I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, the feeling of someone to care about you and you alone is a deep, yearning desire in 99% of the people I know. Even if you are the breadwinner of the family and take care of everyone valiantly, somewhere inside that hard veneer you would like to believe that someone could take care of you in some way in exactly the way you need it. This is inherent in all human beings from the time we leave our mother’s safe arms until we die.
That 1% of people who don’t know what it feels like to be taken care of because they grew up in an orphanage or were abandoned at birth, still have the DNA and natural instinct to realize that they have missed out on something integral to the growing process. So, what do we do to fulfill that need when no one in the family steps up to the plate or when we have been abandoned by the very person who has been the caregiver?
Being able to give is a radical change from learning to receive, but both are imperative to learn in our Spiritual Growth. To be good at one isn’t necessarily a true test that you’ll be good at the other. In fact, even people who would love to be taken care of can’t express the need or feel guilty when they receive. It’s as if their role is being compromised.
Growing up as a caregiver, I have never been so blessed to have a husband who loves to give as much as he loves to receive. In this way, he has helped me learn to be waited on, sometimes, and be amazingly appreciative. I’ve realized that it’s okay to lose my identity in this shift of roles. It’s a great feeling to realize that I can love and be a giving person and also have someone so appreciative that he wants to balance my load.
In all of my years searching for love, it seems I have always found people who were anxious to take but not so willing to give. Because there are more of those taking types out there, it was fairly easy to find a fine looking person who fit the role in the looks department, but in the day-to-day living department that pretty selfish person expected this symbiotic dependent/codependent situation to continue throughout the relationship.
So, in retrospect, maybe a caregiver/taker relationship could work if you’re willing to take care of yourself. But, there is no way in hell you can continue in any relationship without giving yourself what you need to recharge your mind, body, and soul.
If you don’t make this effort you will end up addicted to food, shopping, gambling, alcohol, or something else that can fulfill you in an addictive way and quickly.
If you decide to stay this kind of relationship, here are a few examples of caregiving gestures you can give yourself:
- Take a ME day once a week;
- Force your partner to take the reigns at least once a week; or
- Simply find those hours in the day that are yours and bask in the reality that you are your own caregiver, and you can do whatever you want to recharge your batteries.
Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.
SKYPE sessions are available. Click here for more information.* * *
A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian
What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)
Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!