Last week, I settled into my work with trepidation about everything I had to accomplish. Two of my greatest fears were met very quickly at seminar I conducted, and then at an audition. I noticed in each instance that the moment was much easier than I had imagined in my mind. I repeating affirmations that I was offering myself as a conduit for good and love. As I did so, much of the anxiety seemed to slough off, as the moment came into greater focus.
Yesterday, however, I heaped upon myself a great responsibility. I decided that, since my new church had never heard me sing, that I had to be better than everyone had heard or was wondering. So, I rehearsed the four songs for this special gala service for days, going over and over the parts I struggled with to make every part of the songs as perfect as I could make them. Then, midweek, I began to get sick, as everyone around me was also getting head colds and sore throats. I convinced myself that all of my efforts would be for naught if I succumbed to the symptoms.
The one great effort I made was to stave off the sickness. I took care of myself to the nth degree. I slept. I gargled. I did the netti pot. I took prophylactic medications. I warmed up my voice every day, singing full out only when I needed to. I convinced myself that, though my body was aching and tired, I would not allow my vision for this Sunday to perish as a result of self-sabotage, which is what I believed the symptoms of sickness were.
I treated for myself: “Spirit God, power of all, wholeness of the universe, I am one with you. Since Spirit cannot be sick, I also cannot be sick. Since I am showing up for the purpose of Good and Love, I am also not subject to any virus or sickness that is spreading in the human consciousness. This is an illusion, as is my fear and the scratchiness in my throat. I believe this as truth now and no other truths exist. I release this treatment to You and to the law, knowing Spirit moves through me with power to execute all that I do.”
As I continued to meditate on this, I noticed that, indeed, the sickness did not develop. In truth, though, my voice wasn’t in full power. I still didn’t feel any symptoms in my throat, though, but felt some weakness like the flu. I convinced myself that, as long as the sickness didn’t infect my throat, I would be fine for Sunday.
I had gotten up at 5 a.m. to make sure that my voice was on target for 9:30 a.m., which was when the first rehearsal would be on Sunday. I warmed up slowly and without pressure. I never sang in full voice until I actually had to during the rehearsal to do a sound check. Even then, I held back until the live performance.
As I stood up for the first song, I felt a little nervous, but wasn’t overwhelmed. But on the second song, I had no monitor on stage, which meant that I couldn’t hear the music track at all. I felt as though all I could hear was my own voice. I couldn’t tell if the audience was hearing the same thing as I was, so the entire time I was a little uncomfortable, but I put on my brave face and did the best job I could do without being able to hear the background tracks.
As it turned out, the audience had the perfect amount of accompaniment, and I got to focus on just controlling my voice, as it was very loud in the monitor. Now, I believe Spirit was saying in a loud voice: “Listen, Bo, you are all that you believe you are!”
All in all, what I learned about the experience was that living in the moment can sometimes be difficult when you add to your experience life’s expectations and the perceived judgments of others. When I assume that what I will do is being judged and monitored much more than I expected, I wasn’t able to be myself. After the second song, though, when the monitor went out, I decided to let go completely and feel the moment. As I did so, my voice rang out with great gusto and I truly enjoyed being able to share my gifts with the world and specifically with the congregation for the last two songs.
Afterwards, I got loads of great reviews and those who were in the position of judging felt great relief that I was able to deliver the goods at the time I needed to. I’m also thankful for all those who believed in me, because I felt their prayers undergirding my soul and my body.
A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo
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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
- A Time for Celebration — Dr. Rev. Arleen Bump
- A Seed of Deception