Tag: self-deprecation

Self-Bullying? #bullying #self-deprecation #spirituality

Many people talk about the important issue of bullying in schools. Not many are talking about the daily bullying we do to ourselves. How many times a day do you call yourself a self-deprecating name, like “stupid,” or “idiot” or say something like: “how dumb could you be”?

If someone you don’t know very well bullies you or says something horribly mean to you, somewhere inside, you may realize that this person has no idea who you are. They are simply looking on the surface.

Imagine how your own subconscious reacts to you—the person who know you the best—whenever you call yourself a name. The habit is intrinsic in this society and often comes from seeing your failures as negative instead of learning experiences.

If you are 35 or older, you probably did not have parents who believed in talking things out and supporting your artistic desires. I know my dad wanted me to become a clone of him. Forget about the kids at school who only believed that jocks should succeed. These mean children and old-time, harsh parenting skills didn’t give us much self-esteem. In fact, it did just the opposite. It gave us the words we use against ourselves now when we think we have underachieved. So, how do we begin to get over the issue of Self-bullying?

First of all, you must know who you are in relationship to the world and ultimately—Spirit. If you understand that Source is one Mind and that you are connected, created by and shaped in the image of that Powerful Mind, then you will begin to see yourself as One in power.

Co-creators, which we all are, like children in the playground of the universe are always LEARNING by making mistakes. We set out to create with great intentions. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don’t. But, ultimately, we are always learning lessons to help ourselves do better the next time.

If you were the parent to a child who made a mess of his or her first art project, would you tear up the paper and tell the child he or she will never be an artist? Hell, no! You would teach the child slowly the process of learning to paint inside the lines, not to mix all the colors together, and perhaps give the child art lessons. We don’t demean our children these days for messing up. We help them learn to be better.

So, we must go back into our own minds and listen for the voice of self-deprecation. Listen hard and decide who is the face behind those mean words to yourself. Once you discover the who, you must have an internal discussion with that voice. The discussion should go something like this:

“Here’s what I know about me. There is only one Source, and that source is God the good. I am a product of that amazing Source of Love. Therefore, I am good. Everyone is created by this same Source, so we are, in some way, unified in mind—even if we see life completely differently and through different lenses.

“I’m thankful for knowing who I am, and I choose NOW to stop using these self-deprecating words that you have used against me in the past to make me feel small. I am and will continue to say words of truth to myself, encouraging myself to be the best, because I am made of the best.”


Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

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Also, check out my new book: “Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind.


Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.


You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

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Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bo%20sebastian&sprefix=bo+seb%2Caps%2C190&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abo%20sebastian]






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Ashes to Ashes—We all Fall Down

I’m not one to force anyone into a new paradigm of thinking. But it doesn’t take a professor of psychology to know that all of us fall short of our expectations sometimes in life. If you can agree with that assumption, then you will automatically release yourself from loads of self-condemnation.

Many clients walk through my doors with the idea that somehow all of their self-deprecating thoughts can be vanquished with one hypnosis or life coaching session. First of all, no thoughts can be annihilated from your mind. Thoughts can be changed. The amount of negative output can vary greatly. But attachment-causing, negative behavior supersedes the functioning brain. Most times, we aren’t even aware of our impulsive behavior until after it has caught us off guard.

This is the reason I speak so much about learning to become the observer of the mind and body. From the perspective of the observer, you can notice small behavior changes, such as your eye twitches when you are becoming anxious. Perhaps, this twitch can be a trigger for you to do to a self-hypnosis or NLP or EMDR treatment on yourself that you have learned in a session. Maybe, as a result of catching the behavior before it manifested into full-blown anxiety, you have saved yourself from losing a day of depression or self-deprecating thinking.

I have a problem with rejection. If you had a mother who left you at a young age with an alcoholic father, you probably would have a strong problem with anxious attachment, as I do. I don’t blame my mother for her behavior. In fact, I spend as much time as I can letting her help me heal from the separation anxiety. Fortunately, I have a mother who is willing to restore the patterns that were lost during childhood.

So, knowing my problem with rejection exists, I developed a self-hypnosis trigger with an affirmation that says, “Direction, not rejection!”

When I feel a strong sensation in my stomach that someone is going to leave my life because of an action or voicing a strong opinion, I hit the trigger hard with my affirmation and self-hypnosis techniques. I have found that the more I commit to changing the systemic problem of rejection in my mind, the easier it becomes every time I decide to release from the old behavior.

I may never be completely emptied of this trigger response, but I do have every tool to help my life feel more normal and enter into a secure relationship safely. Your life can also be eased into change if you have a partner or spouse who is willing to be a mirror for you and your issues. If that partner will let you speak honestly about what comes up when these triggers are touched, then you will safely retreat from them.

I feel extremely fortunate to have one of the most compassionate, secure partners I have ever met. There is never a time when I have had an issue when he hasn’t been completely understanding and loving. If a time does come up in the future when he can’t be compassionate, I will know that we have found an issue to work on for him. I, too, will then be willing to be compassionate and loving in the wake of his discovery.

Relationships are a day-to-day understanding of one pertinent thought—some day in the future, one of you will leave the relationship either in death or in need of another relationship. With that being said, acting as a realist and not a pessimist, the best way to keep a relationship healthy is to live it everyday to the fullest extent.

If you have found stagnancy in your relationship, first, understand the above premise. Make sure you are committed to making the paradigm shift needed to bring back intimacy into your relationship. Then approach your partner with honesty and authenticity. If you are afraid that he or she will not be on board, you aren’t in a secure relationship anyway. You might as well know the facts, so that you can move on. Otherwise, your secure partner should be ready and able to help you both get back on track.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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