Tag: self-sabotage

“Don’t Condemn Yourself” Week

One of the greatest hindrances to growing spiritually and psychologically is condemnation. Condemning yourself is deeply rooted in fear—fear of not being good enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, skinny enough, or smart enough. You name the fear; it will probably fit under the subhead of Fear. One of my favorite authors, if not my favorite one, is Eckhart Tolle. This week, his E-blast was about condemning yourself. I thought I would continue the conversation with my recent take on the subject.

My mother fell yesterday and hurt herself. As she has gotten older, she tends to get lost under her numb feet about once every six months. Usually, her falls are minor. But, yesterday, my sister’s explanation of what happened sound much like this: Mom tried to get down on the floor to exercise and ended up falling on to her head and shoulder. One of her arthritic fingers tried to stop the fall and it ended up getting badly sprained. Mom screamed and moaned to the point that my sister suggested she call an ambulance. When anyone mentions taking Mom to the hospital, she usually calms down. She quieted enough for Cheri to assess her injuries. After checking her completely, Cheri was sure my mother hadn’t broken anything. The fall simply scared Mom, and the injury to her hand was painful.

Later, when I came home, my sister went out to the store. I practiced the piano as my mother went into the kitchen to get herself a bowl of soup. Soon, I heard dishes crashing down onto the floor and countertop. I jumped up from the piano and went to my mother’s aid. At that point, she was hitting herself in the head with her hand, muttering, “I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid!”

Without thinking, I raised my voice: “Don’t say that about yourself! You are not stupid. You simply are a little frazzled from all that happened to you today.” With that, I led her back to the couch and fixed her dinner, as I, probably, should have done, initially. She was hesitant for me to clean up the broken glass. She wanted to do it herself and to make her own dinner. However, she knew I was serious, because I rarely raise my voice.

As we more calmly discussed what had happened, my mother shared that she was afraid of losing control of her life and her body. To that end, that fear turned into self-condemnation. Even the most uneducated person would never condemn an elderly person for getting old and losing functionality; yet, when she reached into her soul to find self-help, an old condemning message came to the surface. This message had probably been there since her stepfather verbally abused her as a child.

I shared with her that she was a wonderful mother and was doing great for being 83. To even be motivated enough to get down on the floor to exercise was more than most people her age would do. And her diabetes had caused neuropathy in her hands, which made her not feel her fingers and hands, especially the weight of something. So, she drops heavier articles, because she can’t estimate the weight of them as to the amount of feeling she has in her fingers.

I’m listening to her moan, now, as I write this. Again, she mutters, “I’m so messed up!” I shake my head in dismay. How can she get better, if all she does is condemn herself for the present situation? The truth is: She will have a difficult time of getting well, until she changes her mind about her self-assessment. Love and caring heals! Condemnation pushes you further into the abyss of darkness, away from the healing light.

We can only see fault in other people, when the fault, indeed, exists within ourselves. So, I know that I must have some of this same self-condemning talk rising, as well.

I am knowing for her and I that we are created in the image and likeness of Creator God and Unlimited Good and Wholeness. We are one with that Wholeness, operating from the center of It, as It, in It. So, we are complete and whole now, having all the tools and energy we need to move forward, even from sickness, pain, and negative situations. Everything that presents itself in our lives is subject to this Unlimited Good and Power to change anything negative to positive.

I, also, know this truth for you, too, today!

Fatal Virtues CoverFinding_Authentic_Yo_Cover_for_KindleBilly Ray's Secret CoverGluten-free cookbook coverYour Gay Friend's Cover artProtein Powered Veg - picBooks have feelings:Cover Pic

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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Why Do I Get in the Way of My Dreams?

I had been praying and doing spiritual mind treatment for many things in my life, including finances, great opportunities to use my talents, friendships, relationships, and actually rebuilding my entire life in a new place. So, I’ve spent much of my time actualizing my dreams—working toward them. As I see the seeds I’ve sewn begin to bloom, I noticed that I am not so excited about getting up to watch the magnificence of God’s action open its beautiful petals to the universe. Instead, I see some fear begin to rise as opportunities, auditions, performances, and new relationships present themselves. I asked myself an important question in the midst of all this: Why am I trying to get in the way of my dreams?

One very disturbing thought popped into my mind: I’m not ready! Or, even worse, as I deliberated with that thought: I’m not good enough! I’m afraid of failure! (It’s as if the seeds God tended to, raised from seedlings, and are now ready to bloom, just don’t have the sunshine or water to get the vital energy to manifest!)

I thought, Really! After you have spent the last seven months reworking your life, getting rid of the dross, taking deliberate steps to create a better life; when God hands you your dream, you find that you are not ready? Why?

Suddenly, I faced the fear that has been keeping me from being the best and most successful person I can be my entire life. I realize that this little boy inside of me is still scared of the dark—frightened of what he doesn’t know. Most importantly, he is quite afraid of losing. He may even be more comfortable standing still than moving forward into unchartered territory.

I have a dear friend who gets very frightened when she doesn’t know directions to a new place. If you drive in a car with her, you will actually notice she begins to sweat, as she mutters, “Oh, my God, what if I make a wrong turn. I’ll never find my way back here. How will I get home?” Before the dawn of GPS, I could understand this problem. But, now, as getting lost is almost an impossibility, even in the largest cities, I find the fear completely irrational.

Yesterday, as I drove with her, we turned on the GPS and as the voice gently guided her through each turn, I said, “You can’t expect your mind to be able to think clearly, when you clutter it with so many thoughts from the past and even into the future.” I didn’t judge her thoughts as fearful. “You simply need to listen to one direction at a time and do it. Stay in the now and see if you feel less tense.” Immediately, she began to feel more at ease in the driving to an interview for the next day.

As I deliberate my own self-sabotage, I have to take my own advice that I gave my friend. Take one step at a time forward. Life simply won’t feel so frightening.

I had a new seminar happening this week—the first one from my book “Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior.” I am singing four solos, which I have to memorize, for a huge celebration at church. I am in rehearsal with 12 new songs to learn for a Christmas show. And I have had many auditions peppered into this mix from my new acting agent. On top of all of it, I have family commitments, friend commitments, and a new relationship budding.

Life is full. If I let all of it come at once, of course, it will appear frightening. I remember the old Christie Lane song: “One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus.” One moment at a time, I can actually deal with on a great and peaceful basis. “I got this covered! I know I can do this! I have practiced my entire life for this moment!” These are the encouraging thoughts we must say to ourselves in moments like these.

Let God’s flowers bloom in your life. Don’t be afraid of success. You are made for success, in the image of God. You are meant to shine the light of power and truth brightly into the world. That’s what you’re here on this earth to do. Don’t let the shadows scare you. Remember: “If you are seeing a shadow, you’re not facing the light!”

Meditation PhotoYour Gay Friend's Cover artGLUTEN FREE COVERBook Cover - Full SizeMarlenepicFatal Virtues CoverMarlenepicBilly Ray's Secret Cover

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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