THE INNER BRAT: an unbalanced ego #egobalancing #spirituality #spiritualadvice #healthyego
March 18, 2016
If you have been following the last few blogs, I have been writing about the Ego. We have decided that the ego can be either healthy or unhealthy, balanced or imbalanced. One sign of an unhealthy ego is what the author and speaker, Christian de la Huerta calls “the inner brat.” I have called it in my writing the “inner child who always gets its way.”
You can recognize this part of your ego or in another person quite easily because it appears like the scenario below:
Child: “Mommy, mommy, I want this toy. Please mommy!”
Mother: “You have enough toys. Play with the ones you have already!”
Child: Begins to whimper. “But I want Thomas the Train.”
Mother: “Sorry, not today.” She speaks quietly because they are in Macys.
Child: Crying now. Sits in the middle of the department store floor and won’t budge.
Mother: Tries to get the child to come with her, nicely.
Child: Resists. Begins to rant. “I want Thomas the train now! I want Thomas the train! Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!”
Mother: Now embarrassed because the child is acting out in a large crowd, takes the toy from the shelf and shoves it in the child’s hand.
Child: Immediately stops crying and smirks…
When a child consistently gets what he or she wants, that child learns to control people by bad behavior. The parent loses control. Every in the room becomes controlled by this bad behavior.
That same child can exist in all of us. For those of us who have not dealt with that imbalance in our lives, we may still have that “inner brat” that won’t accept no for an answer from anyone. When we accept this imbalance as this is just me and I can’t help it, then we admit we have no control over ourselves. We may have learned to control others. But, what is more important: self-control, or the ability to manipulate others?
If you experience this feeling about to erupt, you can do yourself a big favor by stepping back from the situation and asking yourself a few probing questions:
- What am I missing here?
- Is there a delicate lesson to be learned by me not getting what I want?
- What will I be if I let go of this feeling?
Of course, you cannot get to this problem if your pulse is pounding out of your chest and your face is flushed. Before you ask the questions, you must take consistent breaths, with your inhales and exhales equal in length and longer than normal. This, of course, will lower your blood pressure and move your body toward a calmer state, so that you can adjust your mental state to more of an observer than one who is actively in the problem and unable to solve anything.
The “inner brat” can be a challenging imbalance, especially if you have allowed it to exist in your for a long time. When I child gets what he or she wants, it only satisfies that current need. Begin to realize that getting what you want right now, in this moment, may be satisfying, but it never challenges you to become a better, more balanced person. The child never learns his lesson that not everything in life is meant for us at any given moment.
Ask yourself this important question: Do you want to appear to your friends and family as that child in Macy’s? If you don’t, begin the process of letting go of the need to control everyone and get everything you desire in the moment you desire it.
Life comes to all of us as we accept the present as the perfect moment, in the perfect time, as peace and love.
This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.
Please be looking for “YOUR NEW STORY, YOUR NEW LIFE, Unlock Your Seven Spiritual Discoveries” in bookstores and in online bookstores in April or May of 2016!
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