The Sex Sleuth #thedownlow #marriedmen #sexualpredator

Usually in the shadows of the Internet, with muscular bodies and no face pictures, this sleuth finds married men or people in a committed relationship, who hate their lives and hate themselves enough, but need intimacy enough, to create an Internet persona to draw you into their lair like a unaware fawn closing in on a lion’s den.

Scenario: You answer an ad on the Internet with a faceless man who said he was married right up, but hadn’t been intimate with his wife in 15 years. He was going to get a divorce, but wanted to discreetly meet a man and see where it goes. His bio said he is passionate and relationship-oriented. Let’s refer to him as Joe, to make it easier. Joe is a perfect gentleman until he gets his way. Then, he says, he is “wired to fall in love” and would need to stop seeing you, because of his marriage.

I guess the question is: Why would anyone who has ever suffered loss in relationship even begin to believe a story as Joe’s? Joe’s exist all over the place, waiting in dark corners for their prey. But, smart dudes or women should be aware of what isn’t being said in the IM’s and text messages.

The Joe’s in the world appear transparent. They will meet you at their work. They will take you to their home when the wife isn’t home. They will pay for everything, pick you up in a Mercedes, and treat you like a perfect gentleman. Joe will be honest, forthcoming about his situation, even share about a past relationship that went awry because of him falling in love, but only to endear you further. (You see, no one looking for relationship actually hears what a perspective date says. Every man and woman mostly “feels” what a date says, and interprets the scenario with their hearts. You can be the sweetest person, led by your heart, and honest to the point of pain, but when you need intimacy, you will not listen with your ears—you’ll listen with your anxious heart. )

The problem in this scenario is that the intimacy began with all the honesty, up front. Perhaps, Joe didn’t know that he created intimacy the minute he asked you out on a date. Dates mean “I’m ready to be in relationship” with someone looking. Joe opens your heart to transparency that leads to more intimacy of your heart by inviting on a date. If one isn’t wise and on-point 100% of the time, he or she will be led to sensual, if not sexual, intimacy soon in the budding relationship. Yes, I said, relationship, because that is where intimacy leads.

Intimacy is not made by someone saying, blatantly, his interest lies in sex alone. Intimacy begins with honesty and sharing with the heart. So, this sexual sleuth suggests that, “when you see a headless man, no matter how sweet, cute, charming, or naughty you may feel,” you walk away, before the patter begins.

The conversations are the predator vetting you for his prey! If it goes well, and you are honest and loving, you are the perfect person for the DOWNLOW man.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

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