Tag: Psychology

A View from the Top Bunk

When I was a kid, I slept on the top bunk after a short stint on the bottom one. My elder brother, six years to be exact, had the authority, then, to make these kinds of decisions. Besides, he got to bed much later than I and didn’t want to disturb me. As if masturbation every night at midnight wasn’t a deterrent for sleep.

What exactly was he doing down there? my young mind thought. Moaning and thrashing about as if he was down there with some pretty young thing. I never asked. He never told.

Actually, I already knew. Before the bunk beds, my brother and I slept in the same queen bed for about six years—long enough for him to introduce me to his midnight issues. But with me, his affair fell right after my early bedtime.

A soft whisper. “Can I… you know?” He played with my hair and caressed my 8-year-old butt. Sometimes he would kiss me on the neck… begging… and breathing.

Ah, the raw memories of sexual abuse. They would rob me of sleep until about 10 years ago, when I took my childhood back.

I don’t demonize my brother. I don’t fault my father and mother for not protecting me from a horny brother, who probably had been sexually abused before me. I simply give none of what happened in the past any negative thought. It is almost as if it was another lifetime, completely.

Everything that had happened in my past had a purpose—a divine reason—even the horrible nightmare things, like the queen-sized bed.

My mom recently told me that my brother thinks that I’m the only sibling in the family who cares about him. I don’t know if he’s correct about that. I simply wonder about what he thinks? How he thinks or deals with the memories. I’m more curious than caring, to be honest. But, I never ask. He never tells.

Sometimes silence heals if you understand the peace that can come with it.

I am an actor by trade. I have learned to embrace the truth of other characters besides me. In my search for each character’s authentic reality, I often make up amazing pasts to build a strong back-story, it’s called in the acting world. I have more fun with this part of the process than I should. It’s my time to rewrite the words of the author so they fit me more snugly. This back-story helps me relate to the character’s malevolence, depravity, or intricate love they bring to the stage or screen.

I left the theater for a long time, because I felt as if I was avoiding my own back-story to play with other’s lives. Acting was an easier choice than reality. Plus, an added bonus was the applause at the end of the night. Praise and adulation for making people believe you were someone you’re not. And I got paid for it, while most of the world does this every day, every minute, every second.

Honestly, I’m tired of so many people living their lives asleep or in total avoidance.

When will we all stop to be still? When will we give thought to the purpose of our humanity and make some sense of the maelstrom of our pasts?

It’s in the undoing that you become one step closer to your spiritual purpose on Earth.

Take a breath. Take a moment. Let silence draw you to the path of total understanding. I have and am finally at peace.

Don’t let another day pass, acting as if none of it happened, every jot and tittle matters more that Who You Are!

 

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Learned Helplessness #psychology #behaviormodification #spirituality #bodyandmind

If a tiger is put in a cage that is only large enough for it to walk in small circles, for two years, even if he gets put into a huge environment, the tiger is likely to only walk in those same small circles, thereafter. This behavior is called “learned helplessness.”

From Wikipedia: Learned helplessness is behavior typical of an organism (human or animal) that has endured repeated painful or otherwise adverse stimuli, which it was unable to escape or avoid. After such experience, the organism often fails to learn to escape in new situations where such behavior would be effective.

We can see this behavior in humans who have suffered traumatic events as children that seem to give up trying when faced with even the greatest of chances to better themselves. They self-sabotage and commit to less because their minds won’t let them outside of the old paradigm of confinement.

With this being said, how do we change the state of avoidance and belief from a situation that may have caused learned helplessness in our own lives?

I had a recent event in my own life that brought about a feeling of wanting to give up and not try. The event triggered the worst parts of my ego. It brought up insecurity, the need to be perfect to get love, and also pushed me into a dark and scary place.

I clearly needed to get help quickly, otherwise, I would have sunk even deeper into a depression, I’m sure. This, to me, was clearly a PTSD event that brought back some serious, old feelings of insecurity.

