Tag: sensory defensiveness

Careful of My Feelings…

Have you ever had a friend or spouse who is not only sensitive to smell, touch, and light, but also very sensitive to the way you speak and act, as well? This kind of sensory defensiveness can play out as Avoidant Behavior in relationship if you don’t see that Sensory Sensitivity can easily become Emotional Sensitivity.

 

Individuals who exhibit sensory defensiveness demonstrate unique, individualized responses to sensory input and may include patterns of avoidance, sensory seeking, fear, anxiety and aggression (Wilbarger & Wilbarger, 2006, p. 2). These difficulties arise from inefficient processing of sensory information however they are often misdiagnosed as being emotional in origin.

 

While it is important to differentiate the different origins and underlying dysfunctions of sensory defensiveness and emotionally based difficulties, it should also be noted that sensory responses never occur in the absence of emotion. In fact, while the disorder in sensory defensiveness is rooted in sensory processing, its ramifications if left untreated extend quickly into the domains of emotional and mental disorders.

 

In layman’s terms the Sensory Defensive person is one who has a large amount of sensory responses to every action in life. It’s as if you send 5 Defensive Lineman in and 30 come instead. (Did I just use a football metaphor? This gay man is out of control!)

If you get hit in the arm and you hurt at 100%, you can imagine that the sensory defensive person would feel 200-300% pain. When you are not a sensitive person, it’s hard to imagine or have compassion for the people in your life who are extremely sensitive. Coming from someone who has dealt with “You Are Just Too Sensitive!” my entire life and having 1000s of clients who are of the same ilk—THIS IS REAL!

If you asked each sensory defensive person if he or she would or could change themselves and their sensitivity, I’m sure they would all answer yes. I’ll give you an example of a scenario that might play out in the life of a Sensory Defensive Person.

 

I go to a restaurant with some friends. I order some food. Next to me is a table full of smokers. They are not smoking at the time, but they had just come in the restaurant from a bar and smell of cigarettes and reeking of booze. I’m sitting next to them, too close. The smell is so repulsive that it begins to give me a headache. By the time we order, I have asked the person on the opposite side of the table to trade places with me. When the order comes I already have a fully-manifested migraine and can’t even eat my food, which would lead me to frustration and anger.

 

If I don’t know that this is what happens to me because of a diagnosis, I may lash out in anger at a friend or the waitress, because my order isn’t correct. Ultimately, if I’m not being observant of my behavior, I will get out of control. Everyone around me will simply think that I am tightly wound.

Misperception of ourselves and our relationship to this sensitivity is why I want to help people become aware of this disorder. It is on the spectrum of Autism. I say that because I want you as the reader to understand it really has beginnings in the neural make-up of the brain. This disorder has not been studied much, but it should be. I would venture to guess that almost 40% of my clients have been dealing with this disorder most of their lives. Some have turned to alcohol and drugs to diminish the sensitivity, because drugs like Pot will slow the neural pathways to the point where you feel normal.

If you sense you need to talk to someone for these issues, give me a call. I’ve become an expert on the subject and can help you with many tried and proven suggestions and hypnotherapy, as well. 954-253-6493.

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Also, join me on my new YouTube Cooking Series: Angel Feast: Recipes for a New World: to see the first 7 cooking shows. Fast and easy, delicious to the root! That’s our motto!

 

 

GIVING AND RECEIVING IN LIFE IS OFTEN DIFFICULT. I have been giving from my heart about 2-3 hours a day for 7 years to create advice–spirit, mind and body for millions of readers. Recently, I have been led to ask people to give back as a way for me to learn how to receive.

As a tribute to my belief that “prosperity is all around us, should we choose to receive,” I want to invite those of you who want to send an offering for the joy or advice you have received from Finding Authentic You Blog.

“We must give to receive, always. This is the Law of Reciprocity.”

If you would like to participate in giving to the gift of this blog: Please send all checks, money orders, or credit card requests to:

Bo Sebastian, c/o Finding Authentic You Enterprises,
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Thank you for your gift!

