Son of a Preacher Man
I don’t know what it is about being the child of a preacher that makes people crazier than they already are. But let me tell you, give a baby a pacifier and hand him to a preacher. When the child grows up, he’ll imagine that his daddy forced him to suck at everything he did in life, all because of that damn pacifier.
Children of preachers are set up for failure. They are placed on a pedestal by the congregation and by their parents. When the child fails, it’s not just his lesson, it’s in front of the entire church. The feeling is much like a movie star in the eyes of way too many people to feel normal.
I had a client whose Daddy was a Baptist minister and the guy was gay. He was out of the closet with almost everyone else, but admittedly he couldn’t tell his family because he felt his father would be forced to disown him because of his father’s Baptist’s belief system.
I remember sharing with my client that he needed to give his father a chance to show him that Love trumps religion. But as far as I know, my client has never come out to his preacher parents. Sometimes you just have to take that chance, especially with loving parents, which his are.
I remember my own coming out story was a little harrowing, as most are. Some of the family disowned me for a little while, then they got used to the idea that I’m the same person as had been my entire life. Gradually they let me back in. Usually, there is a time before acceptance, though, that they try to use manipulation to get you to leave your authentic truth or lifestyle. When you show your loved ones that you are not wavering from your lifestyle, they eventually come around to loving you again the way they had in the past.
I don’t know too many parents who would rather go the rest of their lives without their child than accept something as trivial as their child being a little different. These days, being gay is like being from another country. It’s simply a different lifestyle. That is, if you’re not fighting a religious battle.
When I came out, my parents immediately thought I was going to dress up as a girl and then die of AIDS. It was if that was a given, if you were gay in the 80’s. Fortunately, television and movies have educated the masses, and we aren’t as ignorant and prejudiced about the gay lifestyle. Also, fortunately, most people understand it’s not a choice, but an inherent drive as heterosexuality to straight people.
But lagging behind, though, are the religious right wing. So, as backwards as it may have seemed for my client not to tell his parents, it was probably the safest choice to make, if he wanted to keep a loving relationship with his preacher parents.
This client had often heard his father speak at the pulpit about gays going to hell and gays are bad and gays are the reason for AIDS… etc. So, he knew that his struggle would be great if he shared his truth with his parents.
But why do you think God made this young man gay?
I think it was for the exact reason you would think—To help this preacher understand the complete and absolute love of God.
If my client never comes forward with his authentic truth to his father, this Baptist preacher never gets the chance to learn his big lesson in life. That makes me sad, because I’ve met this client’s mother and father. I know for certain his parents would never reject this boy.
I hope if you’re reading this and you have someone in your life who is different in some way that you help him/her realize that you love him/her unconditionally. Today is the day to break forth from your past and the beliefs of the past to move toward the best blessing God can give THROUGH YOU!
- The Loss of Sexual Desire-Part III (ED)
- One Step Further