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When Making a Positive Choice Slaps You in the Face

We go through life doing the best we can. We get up and hope that the choices we make will not affect anyone negatively. Yet, sometimes, what we choose turns out to be objectionable to those we love. We often sulk and ask why this is so; especially, when we have prayed and meditated on the very incident that is in question.

My thought is this:

If the following idea is true ¨we plant the seeds, God grows the plant,¨then we must realize that even our deeds in life are seeds. We have no idea what the outcome will be and how long it will take for our love to manifest, even in situations that look negative at first.

I´ll give you an example from my own life.

I was living in NYC at the time and was engaged to a woman. We attended a Pentecostal church. The music minister wanted us to sing together, but before that could happen he wanted to meet me for lunch.

During the lunch, the music minister asked me my thoughts about homosexuality. I shared that I had no judgment, which was a bold statement in 1990 for someone attending a Pentecostal church. However, I had already experienced having relationships with men, but decided I wanted to marry  a woman. It was my choice, and I had hoped that no one would judge me unfairly for my personal choice. In the same manner, I didn´t want to judge others or my past.

After the lunch, my fiancée at the time and I got a phone call. Basically, we were kicked out of the church. Of course, both of us were hurt from the circumstance. We didn´t understand why putting out love and no judgment out in the world could come back to us as a horrible abandoned feeling from the church.

25 years later, I was then living as a gay man, out in the Nashville community, and I get an email from a the music director of one of the biggest churches in Nashville. It was this same man from 25 years before. He had come out and gotten kicked out of the church, left his wife and 4 children. He had written to me apologized to me for how he had judged me some 25 years before. His lesson, the plant from my seeds I had sown all those years back of love and nonjudgment, took 25 years to grow. My now friend was finally seeing what kind of seeds he had planted all of those years before.

I site this circumstance, but have many more times in my life when the lesson that was having to be learned wasn´t mine at all. It was someone else´s. Yet, I grieved so hard in the moment.

When you make a hard choice to do the right things, and it slaps you in the face, be prepared for any outcome. Realize that the lesson may not be for you at all. Stand in your truth and be kind to yourself. We can only do the best and make choices with the amount of compassion we posess at the time The rest is up to Spirit!

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