Tag: The Ego

THE INNER BRAT: an unbalanced ego #egobalancing #spirituality #spiritualadvice #healthyego

If you have been following the last few blogs, I have been writing about the Ego. We have decided that the ego can be either healthy or unhealthy, balanced or imbalanced. One sign of an unhealthy ego is what the author and speaker, Christian de la Huerta calls “the inner brat.” I have called it in my writing the “inner child who always gets its way.”

You can recognize this part of your ego or in another person quite easily because it appears like the scenario below:

Child: “Mommy, mommy, I want this toy. Please mommy!”

Mother: “You have enough toys. Play with the ones you have already!”

Child: Begins to whimper. “But I want Thomas the Train.”

Mother: “Sorry, not today.” She speaks quietly because they are in Macys.

Child: Crying now. Sits in the middle of the department store floor and won’t budge.

Mother: Tries to get the child to come with her, nicely.

Child: Resists. Begins to rant. “I want Thomas the train now! I want Thomas the train! Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!”

Mother: Now embarrassed because the child is acting out in a large crowd, takes the toy from the shelf and shoves it in the child’s hand.

Child: Immediately stops crying and smirks…

When a child consistently gets what he or she wants, that child learns to control people by bad behavior. The parent loses control. Every in the room becomes controlled by this bad behavior.

That same child can exist in all of us. For those of us who have not dealt with that imbalance in our lives, we may still have that “inner brat” that won’t accept no for an answer from anyone. When we accept this imbalance as this is just me and I can’t help it, then we admit we have no control over ourselves. We may have learned to control others. But, what is more important: self-control, or the ability to manipulate others?

If you experience this feeling about to erupt, you can do yourself a big favor by stepping back from the situation and asking yourself a few probing questions:

  1. What am I missing here?
  2. Is there a delicate lesson to be learned by me not getting what I want?
  3. What will I be if I let go of this feeling?

Of course, you cannot get to this problem if your pulse is pounding out of your chest and your face is flushed. Before you ask the questions, you must take consistent breaths, with your inhales and exhales equal in length and longer than normal. This, of course, will lower your blood pressure and move your body toward a calmer state, so that you can adjust your mental state to more of an observer than one who is actively in the problem and unable to solve anything.

The “inner brat” can be a challenging imbalance, especially if you have allowed it to exist in your for a long time. When I child gets what he or she wants, it only satisfies that current need. Begin to realize that getting what you want right now, in this moment, may be satisfying, but it never challenges you to become a better, more balanced person. The child never learns his lesson that not everything in life is meant for us at any given moment.

Ask yourself this important question: Do you want to appear to your friends and family as that child in Macy’s? If you don’t, begin the process of letting go of the need to control everyone and get everything you desire in the moment you desire it.

Life comes to all of us as we accept the present as the perfect moment, in the perfect time, as peace and love.


This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 8.42.10 AM

Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in April  or May of 2016!


Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

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Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]






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Let the Weeds Grow Alongside the Wheat

I have five gardens. I love my gardens and have become quite the master gardener over the years. In days of old, I used to kill every thing I laid my hands on. But for some reason when I decided I wanted to connect with the earth, it felt as if I were wearing a golden glove. Everything I touched sprouted and grew with veracity.

When I see weeds in the midst of my gardens, I set about trying to pluck them so that they don’t overwhelm the flowers or vegetables. I want all the nurturing vitamins and the water from the soil to go only to the plants, so they mature with strength.

However, this was not Jesus’s advice when it came to the Master’s garden of life’s lessons. Yesterday, I had an epiphany during church at Knoxville Unity. Rev. Lora Beth Gilbreath spoke on Matthew 13—the parable of Jesus explaining about wheat that was planted by the Master. In the night weeds were sown alongside the wheat.

When the gardeners asked the master if they were to pull out the weeds, the Master commanded: Leave the weeds! Let them grow alongside the wheat until the harvest. Then collect the weeds and burn them. Place the wheat in the barn. (paraphrased)

He explained that if you plucked the weeds, you might mess up the root system of the wheat. It would be better to let the weeds grow and then harvest the wheat when is has fully grown.

This metaphor is fairly clear to me now that the wheat is our human existence and spiritual growth. The weeds are the ego and it’s lessons.

Every day our lessons coincide with our growth—as the wheat and the weeds grow along side one another. Negative things must be processed with our ego to actually support the spiritual growth in our life. If we pluck out all of the sensations and drive of the ego, we don’t really honor our earthly path. We are here to understand the difference between good and evil, right and wrong, and love and hate. When we take away the lessons, there is no groundbreaking understanding to support spiritual growth in our lives.

Once the spiritual growth happens in a certain area of life, it may be time to pluck out the weeds and harvest the lessons you have learned. Even in this harvest time, it may also be great to share what you have reaped from the lessons learned with those around you, as you would from a lovely garden planted with vegetables and herbs overflowing.

Your ego is a very important facet of your life. Though your spirituality is the driving force behind your mind and body, the transforming power of the spirit always uses the ego to create situations in our lives to bring about tremendous, life-changing growth.
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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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