Happiness has everything to do with learning to love yourself, first, than it has to do with being concerned about what others think about you and your decisions. Contrary to this, it is only through the eyes of others we see our deepest feelings about ourselves.
Read the Quote below from Psychology Today.
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Continued from above:
From Psychology Today:
Everyone’s heard this self-help platitude:
We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth; if we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves–again and again–by the people around us.
As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most unsure and most tender. When that happens, we feel freedom and relief-and permission to love in a deeper way. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of intimacy, not of will-power.
My fiancé and I had a bit of a tumble yesterday when I said to him: “I would really love to see what your hair looks like grown out!” He shaves his head. I’ve never seen him with hair on his head.
After he pouted a bit, he confessed that he thought that I didn’t like how he looked with a shaved head. In other words, he risked being told something harsh and hurting deeper to hear what I really felt.
I was so thankful to hear him immediately share his truth that I was easily able to say, “Of course, I love you and think you’re hot just the way you are. I’m just curious, that’s all.” (I actually had to do a bit more talking him down from his desire to avoid me and his feelings. Mostly, we got over the problem very quickly and simply by being honest.
The quote from Psychology Today makes the most sense when you look at it as I have exemplified from above. If you have never trusted someone enough with your heart and your feelings to allow a person to love you where you feel most vulnerable, you will probably never be healed in that place. It’s harsh, but true.
- We can love ourselves a great deal.
- We can work on our truths in many aspects.
- We can become monks and never have to deal with another person, only Spirit.
- But the one aspect of life we get on earth is that we must exist in relationship to understand how deeply words and our feelings impact us.
With me, I’m usually the last person who knows how much something hurts, until I’m in a position where someone judges me. I believed or, at least, told myself that I have taken care of that part of me that cares what other’s think. But, ultimately, the words someone else says about you often bring up what you think of ourselves. So, it is in relationship that we discover the deepest places that we need to heal.
Hopefully, this relationship will be with those same people who love you way past your faults, or a therapist, or life coach that you can work on those places that most affect the way you feel about yourself.
* * *
What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
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