Tears of Joy and Sadness #tearsofgrey #sadness #expressinggrief

What I discovered in the many years of life coaching is that people need a safe place to experience their emotions. Tears just happen to be a part of that emotional core that may be burying deep within layers and layers of unexpressed and undefined grief. Perhaps, what we all need is a course on how to express our deepest emotions so that our bodies don’t hold grief and cause illness and debilitating diseases, which is the result of bottled up, negative energy.

I have a friend who hasn’t shed a tear his entire adult life. He is fifty-five years old. After some inquiry, I learned that most adult men don’t cry much. The opposite is true about women, of course, because most women know how to express emotion. This is built into their DNA. Then, let’s just put gay men right in the middle, because some are tough and some are just wimps, like me. I cry at the drop of a hat, especially when people talk about relationships with fathers and sons. OY VEY. Don’t get me started about that.

Here’s my recommendation about managing grief, using an example from my life:

You know you have a deep-seated issue with your father. He passed away several years ago. You didn’t even cry at his funeral. You were much too angry at him for all the childhood abuse and the continued pain he caused as an adult. While he was alive, you started to go to therapy, but you never had the opportunity to really share your pain with him. So, you feel, now, that you will never be able to express to him or anyone the real rancor that exists deep within you. What do you do?

As a clinical hypnotherapist, I have taken people back to some key points in their lives during trance. In those sessions, we have taken the adult self into the place where the child was abused or harmed. As an adult, you have a voice. As a child, perhaps, you had no recourse to the pain that someone served you. So, you can bring your adult consciousness back to the problem area.

A good hypnotherapist can walk you through confronting that person in trance. This is a great way to express deeply seated pain. Of course, I’m available to help you, if you want to contact me (information below), and I can even do this on Skype or Facetime. I don’t need to know you personally. All we need to do is understand your story and confront your problem past.

Perhaps, you don’t need to cry. Maybe you need to get good and angry. But, we don’t concern ourselves with the outcome in hypnosis. The body and mind knows what it needs to heal. We must focus in on confronting the demons in our story, so we can rewrite our future without the pain of the past.

Another very good, but, perhaps not as effective, way to reach into that pain-pocket is to begin to journal about it. When I write something down, I tell myself that writing the story is the resolution of my pain. If I find myself creating circular thoughts about the same story, I remind myself that it has already been written. I tell myself, you can either reread what you wrote, or let it go! There is no need to continue to churn those negative thoughts in your mind. Most of the time, this action works for me. But, I have to tell you, this works with pain that is tangible and has working parts and characters I can see. When your pain is deep, you often need to seek help, which is a great step forward for anyone wanting to emancipate from pain.

I will continue writing about this in my next blog.

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If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]




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