The Secret Box
January 27, 2017
Once there was a man who found a box buried next to the grave of his beloved grandmother. He was planting some flowers by her graveside when his shovel struck what he thought was a rock. When he knelt down beside the dead flowers he was digging up, he noticed a black box.
Most of us, if we’re lucky, grow up in loving families. But people are often full of contradictions and it is a rare family that doesn’t hold some sort of skeleton. Some of our buried secrets lose their power over the years, but others leave a damaging legacy.
In families with more shameful secrets, communication becomes difficult. Children’s natural curiosity may be met with hostility, questions are discouraged and lies are perpetuated. It isn’t easy to keep secrets hidden. We communicate in so many ways. Information is revealed by what we choose to talk about or not talk about. How we react, our body language, the expression on our faces all tell a story. Secrets in families have great potency because, like buried radioactive material, they can leak and spread poison. (Psychologies, 2016)
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Continued from above:
As a Life Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist, I have very often heard secrets that have never been told before from clients who have found the burden of silence or lies too hard to bear.
Some clients have found that as they break away from a nasty habit or some kind of present anxiety that—what actually caused the problem in the first place—was a deeply hidden secret. In fact, I can’t begin to tell you how many people have said this same phrase to me:
“I have never told anyone this before. I don’t know why I’m telling you now, but….” and they go on to share their deeply compartmentalized and hidden secret.
What I realize and they realize, too, is that secrets are best brought to the light of day. We can discuss them. We can place the proper blame, if needed. We can eliminate shame. We can penetrate the problem—FINALLY—and get to the practice of healing.
My personal secret was sexual abuse as 9-year-old boy. My clients that had this particular secret were always relieved to know that I had experienced the same. In fact, as I look back, I’m almost glad I went through this now. I am stronger and was able to heal through much of my present problems as a result of bringing my truth of the past to the present. I consider this a great tool in my toolbox to be able to pull out when someone needs compassion.
So often, therapist of any kind can’t find the compassion or the empathy to understand clients because they simply don’t understand what it is like to be abandoned, raped, or mentally manipulated by someone. Usually, though, most therapists go into therapy themselves, because they found themselves stuck in the throws of their own secret legacies. This was my case, as well.
The light, yes—the light can open the virtual can of worms and show you the demise of illusion and help you recreate power where there was once a box with just one slip of paper in it—an I O U.
That black box that was hidden by the graveside was the letter written to her daughter, sharing how she had been raped by her brother. In those days, women couldn’t talk about such things. In fact, the young girl had told her mother (1920s). The mother said to never speak of it again. This silence not only ruined the grandmother’s life, but also made the life of the daughter a living hell. So, there it was. The secret hidden in the box that explained everything.
The metaphor is like your secret. We all have one or two. You don’t have to go the rest of your life holding on to its shame any longer. You can gently take it to the light of day, share it with a loved one, talk it out with a therapist, or simply write about it until you’re ready for something more deliberate.
In the end you’ll be a better person for bringing your life to the light.
Fear is an illusion. It will always be an illusion until the love and compassion within you shines bright enough to squelch the negativity under your heels. This doesn’t happen when you avoid your greatest fears.
This happens when you face and overcome them!
Love yourself today! Love is the gift to the soul that always brings an amazing, healing result.
You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/
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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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