lessons I had learned? One thing I know for sure about the last dating experience is that I have the capacity to love grandly, which I really didn’t think was in my heart. When the right person comes along, I’ll know—as I take my time getting to know him—that I have within me the tools to commit, cherish, and love greater than I ever had before.

I believe we can use the tools of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone in all areas of our lives. In business, my risk of moving to a new city, changing businesses, and starting over to pursue my passions has been like living on the precipice of the highest mountain. Though the view is amazing, sometimes fear and trepidation happen when it rains and the wind blows a little too fiercely. Yet, I wouldn’t change one thing about the present. I know what it feels like to live in the precious NOW everyday.

For some who live in fear and anxiety daily, living life in an unchanging world can bring a “sense” of security. But, no one is really safe from an ever-changing world. Change is all around us. The only thing that doesn’t change is change itself. So, you might as well climb out on a limb today and try something new you’ve always wanted to do. Time is a passin’, my friend!

Anxiout Attachment Cover

Today’s featured book is “The Anxious Attachment of a Gay Man.” It’s a book birthed from my own psychological growth from an immature young man who had been wounded from childhood and took his wounds into every relationship. Anxious Attachment is a real psychological diagnosis and this book will help you discover how to move through your anxiety and into a life free of the fear of abandonment! Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)


If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]





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Why Me?—The Victim Stage of Life #psycholgoicaldevelopment #spiritualdevelopment #spiritualadvice #psychology

From our first breath we must trust someone—to feed us, to diaper us, to shelter us from harm. In the deepest part of our subconscious mind, we have neural pathways that desire to lay our fears down at the feet of security—any secure behavior. So, why is it that, when we become adults, our trust wanes for even the basic needs of our lives, food and shelter?

The why-me stage is a defining moment in everyone’s life when we realize that not all of life is going to be taken care of for us. A healthy person wakes up to personal responsibility, if his eyes are open, and learns to walk, run, feed herself, and even push doors open to get outside of his/her old needing paradigm.

When we are children, we can’t help but be narcissistic. Our entire world revolves around our needs. When parents break away from helping us, this is our chance to try out the use of our own legs, then our wills. As you can see from a young child, though, sharing isn’t something that happens normally. No, in fact, an infant must be taught that the world isn’t all about him or her. Sometimes, if the teacher of this lesson, is not so compassionate, we learn not only to share, but to share spitefully, then expect to taken care of all over again.

Carl learned at a young age that only time his mother paid attention to him was when she would dress him up like a little girl and dote on him. You see, his mother wanted a baby girl. Life didn’t give her what she desired, so she forced her baby boy into her own small world of discontent.

When Carl became an adult, he tried to walk away from the old messages from his mother, but eventually he ended up secretly dressing up like a woman, using his wife’s bra and panties. The wife discovered Polaroid pictures of Carl in their shed in a lockbox. After a year of counseling, she divorced him, because Carl wouldn’t give up his personal fantasy. The next week, the wife heard that Carl robbed a liquor store at night, then sat on the store’s steps waiting for the policeman to take him to jail. Carl never left the “why me” stage. Even as an adult, he needed someone to take care of his infant urges, so much so, that he forced himself to go to jail so that his shelter, food, and basic needs would be taken care of.

Not everyone has an issue this deep, but by this story, you can see the problem that exists when a person resists growing up out of the “why me” or just “What about me” syndrome. Everyone must learn that to get to any new stage in life, you must let go of the idea that anyone owes you anything. The next steps in life are certainly up to you.

So, if you sit alone wondering why you have a bad life, you never get the opportunity to move to the next stage of spiritual/psychological development, which is the “By Me” Stage. In this stage, we realize that life must happen as a result of good deeds, schooling, compassion, truth, and wisdom. If we don’t embrace the by-me stage, nothing much good happens for us. We don’t interact well with others, we lose jobs that helped us support ourselves, and we sit alone wondering why the world hates us.

Today, is a day we must take the opportunity to say: Life happens as I become the author of my own destiny!


Chosen to show his new hypno-therapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel and also being chosen to teach at the world conference for Learning, Bo Sebastian, the writer and director of Finding Authentic You, helps people such as you make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, experience YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Challenge yourself with one of his 13 books, healing CDs (weight loss and relaxation) or Yoga DVD on Amazon or Amazon/Kindle: Buy Here!]

The_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_Kindle “The Leaving Cellar” is a novel based on the concepts of this blog, written by Bo Sebastian.

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