The Tough #Decisions in Life
August 24, 2014
No one is completely resistant to a paralyzing decision. Some of the most frequently asked questions in Life Coaching sessions are about the many choices in life! I often ask, “How do you feel inside about the decision you made or are about to make?” Most people say, “I am too frighten to act on it, yet. That’s why I need your help.”
As a coach, my primary goal is to take away the blocks to what keeps you from your most authentic feelings and desires. Often, what paralyzes us most is an attachment problem from our past. Case and point: A client had a narcissistic parent, who made fun of every dependent life decision he made. Even something as beautiful as my client’s news of his wife’s pregnancy was fodder for his mother’s criticism.
If you grow up in a situation where you had no one to tell you that your decisions were right and just, often, you end up feeling—even as an adult—that you are not good enough or smart enough to make the correct decision. Your mind will flood with all the ways you can keep yourself in the indecision, so you won’t ever have to be wrong. However, who really gets to stay in a place of ambivalence for the rest of his or her life? No one! So, a choice is impending.
So, making that critical choice to finish something and put a period at the end of an incomplete sentence is so important in everyone’s life, for you own self-esteem and to simply move on from the small stuff to your larger choices in life.
Recently, I made a huge decision to move from my home, my business, and my friends to live nearer to my family in Southern Florida. The move came on the heals of a life-altering moment, when my partner chose to leave our relationship because he wasn’t sure—from lack of relationship experience—that I was the right man for him. The day he left, in my sorrow, something opened up inside of my mind to effective and lasting change. A feeling that had never been there before rose to the surface—a choice, a new choice.
I’m not one to run away from my pain. I sat in my sorrow and felt every moment, like a warrior, crying for about a week, until every tear had been shed, felt, and understood. When I arose from my malaise, like the Phoenix, I had realized that my heart had outgrown my current life. What I needed was to move on to my Encore Career and actualize the dreams I had been waiting so long to step toward.
My decision was difficult, but I had no better rudder than to make a strong choice and begin to walk toward it. Most often, if your decision is from a spiritual center, doors will open, and you will begin to settle into a deeply seated peace that no one can shake, and no temporary hiccup can change. The decision you made is not for you, Spirit will be clear in keeping you from moving forward. I know this sounds a little airy-fairy, but honestly, our lives sometimes are continent upon giving up our own misconceptions to embrace Spirit’s deeper goals.
I now sit in an observer space in my mind, watching my life unfold as I have not seen it manifest in so many years. Everything is new. My life feels effortless. The love around has expressed infinitely. Even work has come to me easily. I know that I know I have made the right choice, because I am in it fully immersed.
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