Tag: quitting a habit

Make Plans, Sit in Car, Never Put Foot on Gas… HELP!

When you desire to write a hit song, a novel or finish that painting job in the spare bedroom, do you actually follow through with your intention?

Most people do not. Why do so many people have great ideas and never follow through until the end?

My dad came up with an idea in his workshop in 1967. He took an old motor from one of our destroyed toys and attached two suction cups to parts that rotated. He mounted the rotating cups on a square piece of wood. At Easter, he would take out this contraption, get out some Q-tips and food coloring, and would put the boiled eggs between the suction cups. The eggs would rotate as we applied the food color to the eggshell via a Q-tip.

It was a brilliant idea—in fact, so brilliant that, 15-20 years later, I saw one of the same machines on the shelves around Easter. What if my Dad would have followed through with his brilliant idea, had patented it, and had tried to get it produced? Who knows, because he never did. He just bitched because someone else was making the money from his idea.

I’ve heard this kind of story from almost everyone I know. What stops us from believing in ourselves and following through with goals and ideas?

Continue reading below.


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Continued from above:

Dan Diamond, an author for Forbes magazine says:

For all the good intentions, only a tiny fraction of us keep our resolutions; University of Scranton research suggests that just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals.

Why do so many people fail at goal setting, and what are the secrets behind those who succeed? The explosion of studies into how the brain works has more experts attempting to explain the science behind why we make resolutions—and more relevantly, how we can keep them.

Going back to the title of this blog, you can’t get anywhere in your car without applying your foot to the gas pedal. You can stay in the parking lot for days with the ignition on. If you don’t put the car in DRIVE, you go nowhere again! Moving forward is the first priority.

Studies have shown that we can’t move forward when our goals are not easy, succinct, and carefully planned out. In other words, you could decide you need to get a new chair for the living room. You get in the car when suddenly you realize that you have no idea where to acquire the chair. You wonder if there are any sales going on. What’s your budget? Should you charge it or pay cash? How will you get it home? If all of those questions were answered, you may very well get in your car and get the chair.

Take this same scenario and put my good friend Elaine in it. She would be overwhelmed with the choices in front of her, spend the entire day going from store to store and come home empty-handed. It takes her 3-4 hours to grocery shop each week. She also gets upset at a restaurant that has too large a menu. Why?

The answer is simple. Most people go into a restaurant having a hankering for something specific. They go to the page of the menu that has salads, for instance, and choose from one of five or six salads.

Elaine would have began looking at the menu without a plan. She would begin thumbing through the menu. Of course, this simple decision now becomes daunting with 400 choices.

Simplicity is imperative when creating goals. If you want to achieve something, set a small goal first. Don’t say I’m going to write a novel. Instead, say, “I have an idea for a novel. I have decided to spend one hour every day, writing from 10-11 a.m., when I have the house to myself. I’m going to begin this Monday. I’ll give myself 6 or 7 weeks to see what comes of it.”

These very specific and simple goals allow the mind to easily digest in small portions what you plan to consume.

If you told yourself how long it takes to write a novel (often 2 years), you probably would never begin. This is why successful novelists have trouble coming up with their second “big” novel. The writer knows how much time and passion it takes to create a novel, because the first one took 3-5 years.

In summary, to accomplish a goal:

  • First, simplify the goal. (I’m going to write daily.)
  • Give yourself a launching platform. (I will write when the kids are at school from 10-11 a.m.)
  • Set an ample, but shorter, amount of time to see where you are with your goal. (Decide you’ll do this behavior for 6-7 weeks and see where I am.)
  • Get some help or join a group that is achieving the same goal. (Join a weekly writers group.)

With just these small pieces, I assure you that you will not find yourself pounding the steering wheel of the car wondering how to go forward! You have that incredible GPS in your mind set to a goal, and a still small voice lets you know well ahead of time when to make the next turn.


You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!


Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books:


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Metastatic Data #cancer #spreadofcancer #smokingaddiction #addiction

John came into my office with the idea that he would quit smoking, because he had recently found out that he had a cancerous growth in his lungs. He had tried many times to quit. He tried Chantix, the patch, nicotine gum, and even hypnosis 10 years before. Nothing seemed to work, until he got this terrible diagnosis. Why do you think John had to find out he could die before he had the will to quit a habit he knew could cause death?

The poet Haviz says that you can’t escape your invitation by Spirit. You can either come “dressed for the dance or be carried on a stretcher to God’s ward.”

The CDC says that in America 480,000 people die a year from smoke-related diseases, and 41,000 of those die from second-hand smoke. With odds this great, why would anyone put a cigarette to his/her lips?

