Tag: self-care

A Pocket Full of Grace and #CandyCrush

Grace is a subject we don’t often talk about these days, because we are more interested in getting certain people convicted of their crimes and removed from high ranking positions.

Let’s not be so concerned with other people, right now. Let’s discuss the grace you have offered yourself lately? In what ways do you administer grace in your own life, besides playing #candycrush?

An Example of Grace in My Own Life

When I lived in Nashville I had a very successful business, which included both music lessons (voice and piano) and a hypnotherapy practice of the clinical nature. I was used to people recommending my practice because of many successful reports from clients who had gone on to do great things in the music department and people who had had complete healings in the clinical hypnosis part.  I had been in practice for over 28 years in Nashville. My reputation and my successes had time to generate return business and also friends of friends would often recommend me.

When I moved to Florida, I assumed that I would be one of the frontrunners here because of all of my 35 years of experience in Nashville.

I understood the circumstance, though, of starting a new business. I have to remember that a long-standing reputation as a successful teacher and hypnotherapist doesn’t matter to people who don’t know you or your friends and family. Their judgments are harsher.

In Nashville I had people come to my practice with high recommendations from producers, agents, musical theater teachers, other students, band members, and recording studies. In a different city, those recommendations mean little to nothing.

Also, three years ago, I had decided that I was going to approach life through a spiritual microscope. I didn’t want to look at life as a business venture. I wanted to live everyday being led by my meditations and by the angels and spirits toward a more fulfilling, prosperous, and joyful life.

Recently, after much prayer about success, I heard a message in my spirit:

“Simply move forward with the opportunities that are set in front of you! Don’t hesitate. Many other opportunities will follow.”

Very soon after this prayer, many opportunities began to come my way. Here is the catch, though: When you ask for Spirit to lead you, you must be ready to be led away from some things as much as being led toward them. (This includes friends, home, some family members, places of work, and places you play.)

Since this prayer, I have gain a few clients every week, but some also leave or dismiss me as their teacher or helper. This is the part that requires grace.  I have had more of a turn over in clients than I have had in years. The people who stay are more than exuberant about the work we do together. However, the people who leave are also exuberant. It’s as if Spirit is saying “no” to me and to them immediately.

Most of the time I’m completely surprised at who leaves, because they have expressed to me how grateful they are and how I’ve helped them so much. Then, a week later, they quit.

I am personally left with a feeling of lack and a hit to my self-confidence.

You may ask: “How can someone who has been successful for so many years believe he is not good enough now?” The truth is in the physiology of your human neural pathways in the brain that are hit whenever you get triggered by an old belief of yourself. Your circumstance changes, but your thoughts and beliefs as you have learned your spiritual lesson should stay the same. But, often, you will find yourself in an old place, feeling depression and remorse.

This is the point of the story!

When you are triggered with an old belief about yourself, you must use every tool you know to keep yourself guarded from the negative thoughts of the past. Keep people around you who are full of positivity. Personally, when I’m not afraid to admit I’m losing confidence, my helpers immediately come to my aid, sharing the good news of “Who I Am” in the One Mind of God. I am  not who I was as a child. This is important.

Self-grace is even more important than you think.

I had an experience of this feeling recently. I took an entire day for myself. I cancelled everything and sat with my thoughts and with the uncomfortable feeling of being not worthy and not good enough. I walked down a dark road to meet the phantom voices of these thoughts. I stared them in the face and spoke my truth to the entities. Then I meditated.


I did this ritual most of the day, by myself, and fully exposed to spirit. By evening, I felt as if I was returning to normal. I was able to let go of the old thoughts completely and move forward again.

Had I not taken the time to be still and recognize the issues coming up, to be honest with myself, the feelings would have been oppressed and tamped down. Eventually, I would have gotten sick from the old, festering thoughts; and they would have manifested in negative ways.

I’m not sure that I won’t continue to feel some of these negative feelings again, but I feel well equipped with Spiritual Fortitude and great affirmations that will keep me on guard for the negativity of the past, if they do return.

We have the power to have GRACE for ourselves. We must use it. We can give all of our grace away to others. If we do so and save none for ourselves, then we will eventually end up disliking ourselves for the sake of helping others.

