The Straight Facts: Inclusivity What Words to Change When Asking About Marriage #gaymarriage #relationships #relationshipadvice #spirituality #SOM
January 23, 2016
It’s been said that behind every good man there is a good woman. In these days of gay marriage, we need to reframe this statement to say, “Behind every good spouse is equally supportive spouse!” We have a lot of reframing to do in our use of traditional phrases around marriage where our gay friends are concerned. In one day, I cannot believe how many people say things to me that are exclusive, or do not make room for the idea that marriage is not just for men and women anymore.
Let’s look at a few examples you can help make your world a little more inclusive to this change:
- One simple word you can exchange for husband or wife is the word SPOUSE. You will never be prejudiced if you see a wedding band on someone’s hand and use the word spouse, instead of husband or wife; and
- When asking about a spouse, you may consider simply saying the optional choice, “Where did you meet him or her? or simply stop at “Where did you meet?”
If you’re concerned about finding out if this person is gay or not in asking these questions, ask yourself, Is this your business?
I’m sure if this person wants to share, you will eventually find a pronoun in your conversation that will lead you out of the mystery. However, it’s important to remember that not everyone is open about sharing these kinds of details with strangers. So, do not be surprised if you never find out if the person is gay or straight. If that person wants you to know his or her personal business, you will be provided with that information. Remember, the world is still full of prejudiced people. Gay men and women still protect their rights to be out or not.
If you discover in your conversation that the person with whom you speak shares if he or she is gay, then do not be afraid to use words that refer to that particular relationship as being gay. Gay people are not afraid of the word Gay. We do not like to be referred to with derogatory terms such as homosexuals or homos or dikes or fags, or anything else that may infer something is wrong with us. In your conversation with gay men and women, choose words that are simply inclusive.
You will never go wrong with searching your heart for compassion and love when you approach anyone who is different than the norm in this world. We need more people who reach down deep, past the old norms, and look for ways to include everyone in this wonderful world that’s big enough and strong enough to support all kinds of individuals. We all want to live in a world that is “YOU AND I,” not “you or I.”
Seek to be one of those people who help those individuals, whomever they may be, to feel comfortable around you by reaching out of exclusivity and into words that are always inclusive and loving.
This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in February)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.
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