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A FREE HYPONSIS MP3 TO HELP YOU DURING TIMES OF PAIN. SEND THE RECEIPT TO bosebastian5@gmail.com and I’ll send the Mp3 within the week, I promise.

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. Click here!

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books:

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

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YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE!

For my entire life I have had parents, friends, and teachers tell me that I was too_sensitive. Pain seemed to affect me more than anyone else in my family. I was overly emotional to mental hurt. I tended to have sensitivity to all smells, including cigarette smoke, which filled my house for my entire childhood.

Mainly, I had a sensitivity to food, which created a strange feeling in my mouth and tasted were very strong. My palate would accept very few food sources, causing my parents and family to call me persnickety and picky. No one really understood. As a fact, many still do not understand food sensitivity and sensory defensiveness.

The Medical Dictionary defines Sensory Defensiveness as an over-reaction to a non-noxious sensory stimulus resulting in an adverse or defensive response. Types of sensory defensiveness may be associated with tactile, oral, auditory, olfactory, visual, or movement stimuli.

In my practice as a life coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist, I have had many clients think they had anxiety, stress or problems with migraines or pain, but the diagnose led to one place: Sensory Defensiveness, which is form of Autism, actually. The therapy that helps these fine folks function is called “Sensory Integration,” which is part of the Autism Research Institute.

Continue reading below.

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Sign up for our mailing list BELOW. (You need to only do this once!) You’ll be privy to the latest and greatest ways to help yourself eat, exercise, meditate, and express your authentic life in ways you never thought possible. I promise not to flood you with ads or sell your name to advertisers. This is a personal e-mail server, which I use only to make big announcements. Thanks for signing up in advance.

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Continued from above:

  • Do clothing labels bother you?
  • Do you find many different foods repulsive?
  • Do loud sudden or piercing sounds startle you?
  • Do you need to wear sunglasses even on a cloudy day?
  • Do tunnels or escalators cause you panic?

Above are just a few of the ways this diagnosis can cause a person undo stress on his or her nervous system.

According to Wikipedia: in a normal nervous system, for instance when someone touches you, the brain experiences that touch through the somatosensory system (also somatosensory nervous system) is a complex system of nerve cells that responds to changes to the surface or internal state of the body. Nerve cells called “sensory receptors” send signals along a chain of nerve cells to the spinal cord where they may be processed by other nerve cells and then relayed to the brain for further processing. Sensory receptors are found in many parts of the body.

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To make this scenario easier to understand, if you have ever taken an antidepressant or a drug like Gabapentin for restless legs syndrome (RLS), to relieve numbness and tingling related to diabetes, to prevent hot flashes, and to relieve pain that can accompany shingles (known as post-herpetic neuralgia), you know that the result of taking the drug creates a lessening of sensation. In other words, the drug interrupts the neuro-receptors in such a way that you feel—less pain, less emotion, less sexual pleasure.

Now imagine neuro-receptors doing just the opposite—going on overdrive to cause an amplification of sensation, pain and feelings. This is what a person diagnosed with Sensory Defensiveness feels on a 24-hour basis.

We are sensitive to just about everything. However, my focus today is going to be on food sensitivity. I’ll begin with the journey of a young mother who came to me in tears: “My 5-year old daughter will only eat a total of 5 foods, none of them are healthy. I don’t know what to do. Can you help?”

I assured her there was help. I met with the daughter the next day. We talked about many things that we had in common, including all of the other ways we were sensitive. I shared with both mother and child about the complex issue of sensory defensiveness.

Even though the daughter was very young, she wanted to understand the problem just as much as her mother. Why wasn’t she like anyone else in her life?

We began to sort out the food that felt strange, tasted strange, and she simply couldn’t swallow because of texture. Then we looked at the food that she could tolerate—including the smell, the taste, the crunch, the textures. Every aspect of the food is important if you want to create a healthy food and doesn’t get rejected by her overly sensitive brain.