In this case, you might as well put down your bag of love, leave it on the altar, and walk away from all the good you do. Grace can’t come from a person who doesn’t forgive him- or herself. It comes from someone who understands and empathizes with the person experiencing negativity, even if (and most especially if) it is you.

Then and only then can you be a healer in this world.

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Someone to Watch Over Me!

I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, the feeling of someone to care about you and you alone is a deep, yearning desire in 99% of the people I know. Even if you are the breadwinner of the family and take care of everyone valiantly, somewhere inside that hard veneer you would like to believe that someone could take care of you in some way in exactly the way you need it. This is inherent in all human beings from the time we leave our mother’s safe arms until we die.

That 1% of people who don’t know what it feels like to be taken care of because they grew up in an orphanage or were abandoned at birth, still have the DNA and natural instinct to realize that they have missed out on something integral to the growing process. So, what do we do to fulfill that need when no one in the family steps up to the plate or when we have been abandoned by the very person who has been the caregiver?

Being able to give is a radical change from learning to receive, but both are imperative to learn in our Spiritual Growth. To be good at one isn’t necessarily a true test that you’ll be good at the other. In fact, even people who would love to be taken care of can’t express the need or feel guilty when they receive. It’s as if their role is being compromised.

Growing up as a caregiver, I have never been so blessed to have a husband who loves to give as much as he loves to receive. In this way, he has helped me learn to be waited on, sometimes, and be amazingly appreciative. I’ve realized that it’s okay to lose my identity in this shift of roles. It’s a great feeling to realize that I can love and be a giving person and also have someone so appreciative that he wants to balance my load.

In all of my years searching for love, it seems I have always found people who were anxious to take but not so willing to give. Because there are more of those taking types out there, it was fairly easy to find a fine looking person who fit the role in the looks department, but in the day-to-day living department that pretty selfish person expected this symbiotic dependent/codependent situation to continue throughout the relationship.

So, in retrospect, maybe a caregiver/taker relationship could work if you’re willing to take care of yourself. But, there is no way in hell you can continue in any relationship without giving yourself what you need to recharge your mind, body, and soul.

If you don’t make this effort you will end up addicted to food, shopping, gambling, alcohol, or something else that can fulfill you in an addictive way and quickly.

If you decide to stay this kind of relationship, here are a few examples of caregiving gestures you can give yourself:

  • Take a ME day once a week;
  • Force your partner to take the reigns at least once a week; or
  • Simply find those hours in the day that are yours and bask in the reality that you are your own caregiver, and you can do whatever you want to recharge your batteries.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.

SKYPE sessions are available. Click here for more information.* * *


Go to Bo’s Personal Website

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.


Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!






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Managing the Elderly: Caregiving for an Octogenarian #caregiving #managingelderlyadults #octogenarian

I never imagined that at 53 I would be taking care of an octogenarian. My mom is 81 and, everyday, by virtue of age and health, she loses a little more of her ability to manage her own life. I can’t imagine how losing control would feel, personally, but I know that I try to lead with compassion when she breaks something new, pretends it wasn’t her fault, and blames it on the product. I say gently, “This problem would be better faced if you just admitted that you made a mistake and move on.” She glances down with remorse and, I’m certain, wonders how much longer I will want to take care of her. He deepest fear, “How will I get along without help—the help of my primary caregiver (me), the help of my children, my friends, and my doctors?”

All of these concerns are just and right. Some days I wake up with the patience of Job, and other days I want to pull my hair out with frustration. My solution is to take time away for myself as often as I can, to keep my heart and mind healthy and stable. If don’t I take care of myself, I will end up angry and lose my patience quickly.

If you are a mother, father, or caregiver of any sort, taking care of Self is paramount. If you aren’t prayed up, healthy, and have ample self-care, you won’t be the person you need to be in situations that will involve taking care of the people who need you most.

Finding Authentic You, which is the name of my new book and self guide, meant to help you find a way to understand your self, the most distinct you, unlock all of your negative thinking, and help you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship is a fairly easy task.

Listen, I really need your help to buy my new book (below) and share it with friends. No project in this world launches without a community of people who value its importance. This is why I have made it $2.99 for the download version.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.

Link to Amazon books and Amazon Kindle for the special $2.99 price for the book launch.

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

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