Trump, Friends, and Authenticity
February 3, 2017
Ten years ago I dated a Republican for 2 years. He came to my house one day during the elections and asked me to take the John Kerry sign out of my yard. I refused. Basically, that was the beginning of the end. Honestly, what we had to do to continue to make our relationship work was to completely disregard each other’s opinion on a first chakra connection to moral values and core beliefs. A difficult task!
I know a vast majority of Democrats are dealing with this same issue, because I hear it from you every day on Facebook. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard friends say in a public forum: “If you are a Trump supporter, just assume I’ll ‘unfriend’ you immediately!” Honestly, I’ve been doing the same thing. I just don’t want to read another stupid reason why someone would vote for a narcissistic misogynist.
(From Wikipedia: Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, violence against women…)
What happens, though, when a friend, whom you have loved for a really long time confesses to you that he or she voted for Trump?
I guess that most people who voted for Trump really didn’t think of the ramifications that decision would have on me, because most are white, nongay, and Christian. What is the result from one simple decision? For me, what someone says he or she voted for Trump, I think:
Are you really my friend?
- I have an alien fiancé who is gay whom I love, and I’m afraid he may never get back to the US to marry me;
- Can you see how your vote may block me from loving the man I want to spend the rest of my life with?
- I am a very happy person on Obamacare, paying $64 a month. What happens when I don’t have insurance anymore? Will you pay for it?
- I’m gay and not so wealthy. I’m not a member of the elite who gets to pick and choose anything without thinking about cost. How will I be affected by a man who won’t even show his tax returns and has been proven to not have paid the same America he is leading any taxes for 10 years? Will he rob us blind?
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Continued from above:
But, what of that one relative you love or those one or two life-long friends you absolutely can’t believe voted for Trump? What do you do?
Here is the other side of the coin from a Democrat blogger (Monstersofmine.wordpress.com):
“Why didn’t you vote Democrat, just this once?”
Maybe because how in the world could you feel welcomed by a party whose members, by and large, view you as uneducated, out of touch, or bigoted because of your stances or belief systems? Hey, we probably won’t come out and tell you we think that because we’re tolerant and inclusive, but you know. Of course you know.
I know I was thinking it.
My friends who voted for Trump, I never asked you why. I made some assumptions; I shook my fist at my screens and sighed dramatically for The State of Our Civilization. But I never treated your opinions or values with the respect you deserved by the pure virtue of being human, of being my friend. Few, if any, of us did.
If more of us had, then maybe this election would have gone differently.
I can get onboard with this kind of thinking. I am a compassionate, loving, tolerant man. However, when it comes to these core issues, my blood boils with injustice and fury. I can’t be me without saying how I feel.
But, as one rightwing ethics writer says: “Take your passion to the field and protest. Don’t try to change someone’s mind on Facebook.”
This is true. I don’t believe we can actually change anyone’s mind at this point. We are all standing on each side of the political arena waiting for the fight to begin.
I just typed in the words “my best friend voted for Trump, what do I do?” and literally hundreds of posts popped up. I know I’m not the only person in the world who feels this way.
There is actually an App now that Blocks Trump related Facebook Ads and posts. Democrats seem to be passionate, while the Republicans seem to be thinking, let’s just see if someone else can do a better job. What the hell does this mean for America? The presidency is not a reality show where we get to watch if he fails or wins. We can’t just fire him. But, some of America seem to think that it’s okay to withdraw from all the good and progress we have had so far in the arena of “less hate,” “more tolerance,” “more not-so-wealthy people helped by government with healthcare” and “less rich people getting all the tax breaks.”
I would love to hear comments from people who have been in this situation and how you handled it.
You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/
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