The Secret: Don’t Be Attached to Results

I have spent much of my life working for something and have become completely attached to the result of that ephemeral thing happening. But just as life eludes us often, so life eluded me with this aspect of it.

I remember the first time I dreamed of writing a book. It felt like a pipe dream, until one day I bought a computer with the intention to write. I began with a chapter that I thought was chilling and wonderful. I shared it with a good friend. He was completely critical. I stopped writing for a short while.

I decided to get writing lessons, before I would try writing again. I did so and finished writing my first novel. I took it to a couple editors who tore it apart. It slaughtered my spirit once again. But this time, I had the courage to simply work through the changes and rewrite the book.

Once the book was finished, I began shopping the book for agents and publishers. After fifty or sixty rejection letters, I figured that the book wasn’t good enough. I decided to get more education. I went to writer’s conferences and got rewired for the business. I took a job in PR at a publishing company. I made friends with the editors and landed a job editing books.

After editing forty books, I felt as if I had a handle on the writing process. After trying to do public relations on twenty books, I had a handle on what it took to get a book from press to a reader’s hands.

I began to write my next novel. This time I felt confident that I could get a publisher. I had a very good plan. The novel was good. I found an agent fairly easily. He pitched it to every major publisher in New York. Everyone rejected it. I got a lot of praise for my writing, but no one liked it enough and thought it was marketable enough to publish it—bottom line—it didn’t come from authentic me.

Step three: writing a book that could be a Bestseller. Off to the bookstore again to read everything I could about writing a bestseller. I took another year to write a haunting mystery about a drug ring run by a matriarch and her gay son. Again, I had some great interest, but I didn’t get the big break I expected.

Finally after many daunting rejections, I went to a writer’s conference and read a short story that I wrote in about an hour in one of the classes. That short story led me to my first publishing deal with Bellebooks. There was no trying. It was simply laid before me.

I spent six years laboring over three novels and nothing but rejection letters piled up on my desk. But suddenly, when I least expected it, God finds a simple short story good enough to get a publisher to make me an offer on my first publishing deal.

When I had no attachments to what was happening; when I was prepared for my future but not knocking down doors to get it, when I was following my heart to visit an old friend and accompany her to a writer’s conference, success followed me.

I learned a lot from that long experience. I actually hung up on a literary agent a week ago, because I wasn’t willing to play publishing games and talk bullshit when I know the real story of success. My next book is God’s book.

I don’t doubt with anything in my heart that success is wrought with hard work and diligence and paying strong attention to the market and to your craft. But one thing is always missing when you play the game scientifically. You always forget that only with the hand of God can anything happen.

And if you are walking along a spiritual path, your growth is way more important to Spirit than any publishing deal. So, if you have to lose a deal to get stronger and gain depth of soul, be prepared to learn that lesson first. If you have to learn to give up the dream and work as a servant to someone to gain perspective on success, then you probably will find yourself waiting tables.

Success comes down to one word—God! He/She who waits on the Lord will find peace.


If you have someone you’ve been wanting to share my blog with, I’d recommend getting a copy for this special person this season. I am only offering this book in Kindle or PDF platform this season. But if you want to get it, print it out, and give it to someone you love, you are certainly welcome to do that. dear friends of “Blog to Grow for Spirit,” I am so happy to announce that for this Holiday season I am offering two special editions of Inspirational BooksIN SEARCH OF A MORE AUTHENTIC YOU, Book 1 and Book 2. Each book has 100 readings from my spiritual and inspirational writings.

Bo Sebastian cost for each book is only $3.99.  You can’t beat that for a Christmas bargain. All you have to do is send me an email and I will send you the book via email as an attachment. You can pay for the book by Paypal (, Credit Card [by providing info in the email or by phone (615) 400-2334], or by sending a check to:

5001 Maywood Drive

Nashville, TN 37211

Also, for this season, please consider shopping at for mp3s, books, paintings, and gift certificates for any services I offer: hypnotherapy, private yoga, vocal lessons, and private vegetarian cooking classes.

I’ll be happy to send you a beautiful gift certificate or you can create one of your own. Again payment can be by Paypal (, Credit Card [by providing info in the email or by phone (615) 400-2334], or by sending a check to the above address.

Many thanks to you for supporting me and my work: To Grow For Spirit.

Bo Sebastian, CHT

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and LifeCoach, available for private sessions to Quit Smoking, Lose Weight with the new Lap Band-Hypnosis, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334.

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