When Past Hurts Return! #healingthepast #pastrelationship #relationshipadvice #divorce

Have you ever opened your heart to someone whom had hurt you, because you felt as if you were healed enough to face the past? Then, you realized, amidst the doing, that you simply were adding drama to your life by inviting that person back into your life?

One of the greatest hurts in my life resulted from doing just that. After eight years and a nasty breakup, I decided to forgive my ex and invited him back into my life, because he was going through a painful break. The result, my ex ended up having a torrid love affair with my current partner of eight years. From that day forward, I have tried to keep the past in the past and the present where it belongs.

Recently, though, I went against my own advice and cracked open that door to a casual hello to someone who had hurt me fairly recently. My excuse and my rational was that I did not want to keep holding hurt in my own heart and wanted to make amends.

The visit went well. We were both a little uncomfortable. But, the result was even more hurtful than before. I chastised myself over and over again.

  • Why did I open that door?
  • Was I trying to see if I still had feelings?
  • Was I hoping he had changed?
  • Was I thinking that I could convert the old situation into a positive one?

All of these questions were viable ones, but none were ones that were good enough to go against my own soul’s boundaries. Here is what I learned after spending the last two days almost completely quiet, searching for truth:

Everyone in my life, whether they choose to hurt me or support me is doing me a favor. EVERYONE!

The reason I have come to this conclusion is because each person is like a road sign steering me in the direction I need to be. Road signs warn you, keep you safe, and give you information about the unexpected coming ahead. When a sign says, “Stop,” or “Go in another direction!” You should be thankful for the knowledge the sign gives. Do not decide you know better than the sign. You could avoid a major collision if you simply pay attention to the road signs.

But, instead, old anxious attachment behavior comes up from the past and decides it wants to heal the past using a particular relationship. Daddy hurt me and now I need to make sure that Relationship X does not mirror my dad’s relationship with me. I need to, want to, have to… change the scenario! But, nothing changes, really, not in your mind and certainly not in the people who have hurt you.

My resolve is that every one of us on this earth shares in the One Mind of God. We were all made in Its image; therefore, we all have something that makes us related. It is within that one part of Divine Mind that we are all being steered into the right direction by the positive people and MOST IMPORTANTLY THE REJECTION!

Don’t let the neural pathways of your human brain steer you. You’ll end up going in circles around your pain.

After this past week, I can say with fortitude in my heart that I’m thankful for the STOP SIGNS in my life. They all have a face. They all are doing the will of God. They all have meaning. And each deserves my COMPLETE ATTENTION.

What they don’t deserve is my anger, my hurt, my negative behavior, and the distraction they cause in my life.



Are you in need of Life or Spiritual Coaching? I’ve been a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist and minister of New Thought for 25 years. I do my sessions online, so you can even have your session in bed, so that you can go directly to sleep during the hypnosis session. You must have a laptop or a notebook to do these sessions, either on Skype or Facetime. You can give me a call at 954-253-6493. My fee is $95 for an hour.

Anxious Attachment Picture

You can find all of my Books by Category at http://www.bosebastian.com/new-page/ All of these books have been birthed from my own spiritual growth. I guarantee you’ll enjoy how each will help you maintain a positive mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels, Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)


Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]






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