The Passing of a Friend: The Message in the Now #death #dying #grief #spiritualadvice
April 20, 2015
At the end of the discovery blog, yesterday, I promised that, today, I would discuss the Message in the Now. As it turns out, late last evening, I got a phone call telling me that my pastor’s wife had passed earlier that day. I went to sleep thinking about how that news changed my world and, certainly, the world of my beloved friend and pastor. I wondered, indeed, what the message in the now sent my pastor and, also, trusted that he would have the opportunity to ponder that gift.
As I meditated before I went to sleep, I began to think about the many ways that Source had given the pastor opportunities to enjoy the last couple of years of his marriage. His wife’s cancer diagnosis was laden with early grief, but also gave the couple the opportunity to plan for the ending, if it came, two years before her human body’s demise. Knowing, not knowing someone will pass—I know there probably is little difference in the end, when it comes to grief. But, after the initial time of despair, I’m sure my pastor will look back at the last two years as a divine gift from Source.
Every relationship will come to an end, whether in one leaving or one passing. This is humanity in action. Reconciling this with our hearts is important in living in the now in every relationship in our lives. Actually knowing the end for him was, indeed, a powerful gift. I have had the opportunity to help people in palliative care make their transitions. The process can be beautiful if dealt with in a spiritual way, honoring life’s ultimate cycle.
So, this gift is in every present moment. If we deny the NOW and take an alternative path to our reality, through the future or the past, we deny spirit’s gift. The present is the gift. I suppose that’s why we call the now, a present. The word present has two very separate, but, perhaps, equal meanings. One meaning signifies the now, the other means a gift. Same word, same meaning.
Finding the meaning in the now sometimes takes faith. Maybe the meaning of the now will be revealed to you later. For instance, if you are jobless and go for an important job interview, the now may be finding out that you didn’t get that beloved and perfect job. The gift, however, may be in the faith, knowing that an even better job is waiting for you.
This situation happened to someone close to me. She looked for a job for eight months. Finally, she had an interview that seemed perfect. She didn’t get the job. As the family continued to believe the right and perfect job was there for her, she ended up having two consecutive interviews just as her savings had run out. She got hired for both jobs and was able to decide which job would better serve her. In the end, the gift was garnering faith and belief. She is a better person for having to wait for her good. Her faith has increased and so has her positivity about life.
The now, though it may look like a heap of dung sometimes, often holds our greatest lessons and gifts if we are willing to look at them. The universe always wants the biggest and best for you. Often, we don’t even know what that is. But Source does.
We must trust that the biggest and best always exists in the mind of God; therefore, it exists in you. The now is your present. Take it, unwrap it, and discover its usefulness in your life. (This novel below, The Leaving Cellar, is about the passing of a beloved wife. I know you’ll enjoy this Southern take on a heartfelt and sometimes funny love story.)
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