The answer is simple: We all think, especially when we’re younger, that we are indestructible. I have even had clients tell me they started smoking while a parent was dying of cancer in the hospital, because of stress. Actually, most people start smoking on a whim. Then, after getting hooked on the nicotine, the neural pathways in the brain connect smoking to relaxation or stress relief. So, cigarettes have an opiate effect on the brain and body, making a smoker believe that his/her need to smoke is far greater than it actually is. Nicotine does cause a dependency, as most addictive substances do, but the body doesn’t need nicotine to exist. White sugar can cause dependency in the body because of the rate of yeast growing systemically. Yeast requires sugar to thrive. So, the yeast sends a message to the brain to eat sugar. When you respond to a sugar craving, basically, you yield to the neural thought pattern that was sent by the thriving yeast growing in your body.

To rid yourself of any habit, you must have a strong will to change, because of all the chemical addiction existing systemically in the body. My first requirement is that you are able to repeat with complete sincerity: “I release and let go of all things that no longer serve my life. I am open and willing for CHANGE!” If a client is unwilling to say this affirmation, I find no reason to move forward with the therapy.

So, back to John. He now has cancer. He has found out that it may be metastatic, which means that it is spreading throughout his body. His fear now finally outweighs his desire to smoke. He has a wife, children, and grandchildren he wants to see grow. He has a definite reason to live. He even just retired, after many years of being a stonemason, which is hard, backbreaking work, to finally enjoy the pleasure of the money he saved for retirement. And, now, this cancer appears—“out of nowhere,” he said.

John’s story reminds me of my father’s, who on his deathbed, after 45 years of smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, “If I had only known that cigarettes would have caused this, I would have quit years ago!” This statement had come after six of his siblings had died of cancer before him. What exactly does it take to make an addict see the reality of impending death, as a result of their addictive behavior? You would think that a smoker would look at the probable result of his actions and think, wow, that could be me! But, unfortunately, the opiate in the brain is too strong for any smoker to see past his own powerful desire.

So, the call of Spirit to be healthy and take care of the body, which houses your beautiful essence, requires that you either joyfully dance toward change or be carried to God’s ward kicking and screaming. What is your choice?


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[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]

Gluten-free cookbook cover

Bo Sebastian has been a Vegetarian Chef to vegetarian dignitaries and a teacher of the vegetarian ways to chefs around the globe. Now, Chef Bo bring you an important cookbook for today’s growing need to understand Gluten-Free Recipes. His innovative book:  The Gluten-Free, High-Protein Vegetarian Cookbook with Recipes will help you easily change your gluten habits to wheat-free habits in days, getting rid of that potbelly, giving you clearer thoughts, and reducing pain from arthritis in a matter of days! 




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The Boomerang Effect!

In life what do you throw away, and, yet, it still keeps coming back to you?

A boomerang is a throwing tool, constructed as a flat aerofoil (a structure with curved surfaces, designed to give the most favorable ratio of lift to drag in flight) that is designed to spin about an axis perpendicular to the direction of its flight. So, I teach you something I didn’t know myself, there are two different kinds of boomerangs: one that doesn’t return and one that does. One is used for hunting—basically killing. The other will spiral back to you.

So, by metaphor, you have two different ways in life to rid yourself of old habits: a.) throw your habit away and kill it; or b.) choose a tool that will eventually bring the habit back to you.

A very clear way of looking at this paradigm is in the life of a cigarette smoker. When the smoker decides to quit, the effectiveness of therapy is dependent upon him/her following through with the sessions that link the smoker’s mind to the past.

The one who is satisfied with behavior modifying only is likely to start smoking again when the same old patterns of anxiety rise again in his/her life. I’ve seen it a thousand times or more. I shouldn’t complain, because this kind of person makes me more money. But, seriously, folks, I’m into helping people make effective, lasting change, not temporary modifications.

If a smoker realizes that the cigarette smoke is just a literal smokescreen for something as wanting to stay thin, subverting anxiety, taking a break from work or relationship, or just a simple oral fixation; then he/she is more likely to dig deeper and look for a lasting change down to the cause. This theory aligns with almost every habit.

The boomerang theory is like western medicine, always treating the effect and not the cause. If we want to make lasting change, we must modify life choices. No amount of pills is going to take away all of our symptoms.

So, if you are in the boomerang stage of a habit or anxiety, let me help you look deeper and find the cause. I can help with hypnosis, NLP, and EMDR. All or any of these three types of hypno-trance effectors can and will get you to the root of your problem and keep you gnawing away at it until it’s completely gone.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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