I was told that I did something wrong, when I didn’t believe I had. This was one person’s perception, but it was someone important to me. Nonetheless, I let his judgment of a situation cloud my entire mind, until I was curled up in my bed, holding my heart and asking for help from God.

In my quiet, I heard a kind voice say to me, “I have already helped you. I have given you the keys to the kingdom, to your creative mind. I have given you back the power that was stolen from you. USE IT!”

I remembered the scripture in the Bible where Jesus said, “Physician, heal yourself!” And I actually understood it was up to me to change my helplessness into power.

I brought myself back to the time when I was hiding in the closet as a child, one of the few places as a young kid that I felt safe. I remembered that little boy who experienced helplessness and the feeling of being unloved. Those exact feelings as a child mirrored what I felt in that moment. What I faced as an adult was nothing compared to the abuse of my childhood, but nonetheless, I had the same feelings of wanting to give up and quit. No matter how hard I tried, I felt unloved and wrong in the current situation. So, instead of facing my life, I hid in my closet. In this case, it was under my covers in my bed.

My prayer was simple, but effective, when I got the courage to finally pray it:

“I know that God is all in all; in the immensity of the universe and in the smallest memories of my past. The energy of love and creativity exists in God and has been passed to me as a child of the Creator. I firmly accept this challenge to be the man God created me to be. I reject the premise of old that would say that I am less than, not good enough, or my light is not bright enough for the world. I am all that God has made me and much more than I can imagine.

“What would I be without this old, negative thought that I am “not enough?” Would I be more powerful, unlimited in my resource, and flow in divine prosperity? Indeed, I would. So, I lift my eyes unto the source of all good and trust that I c0-abide as love, in love, and am always expressing as love. This I believe to be true about my current situation, as I face it as an adult, not as a hurt, young child.”

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.cropped:Bo's book cover_USA Version_Compressed

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in May or June of 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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What Is PTG? #posttraumaticgrowth #PTSD #Scienceofmind #psychology #spiritualadvice

Most people have heard of—or experienced—PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. A simple definition of PTSD would be a traumatic incident that happened during one’s childhood or life, may inhibit psychological growth and often causes severe depression, especially when triggered with a similar situation.

PTG, however, is positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event. Although the University of North Carolina at Charlotte has recently coined the term posttraumatic growth, the idea that human beings can be changed by their encounters with life challenges—sometimes in radically positive ways—is not new. In fact, these kinds of positive changes have been tracked for years.

Posttraumatic growth tends to occur in five general areas. Sometimes people who face major life crises:

  1. Could develop a sense that new opportunities have emerged from the struggle, opening up possibilities that were not present before;
  2. Experience a change in relationships with others. They can also experience an increased sense of connection to others who have suffered in a similar way;
  3. May have an increased sense of their own strength;
  4. Develop a greater appreciation for life in general; and
  5. Some individuals experience a deepening of their spiritual lives, often involving a significant change in their belief system. This is the part of the study that has been monitored for quite some time. In fact, it has been discussed in psychological circles that any kind of spirituality often can help heal and sometimes lessen the impact of a tragic event, even to the point of helping encourage a person to overcome obstacles to become a powerful influence in the world. Most motivational speakers have lived through PTSD to tell about it and help encourage other people to look for their greatness within.

NOTE: This study does not by any means suggest that some one who has grown as a result of struggle will not at some point still struggle with PTSD. This study also does not suggest that pain or trauma of any kind is a good thing.

Ultimately, this new idea or coined phrase, PTG, a good thing. I believe we can always look for the rainbow after the storm. In particular, when something presumed negative happens to me, I always ask how I can get out of the way of the pain to see the lesson that I need to learn.

The difference for me as a spiritually evolving human being is that I now believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. And the likelihood of me looking for that reason, even in the midst of the difficulty, is in all actuality why I heal faster and have a more positive attitude about life in general.

****

This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 8.42.10 AMPlease be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March or April 2016!

***

Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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