The Force vs Power of the Parent #parents #narcissism #parentallove #guilt #overcomingguilt
January 29, 2016
I have known many parents who have done a stellar job of raising their children. Their adult kids now are wonderful people. But, even when the child is completely successful as an grown-up, anyone who knows the parent can see the results of where the children have been guided by parents or forced by them. In talking with the children who have now become adults, even they can easily see what parts of their lives have been overthrown by parental guilt or force.
So, why discuss this issue today in a spiritual blog? When we speak of force, there is always an equal and opposite response, even scientifically. When we use power, though, we come from an authentic place of authority that gently guides us and those we direct to the right decisions and ultimately the correct paths.
I have never raised a child on my own, but I have helped raise my sister’s children at different times of my life, meaning that they lived with me for long periods of time. So, without actually getting to know the feeling of having my own child, I did get to experience what parenting feels like in the absence of having my own. As a result, I became a father figure when my nephew’s own father died and when my niece needed housing as a young adult. Parenting is the greatest responsibility, which I never took lightly.
However, looking back, I may have used force a few times when I could have gently helped the child learn his own lesson. I remember a specific time when my nephew did something wrong that I was there to witness: he broke something in the house because he was playing with a ball he should have been using outside instead of inside. The object was something precious and expensive, because I was very angry. I sent him to his room for a time out.
After I cooled down, I went to my nephew’s bedroom room and heard him whimpering still, even though a half an hour had passed. I opened the door and sat next to the four year old. I took his hand and said, “Do you understand what you did wrong?”
He still couldn’t speak. He just cried and shook his head affirmatively.
“What did you learn from this?” I asked him after another long moment.
To my surprise, from his heaves of tears he said, “Uncle Bo, it’s so… h–h-h-hard to be good!”
I hugged him tightly and said, “Yes, it is, my precious angel.”
In those moments when Spirit’s brilliant lesson passed from my anger to my nephew, I think of that young mind and the positive mark that moment left on his soul. As opposed to taking away a toy for a week, or paddling, or manipulating some other response, my own need to cool off left me allow my nephew to learn his own lesson in the privacy of his pact with the universe and God.
His lesson was simple but profound. It was from an authentic experience of making the wrong choice in a world where it’s often difficult to make the best choices that benefit all of those around us.
Let’s use power, not force in our lives, today. I guarantee that you will definitely see the difference in the people who are subordinate to you and those you love.
This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in January)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.
Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in January 2016!
Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.
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