Using my vast knowledge of cooking, I began to create food that would have nutrition, textures and tastes she enjoyed most. She agreed that she would try at least one of these new foods a day for a period of a week. Within a week, we found 5 new nutritional food sources she could swallow. What a relief it was for her mother and family. This is an extreme example of food sensitivity.

For me, as a child, I was more repulsed by textures and smells than anything else. I wouldn’t eat a legume, a vegetable (except for green beans), or an onion. I detested any meat that was the texture of bologna or a hotdog. Pink and mushy wasn’t a good feeling to me. To this day, I can’t even imagine eating a real hotdog. Give me a tofu dog, and I’ll eat it.

Perhaps, even at a young age, I understood that animals had to die for me to eat these foods. That may have been way too much for young mind to handle. So, I simply cut myself off from all things that resembled animals. I could eat a hamburger or bacon, but put something on a bone in front of me, I’d be far less likely to eat it.

This last example is a sample of food sensitivity comes from different sources of sensory defensiveness, which is why this problem has to be looked at from a larger scope.

If you find yourself in any of the above paradigms or know someone suffering in this way, share this blog. I also recommend the great read: Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight, by Sharon Heller, Ph. D.

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* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

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My Second Slap in the Face #sensorydefensiveness #migraines #spiritualadvice #perfume #cologne

Thirty years ago, a woman had been chasing me for about a month. She was a coworker and an associate where I worked, so it was hard not to interface with her daily. Eventually, she invited herself to my home for dinner. She brought a bottle of wine. When she got too drunk to drive, she asked if she could spend the night. After I tucked her into the guest bedroom, I went to my own room to sleep. Just as I closed my eyes, I heard a gentle knock on my door. Before I could get my clothes on, she invited herself into my room. She wore practically nothing, sat on top of me, and began to massage my neck and head. When I had to push her away. She slapped my face. She left the room and my house, obviously not too drunk, after all.

I share this story, because it is easy to know when you physically slap someone in the face, but far harder to know when you do so without any physical contact. I would say that almost once a week now someone, without physical contact, slaps me in the face. How is this so?

For a long time, the ability to wear cologne as a man or a woman was a right of passage into adulthood. I remember my first bottle of Brut. It stunk like hell, but I did not know that. I loved wearing it, everyday. I did not care who else had to smell the cheap fragrance. It was mine to wear. Or was it?

What people who wear cologne and perfume in large volumes do not realize is how much it affects those around them. It is as potent as cigarette smoke to a lot of people who are sensitive to smell and get migraines from being around people wearing large amounts of inorganic fragrance.

If any of those people ever had to suffer even four hours of a migraine, let alone a 3-day migraine, huddled up in dark bedroom, with ice packs on his or her head, just praying that the medicine he or she took would kick in long enough to sleep, they would consider just how much of an outright slap in the face cologne can be. These kinds of migraines are the result of me spending just 15 minutes in the car with someone who has just sprayed cologne before getting into my car.

For one month, around the Christmas holidays, when work was slow, I decided to see what it was like to become an Uber Driver. What I did not realize is that the only hinderance that would prevent me from enjoying the many lovely people I would meet was the inexhaustible amount of cologne and fragrance I would have to endure. I even kept a surgical facemask in the car, but my eyes would swell up, so it did little good.

The reason why some women and men wear so much cologne came from a friend who sang in a choir with me. She had to stand next to me on opening night, drenched in cologne. Since I had to sing, I had no choice but to confront the situation; otherwise, my throat would have closed up and a migraine would have soon followed in the middle of the show. I needed to move to another place. She told me, “We women have to spray enough cologne on to last for the entire night. It will wear off, otherwise. Don’t worry!”

Too late! I had a migraine for two days after that show.

I have to speak up and share. If you look at the content of your cologne or perfume and no organic oils are a part of the smell, you probably wear a toxic chemical that is going to give someone a very uncomfortable headache, if you have to stand next to, drive with, or sit with that person during the day.

If you are sensitive to cigarette smoke, think of this as a metaphor for the amount of impact your own physical smell with cologne or perfume affects those around you. No matter the expense of the cologne, toxic is simple toxic.

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This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in March 2016!

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Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

 

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