Tag: Self-Esteem

Pigeons and Black Birds

If we could get back to the power of a child’s mind, we would experience unlimited ability to manifest our Good.

When I was a kid, I was very afraid of pigeons and black birds. These particular birds in Pennsylvania were seemingly mean to other smaller birds. They would steal food from anything that was smaller than they were. What I saw—even at that young age—was a narcissist in motion and reacted to the behavior accordingly. Even today, when people take what they think they deserve without considering others, my spiritual antenna rises. I begin to watch for other behaviors that might harm me.

What is so harmful about taking what you think you deserve, especially if taking your just due doesn’t steal from others? I have always been the one who looked at life as if I was the bottom feeder or the last on the food chain. Even when I deserved a raise, and I could give myself one, I would think I was undeserving. What makes a person feel so demoralized and less-than that he would actually keep himself from success?

I have spent many years helping people overcome the fear of success. Usually, in the foreground I find a very accomplished man or woman with lots of great accolades. However, the person had had one harmful and venomous caregiver or teacher as a child who literally stole away the person’s power. The instant that demon poured negativity on the child was the moment he or she gave away much of what would make that person a success in life. I feel this kind of pain and have compassion for it.

Even though to some I seem as if I have much going for myself, life has been a constant struggle to overcome old thoughts about myself. In my case, however, I did not have just one demons. There were many, but not striking at my success. What I lacked though was someone to really nurture my talents. As a result, the neural pathways that affected my ability to see myself as successful was quite dried up. I overworked, over compensated, and definitely spouted my own praise far more than I ever had to.

When I look back, I never knew how talented I was or had an attitude that I could be anything I wanted, even though I had the world at my feet. Instead, I sunk into a place that seemed easy to achieve and had much less criticism by the people around me. I became a minister. Who wants to be mean or critical of a minister? At least, that’s what I remember believing, as I decided to give up being an artist for a spiritual path.

I don’t deny that this diversion from my true path was a good one. I learned so much about life, spirituality, meditation, yoga, and helping others on my path; however, I never really walked the hardest path of all, the one that would put me on the chopping block of criticism 24/7, the one that would teach me that I am simply what God created combined with any other talents I have nurtured.

Even today as a author, singer, and actor, I have to endure many thoughts about not being good enough. But now, I understand that all I have to be is me. I can hone my skills, but the rest is up to the producers in life to pick exactly the person whom he or she needs for the project or the “public to vote,” as in most reality shows.

Most of the time, me getting or not getting a part has nothing to do with the quality of my work. I know this because I have successfully gained many roles and also have not gotten as many roles. If I was bad at what I did, I would get no roles and just Mom would think I was a star. This, at least, is my litmus test now and keeps me going.

In the meantime, I continue to give to the world from the coffer of my gut belief and authentic self. I never have qualms with what I give. I simply create and give. This is our nature as spirit in human flesh. This I realize daily.

I know this is meant of that special someone who needs a boost today.

Bless you and know that you are a unique and wonderful person!



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Meditations for a New World #9 (Judgment and self-esteem)


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What About Forgiveness? Can Unforgiveness Cause Illness and Addictive Behavior?

It has been said that “when you hold unforgiveness in your heart, you actually hurt yourself. The negative energy that you hold in your body and mind is like a poison. Is this true for you? What if you hold unforgiveness for yourself? How does this affect your mind and body?

Recently a client asked me these very important questions. Each deserves a specific reply. Let’s start with the first question below:


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“Life is full of moments that make up your story. Some are good, some bad.” Some cause you to hold onto the memory with anger. However, every day we surge forward with our desire to heal from the unforgiveness. Still, this pain from the past seems to inhabit the mind like a leech. You know it’s sucking you dry of your vital energy, but it won’t let go. Or is it that if you let go of it, you may have to deal with the emptiness inside from that space that it leaves in your mind?

Most times we let negativity occupy our brain because we are simply afraid of not feeling anything. I have heard from clients: “I’d rather be feeling something than nothing.”

My response is always: “What’s wrong with thinking nothing? Thinking nothing is simply peace of mind! This is what the yogis and meditation see as the pinnacle of bliss. What’s so bad about this?

Also, emptying your mind of negativity leaves room for positivity and loving people to enter into your life.

Have you ever seen someone who has just gotten out of a bad relationship in a bar or at a party? They seem anxious and absolutely too ready to find someone to replace the old. This kind of anxiousness can detract new people from coming into their lives. Anyone going through a bad situation involving unforgivness must sit with his or her pain long enough to heal, before setting out to find someone new. Anesthetizing pain with another person is not the solution!

Unforgiveness for yourself is a bit different from the latter response. When you hold yourself responsible for something negative in your life,  you actually have to be the one who not only forgives yourself, but also initiates and accepts the forgiveness.

This dynamic is more difficult and may take the intervention of a professional. Self-imposed guilt and stress due to the mind occupying unforgiveness for yourself is the worst poison of all. If you have this, I’d recommend you see a professional and work it out immediately.

The affect of this on your body and soul is: You will end up sick and or very open to taking on an addiction—like and especially—overeating and obesity.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.

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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

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